(no subject)
michael and i are going to have a talk tonight after he gets home from the college world series game. he's scared, he almost skipped the game. i think he knows what i'm going to say. how couldn't he? things haven't been working between us since before we began going out. yes, i enjoy spending time with him on a few select occassions. but i don't feel it, there's no spark. he asked me the other night whether there was the possibility that i'd marry him. my heart and mind screamed no, my lips said i don't know. he brought up the fact that i don't want to have children, telling his mother that i'm young i'll change my mind. i won't. he forgot me yesterday. i walked home three miles. it was 90 degrees. a man stalked me for 24 blocks. i was scared. he told me he was sorry. then left. brian missed our two year anniversaire. i was hurt. i'll pretend i wasn't. i baked brownies yesterday. the strangers ate them all. i cried myself to sleep last night. i miss my family. michael told me they couldn't come over. i'm alone. brian likes meribel. i'm happy for him. or at least i should be. he (michael)wants someone who wants a serious relationship. how can i be serious about something i see as a game? something i've viewed as a mistake from the first glance to the last kiss? ashley and i went swimming, she burnt her butt. i laughed. i'm gonig to miss his family. he forgot his brother. tyler cried. no one told him they were sorry. he told me i couldn't care about his family. that i didn't belong. i think i'll go buy groceries now.