It's just Too Late
It's just Too Late
author: shy_cookie
pairing: OnTae
genre: angrs
length: one-shot
Summary: The magnae has a lot of questions, and Jinki doesn't understand why, until he gets a confession he wasn't expecting
"Hyung, can I ask you something?" Taemin asked as he walked closer to the SHINee leader. Jinki smiled brightly, like always and looked to the magnae. Usually he would prefer to talk to Kibum or even Minho. It was rare for Taemin to ask him to talk. They were more like father and daughter. And yes, Jinki knew perfectly what kind of comparassion he just made . They would just play around together, mess around, but when it came to talk about really personal things, he and Taemin would just smile to each other and keep quiet. He made space for the younger one sit next to him. At first, bot stood in complete silence and didn't said a word, but just continued smiling to each other, without saying a thing. "So, what you wanted to ask me?" Jinki asked, trying to end with the awkwardness between the two. Taemin looked to him and smiled weakly. He was nervous and he wasn't sure of what he should say. He just smiled and continued staring to the older one. Jinki hat to admit he was starting to get uncomfortable. "I wanted to ask you...what do you feel when you kiss Kibum-hyung?" Taemin asked and the older one raised a brow and couldn't help but feel his cheeks burn a little.
Both stood there looking at each other and Jinki was trying his remain to keep his posture. "W..:Well...how should I put this.." He made a pause and saw the younger one look at him with full attention. Taemin continued looking to him, waiting for the answer but for some reason it was taking too much to have it, but either way, he stood in complete silence, waiting. "When I kiss him I feel buterflies, and I just don't want to let go...I feel my cheeks burn, I feel my heart beating so fast I could swear I was going to have an heart attack...And when I wake up, the first thing I want to do is kiss him, and the last thing I do before I go to sleep..." Jinki said with a smile on his face. Taemin gave a small smile to the older man and nodded. Taemin didn't said a thing. He just continued listening to those words on his head and nothing else. "But why? Have you kissed someone?" Jinki asked and couldn't help but smirk a little. "You kissed Minho?" He asked. He always thought the magnae and the younger one had a thing going on. Taemin looked at him and smiled. "No...No! He and Jonghyun are the ones who are kissing!" Jinki was caught by surprised with the answer but just nodded.
The magnae looked down to his hands and got up from the couch. It was such a fast movement that made Jinki rather surprised. He looked to Taemin and wondered why he was acting like that. Usually the one who acted weird was Jonghyun! But then he saw Taemin turn and look at him. "Why do you kiss him?" The magnae asked and Jinki continued looking at him with a suspicious face. "Because I love him." Jinki answered honeslty and Taemin just continued nodding. He passed his thin fingers on his golden hair and then looked to Jinki, their eyes locking. The leader had no idea why the younger was asking those things. Usually those kind of conversations weren't with him! He wasn't really the one they should be talking about those things! "Why do you love him?" Taemin asked, his hands turning into fists behind his back and his legs shacking a little. He could feel his heart beating so fast, maybe a little way too fast, but he was trying his best to ignore it. "It's hard to explain...he's the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last before I sleep. I just want to spend all my time with him!" Jinki answered and was even more confused. He got up from the couch and continued staring at Taemin who wasn't acting like his usual self.
"Why are you asking me these things?" Jinki asked as he stepped closer to the magnae. Taemin looked to him and took a deep breath. He starting biting his lips and looked to the floor again. "I...I..." He was trying to answer but the wors wouldn't come out of him. He just continued looking to the floor. Jinki on the other hand, continued looking to Taemin and continued waiting for an answer. He saw Taemin look at him, his eyes becoming red. That made Jinki almost freak out. He always freaked out when someone cried. He would usually act silly to make them laugh, but he had no idea why Taemin was behaving like that! He had no idea of what he said to make Taemin like that. "I don't want you to love him!" Taemin said with a serious voice and Jinki had to admit he was surprised and wasn't expecting it. He continued looking to the younger one, but then he smiled. "Nice joke Min, nice joke! You caught me!" Jinki said and looked around. "You guys can come out, Taemin did what you wanted!"
Taemin continued looking at him with teary eyes and started looking down to his hands. "...It's not a joke!" Jinki heard and couldn't believe what he was hearing. He looked to the magnae and saw him cleaning his tears. He was trying his best not to cry, he really was, but it was stronger than him. And when Jinki thought it was a joke, it was like a dagger on his heart. He knew Jinki wasn't doing it on porpuse, it was just his personality, nothing else. "W...What?" Jinki asked, still not understanding. "I don't want you to love Kibum!" The magnae said with an angry tone. "I want you to love me! Me!" Taemin said and his eyes were screaming for Jinki to embrance him. But the older couldn't even find the strength to move his legs, or even a finger. He just continued looking to the blond man in front of him that looked like he was going to break any time soon."Taemin...I..." Taemin made a move to make the older spot speaking. "No! If you're going to say you just love me as a friend, forget it! I rather live in the ignorance an-"
"I wish you told me earlier." Jinki said with a serious face, stopping Taemin's speech. The younger felt his eyes open widely, and his mouth open as well. He felt his words stuck on his throat and didn't know what to say. He just continued looking to Jinki. "If you told me before...we...there would be a we...but now...it's too late." Jinki answered passing a hand through his hair and didn't said anything else. He looked to Taemin and saw the younger one covering his mouth, and his eyes were full of tears and he didn't know what to say. He just felt a huge pain on his chest. He wanted to run towards the older man. He wanted to do it so bad. And that was what he did. He ran towards the older man and held him really close. Jinki didn't know what to do. His mind was saying to back away, but he wanted to hold Taemin back so bad. "It's not late hyung...we..." Taemin started but the older pulled him away, both looking to each other. "We can't." He said and Jinki continued looking away. "...I love Kibum now...With all my heart." Taemin looked down to his feet and just allowed more tears to run down his cheeks. He knew his hyung was right. That was why it was so painful! He knew it, he always did. He saw the way Jinki looked to Kibum. He just wished it was him Jinki's eyes looked for on the performances. The way Jinki caressed Kibum's face, the way he kissed him, the way he held him...it should be Taemin, it should be him! "But...I love you hyung..." The leader smiled and cleaned the crystal tears coming from the younger one. "But it's too late Min...too late.