currently scared shitless
so, i am not one to frequent the doctor's office
in fact, i say away as much as possible.
it's just what i do.
but, i felt as though i finally had to go in, and get my boob checked out.
You see, I have this lump. I was told it was just dense tissue growth, and no problem.
That was a year ago- it's bigger now, and it hurts. So i finally bit the bullet, and went to my new doctor to talk about it. She checked it out and said 'it feels like a cyst, so it should be okay- however, due to the size and pain you're experiencing, I'm going to send you for an ultrasound- better to be safe than sorry". - this attitude, i love. My old doctor would say "I think it's just depression, would you like a prescription for some anti depressants?"
So, yesterday i went for my ultra sound.
A little embarassing to have gelly squeezed on my boob, and have the magic ultrasound wand swirled all over, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!
I tried being friendly to my "technition" and said "well, my doctor figured that it was a cyst, and that it was probably fine...she just wanted it double checked."
no sooner had the words left my mouth did she say "It isn't a cyst."
I shut up.
She explained to me that what I had was dense tissue, but that it had gone from being one little ball of dense tissue to being a cluster of little balls of dense tissue.
Now, i'm trying my damndest not to go apeshit and freak out, which i thought i was doing a quite good job at.
She said "so, you'll have to make an appointment for a biopsy" i was like "ok, sounds good to me"
i got outta there, made my appointment, and grabbed my boyfriend (who was waiting in the waiting room for me)
But as soon as i got outside, i started crying. What the HELL is wrong with my boob???????
So i get home, and start to look at the sheet i was given.
Yeah, well, WHO THE HELL KNEW THAT A BIOPSY INVOLVED A NEEDLE???????????
Well, i SURE as hell didn't. Now, i was fine with this whole biopsy situation until i found out what it really meant.
Let me tell you about me and needles: I practically faint at the idea of them- i can't get blood tests done because of the needles. I never donate blood because of the needles.
When i had my molars removed, i was tempted to tell the dentist that if she fucking stuck one more needle into my mouth, i would try it on her to see if she liked it.
Anyway- i'm petrified.
Needless (Needleless?) to say, I'm worried about what the results could be- i'm 99% sure it isn't cancerous, but i'm also starting to think that they are going to want to take it out.
And if they do that, my left boob will be half the size of my right one.
Not only that, but my summer work could be toast, and my last year of university, well, that won't be too much fun.
My mom, the sweetie that she is, said that if i did have to get it taken out, she'd buy me the best new boob i could have :D
anyway- that's my story. More later.
in fact, i say away as much as possible.
it's just what i do.
but, i felt as though i finally had to go in, and get my boob checked out.
You see, I have this lump. I was told it was just dense tissue growth, and no problem.
That was a year ago- it's bigger now, and it hurts. So i finally bit the bullet, and went to my new doctor to talk about it. She checked it out and said 'it feels like a cyst, so it should be okay- however, due to the size and pain you're experiencing, I'm going to send you for an ultrasound- better to be safe than sorry". - this attitude, i love. My old doctor would say "I think it's just depression, would you like a prescription for some anti depressants?"
So, yesterday i went for my ultra sound.
A little embarassing to have gelly squeezed on my boob, and have the magic ultrasound wand swirled all over, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do!
I tried being friendly to my "technition" and said "well, my doctor figured that it was a cyst, and that it was probably fine...she just wanted it double checked."
no sooner had the words left my mouth did she say "It isn't a cyst."
I shut up.
She explained to me that what I had was dense tissue, but that it had gone from being one little ball of dense tissue to being a cluster of little balls of dense tissue.
Now, i'm trying my damndest not to go apeshit and freak out, which i thought i was doing a quite good job at.
She said "so, you'll have to make an appointment for a biopsy" i was like "ok, sounds good to me"
i got outta there, made my appointment, and grabbed my boyfriend (who was waiting in the waiting room for me)
But as soon as i got outside, i started crying. What the HELL is wrong with my boob???????
So i get home, and start to look at the sheet i was given.
Yeah, well, WHO THE HELL KNEW THAT A BIOPSY INVOLVED A NEEDLE???????????
Well, i SURE as hell didn't. Now, i was fine with this whole biopsy situation until i found out what it really meant.
Let me tell you about me and needles: I practically faint at the idea of them- i can't get blood tests done because of the needles. I never donate blood because of the needles.
When i had my molars removed, i was tempted to tell the dentist that if she fucking stuck one more needle into my mouth, i would try it on her to see if she liked it.
Anyway- i'm petrified.
Needless (Needleless?) to say, I'm worried about what the results could be- i'm 99% sure it isn't cancerous, but i'm also starting to think that they are going to want to take it out.
And if they do that, my left boob will be half the size of my right one.
Not only that, but my summer work could be toast, and my last year of university, well, that won't be too much fun.
My mom, the sweetie that she is, said that if i did have to get it taken out, she'd buy me the best new boob i could have :D
anyway- that's my story. More later.