Feelings and their why of playing with me

[shuushuuryou]

This is the Crush Page, yeppers?
So I’ll go in order by long time ago to present. Right, Stapes? *nods to self*

1. Let’s call him Appendix because well everyone has one. A first crush I mean, with the confusion and the giggly ness. Mine’s just included notes and a mother who liked to laugh about it with his mother. No matters now because Appendix is no longer cute, I haven’t truly seen him since elementary school and I’m glad to have gotten that over with early.
2. Years later, you think with me going through puberty sorta early this would have happened early but it didn’t. Duodenum that will be his name, I hated him for around a year and a half, and then I went through confusion, denial, confession, finally a normal friendship. Weirdly enough, so I thank Thalamus & Phalanges in their girlyness with helping figure “yes, I liked the evil demon child” as I so gracefully decreed him.
3. Next one, I figured on my own surprisingly, he’s Pons and I have recently found out he’s still cute. Hardly knew him yet we had lunch together so I saw him every day. My advisors on this one were Amygdala, Hypocampus, and of course Phalanges who didn’t want to be left out even if she didn’t go to the same school as me. But all was for naught, even thou Hypocampus swore up and down Pons liked me too, and Amygdala helped me send my confession through a note; my cowardliness and awkwardness won and hid for the rest of the year I had at that school. Not that Phalanges advice to “just go up and kiss him” helped to make things better.
4. New school, new person, new name: Scapula. He was my first guy friend there and we had fun, really in a funny way. He'd steal my stuff, I'd chase him around, he'd tease me about everything, I'd hit him with anything I had on hand. It was childish but who cares. So Phalanges found out as she often does and I learned Scapula liked someone else, then he found out I liked him and just outright ignored. I was sad and tried to figure why the ignoring was occurring especially when there were times he'd stop, ignoring that is. But I never got my answer and I still haven't gotten my little green notebook back either. 
5. Temporal should count as four and half not really five for reasons I'm about to explain. Sooo Temporal was the half japanese half spanish kid in my french class, and that's like it but not really. I wanted his pants, not in a perverted sense and also his hoodies; they were so nice. He was rival when it came to Vocab puzzles even though we helped each other on the stupid one word no one could find. I thought he disliked me majorly, probably did at the beginning but that didn't stop me from chasing him around the class and trying to give him a hug. What can I say he smelt good. Towards the end of that year, I had realized something it was like a blast to the brain, 'Holy shiz, we're technically sorta flirting.' Yep, and I didn't really even noticed but I'm sure others did. Yet that school year ended and Temporal changed schools but every now and then me and Vertebrae will mention somehow and we'll curse him for leaving behind a horrible substitute.
6. Now the shock, Manubrium was a first. My first crush on a girl that is, and technically in my eyes my only so far. Manubrium is my friend and she will never know I had a crush on her. I don't know how it occurred but then again I don't know how any of my crushes do. She's nice and lets me hang out with her friends, some now my friends and we have fun together. She doesn't make it seem like she thinks I'm weird at all which is surprising. Also I think she's one of the prettiest people I know but lots of persons think that. I know lots of guys do, she's had bunches of boyfriends and she's tried to set me up before. It's siriusly funny, her trying to get through my social awkwardness. I'm just really glad the feelings moved on, I didn't need the oddness.
7. This one is awfully funny, now. Okay, so I ended up crushing next on Manubrium then boyfriend Conchae, weird right? I thought so, too. It's not like I liked Manubrium and was just channeling it to Conchae. I wasn't because I liked Conchae after they broke up still and it's not like I didn't like Manubrium because I started liking her before I even knew who Conchae was. So it was extremely bizarre but me and him ended up having a class together and started this half insulting half making fun of said class friendship. It helped that he was cute, but that was it and I was absolutely fine with it. Not like we hang out anytime outside class anyway.
8. Calcaneus wasn't a crush so he shouldn't be a number but he's needed on the list anyhow. He was my first boyfriend, at the age sixteen I dated a 14 year old who was only four months older then Cartilage. Phalanges probably thought it fit with my immaturity and all. at least he was nothing like Cartilage because that would have been creepy. But he was sweet and kind, and we got sorta pushed into the 'could be more than friends' column by a red-haired Goldilocks and her old-skool vampire then boyfriend on Halloween. We were together a month; in which I had my first kiss in a library study room, my first date, and succeeded in achieving the ultimate level of total freak out mode. I broke up with him through writing and it was for the best. If you know me well, you know it was no matter how much everyone wants to deny it. Yet we're sorta friends now, at least we say hi when we see each other and hug like people do.
9. Here goes my Asexual period, which I'm still going through according to how I see it. I've had enough of the annoyingness of crushes, the obliviousness of flirting, and the dependence of a significant other. I've tried it all and I want no more, truly. Sure, I still claim to love various Tv & anime/manga characters but that doesn't go against my thought of asexualness. Neither does the last part of this list-dodad.
10. These last two aren't crushes. They're more of a word I can't remember that doesn't sound creepy/stalkerish. Really the thought of them just float around my head with heed lately. I blame the yearbooks.

• Thalamus, yep her. I found her on Facebook after forever never seeing/hearing from. It's strange I was...am really happy I found her and that we've started talking to become a semblance of friends once again. But I think it's sorta different from before plus I realized that I never noticed before how really pretty she is. Oh well, I'll deal with this if it gets worse. Probably won't, it's just my growing up confusing me.
• Since I haven't acknowledged him in any way, shape, or form since elementary school; he gets to be known as Voldemort because he who will not be given a name makes me think Voldemort. Stupid yearbooks and their showing of people's current appearances. Idiot Mandible for confriming even more his hotness. Baka Palatine for mentioning him on the bus that day and how he somehow looks like he did but not in a really good way at the same time. You just had to know he's sister, didn't you! As can be read this is all strange and... Just wacko but I can't get over it. Stapes, why oh why are you a being of confusion?

The present has been reached, please exit the tram carefully.
Fly again soon, my shinys in jars.
That was slightly creepy, note to self: Get some well long due help.
Ruler of the persons in our heads, Stapes.