[fic+art] white wedding
claimed at bleach_15
Title: white wedding
Author: levy
beta: taoempress
Characters/Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei, Soifon
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
theme: #6- to protect
Author's note: this is the core of the tale. How it starts between them, at Kyoraku's wedding. Special thanks to inomuiro for suggestions and enjoying this story.
Many years later, in the Court of Pure Souls, people would to remember the celebration for Kyoraku taichou ‘s wedding as one of the main events that mined the kind of solemn quiet that was the world of semi-divine soldiers, after Aizen’s treason. Its attack to the sternness of the Soul Society army was performed with an unimaginable amount of delicious food, music, dance and rivers of sake; better than with bloody murder and conspiracy. But the effect was the same. One after another the members of the military elite. the Gotei 13, fell under the spell of a confusing hallucination and lost their self-consciousness, wrapped in the seductive perfumes and bright colors of that banquet of legendary proportions.
It had been Shunsui’s firm resolution ever since the day he had got his fukutaichou’s agreement to marry him to give a feast none will ever forget, and the final result do not disappoint his expectations. It was long past midnight, after Shunsui lost his hat to Yama-ji in the dice game that had become the main attraction of the late evening, when the couple decided to leave the party so that they could get some well deserved rest. The guests promptly protested with great energy, fueled more by the sake than by their own genuine disappointment, but Nanao’s delicate condition forced her to retire then, and Shunsui could only follow his spouse to their nuptial futon. Resigned to the fact that they were leaving no matter what and reassured by Shunsui’s permission to stay over as it pleased them, the guests gave another toast to the health and happiness of the couple and Rangiku bravely raised from her seat to kiss the bride goodnight. Juushiro would have gladly followed, but his concentration, or lack there of, would not allow him to stand up. However, Shunsui noticed as he wished him goodnight that his best friend and best man looked far healthier than he had been in the last twenty years, winking in an odd, embarrassing fashion as he helped Isane to keep her balance while he just attempted to move. Shunsui sighed and decided to abandon them all to their own fate. He and Nanao were practically the only ones sober in the whole lot. But from that moment on, he just wanted to share the remain of the night with the woman that had been his life-long mate, now his beloved wife.
When the couple left, the dice game started again with rejuvenated energy. In a breathtaking hand, Renji managed to win his taichou kenseikan, that Byakuya punctually removed from his noble head and threw them to his chipper subordinate with sickened scorn, much to the surprise of the other guests. Ikkaku encountered a worst luck since he tried to involve in a dice game his not-so-secret crush, the insensitive Nemu Kurotsuchi, with a sexy (at least that was the intent), drunken glance and a scarcely seductive offer - Ohi, chick, wanna play one round ’gainst mh-ee? - that she politely decline with a stern, almost blunt - No, thanks.
The second squad taichou, the stiff, algid Soifon, was not the least bit at ease in that loud, excited company. Her head was spinning from the considerable amount of sake she had thrown down her throat, and she was not used enough to it. Otherwise, the woman that was sitting in front of her, a brilliant smile irradiating from her perfect mouth to enlighten the dark gold of her eyes, seems to be perfectly fine and almost unaffected from the unbelievable number of toasts she had gladly joined that night. Her current occupation was to point out any shade of disappointment on Byakuya’s marble mask as Renji was dancing around with his delicious prey approximately stick onto his red hair, a mission she seemed to enjoy madly. Soi quickly drank another cup of sake, while Kira miserably lost all of his clothes to his merciless friends.
Many years had passed since they finally got to talk again, and many more since the day she let her down to follow the curse of his old friend, lover, whatever he was to her back there, Urahara Kisuke. Many years meant very little time in the life of a shinigami, and Soi knew it well. Things had changed a lot, and juvenile infatuations are known to die instead of growing if not well fed with a reciprocate feeling, something the current commander in chief of the Special Corps had never experienced. Even if they had managed to fix things to the point they were both able to behave as good, old friends, she was not comfortable at all around Yoruichi-sama, and that hint of uneasiness was getting worse and worse with every new sip of sake she took. Moreover, Soifon was not the kind to enjoy parties. Maybe, she ‘d be better off alone, and a breath of fresh hair could have help….
She had thought to leave the table, but she didn’t out of respect for the couple they were celebrating. She had all the time to regret her polite decision when it was Yoruichi’s turn to choose her opponent at the dice game. The dark skinned woman pointed her long finger to her former student and loudly declared - Soifon, I want to challenge your luck!
Soi knew she had lost the game even before throwing the dices, but Yoruichi played fair and greeted the news of her victory with a high, untactful scream of genuine joy. Soi quivered inside, but none seemed to notice, or at least Yoruichi did not. With that bright and amused smile of hers, she said - ah, Soifon, I didn’t remember your luck to be so bad, you lost 3 to 8 on me!
Soi summoned all her will to hint a pale resemblance of a smile and asked, weakly - what do you want from me ?
Yoruichi most probably didn’t even hear her question because she continued - ah, but no matter what you have to pay! - and pointed to her that long finger again, a finger that to Soi, the misery of not being good at drinking, she thought distractedly, looked more and more like a gun - I want one of your rings!
She felt the shot, but stood up instead of falling. Slowly, or at least she felt like she was barely moving, she unleashed the white bandages that kept the gold ring connected to her hair, and handed it to her former master, wearing a rough mask of cold indifference that misfit her face
- you won … - she said, barely opening her pale lips - ..excuse me, I need some fresh air…
She made her way out of the room unexpectedly fast and confidently, so fast that almost none of the drunken guests noticed she was leaving. But not Yoruichi. This time Yoruichi was forced to witness what she has deliberately ignored since that morning: it was not all over with Soi. Maybe she had been too careless, and even helped Soi to confuse her about what she actually felt for her, because ignorance was more comfortable for both of them. She had pretended that they both acted spontaneously as good, old friends, and behaved consequently, without minding too much about the other woman’s feelings. She just had wanted to believe that, whatever she had meant to her in the days she lived in the Court had been forgotten in the past. It has been many years ago. But she couldn’t ignore it for any longer...
Drop the alibis, she told to herself, you have made, as usual, the easiest choice… you ignored her feelings just because you don’t care. It was not true, nor completely false. She cared about Soi, she knew, but it was not enough. She looked at the golden ring she was holding and thought she did not deserve that winning.
-phew.. what a moron! - she boasted, trying to hold together the remains of her high spirits - such a skilled ninja and she’s not even able to tell when one is cheating at dice! -and she added, turning to the only one person that seemed to be listening - would you please hand this back to her ?
Shuuhei Hisagi took the gold ring from Yoruichi’s bronze palm and made his way to the door while another passionate game started in the main hall.
Soi wasn’t in the courtyard, nor in the passage, but Shuuhei didn’t expect to find her there. From the way she left, he could tell she had not even a vague intention to get back to the party at any time during that night. Dangerously wobbling, he made his way to the guest rooms the newlyweds had arranged for who wished to stay over till morning, or would be unable to crawl home at the end of the feast.
Soi was hidden in the dim light of the sixth room.
Shot at 1969-12-31
Shuuhei had seen her bare back a million times before, in the battlefield, but nothing before that nudity, forced by the peculiar release of her forceful kidou, had ever inspired in him something that almost resembled tenderness. He had seen that pale skin irradiating an amazing strength in the bright explosion of her power, but in that half light, that same skin seemed to him oddly vulnerable and defenseless.
He thought to leave, but didn't really want to.
Soi was laying motionless, he couldn't tell if she was really asleep. All he could see from the doorstep was the light spot of her bare shoulders in the darkness, and all that came into his mind is that he wanted to cover those shoulders, in that moment, in that place. Nothing else really mattered, and anyway, he was drunk enough to forget about the troublesome aftermath for a while. He unwrapped his head from Kira's waistband, which he had won in the dice game, and took a step inside the dense scent of cedar wood, incense and sake that filled the small room, closing the door behind him. He dropped the white bandage on a piece of furniture, probably a dresser, and went down the pockets of his hakama to find the gold ring that he was supposed to return her, intent on leaving afterwards. Inside the room it was dark enough to make his head spin critically, but he felt more lucid and more aware of what he was about to do than he expected. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the light shape of Soi's naked back emerged again from the shadows, clearer and clearer with every faster pound of his heart.
He dropped the gold ring on the white band and came closer.
Soi wasn't asleep, nor dead. She wished, maybe. She wished it was all over, or at least that awful night. Or in a more realistic perspective, she merely wished that her head would stop spinning. She did not feel any alarm as she sensed him coming closer. There was someone stroking her and whispering her name, but she didn't care at all. instead of waking her up, those strokes were making her fall deeper and deeper into a state of half-consciousness that felt like bliss. He could feel her pleased reaction to his touch and drew his mouth to the fine surface of her shoulders as she leaned on him more and more, searching for contact. Something was hurting down in her throat, her chest, her stomach and further below, and she just wanted it to stop. Shuuhei felt her call and kissed at her neck again, her back, her forehead, her hair, her back once again, slowly increasing the depth of his caresses. He did not kiss her mouth because it was unnecessary and unrequited. He knew Soi didn't even know it was him, and didn't give a damn that he was actually the one rubbing her skinny breast, her tensed tights, or the one kissing her neck and her eyelashes. And when she hastily caught his hand to lead it down her belly, he draw back his hips from her back so that she wouldn't feel him at all while he dig inside her clumsy, somber desire, dragging away sorrow, frustration and what else he could barely imagine, with every excited breath, with every shiver, every moan from her chest, trying to play in her the best music his skilled hands were able to play, but Soi was not there to listen, just wanted everything to sink down in that primary, animalistic pleasure his whole body screamed for, and for all her loneliness and anger to vaporize in the heat raising from her insides, crawling down her spine, roaring up her throat in one unique sigh of sickened rapture as his hands rubbed away from her everything that was rotting inside her, one grasp after another, until she felt totally empty and relieved from that weight that was oppressing her from a long, long time back….
She was fast asleep, laying against the warm presence that was holding her in his arms, just half wrapped in her hakama. Shuuhei tried his best to reach a blanket without waking her up, but it was almost impossible, so he resigned to shelter her from the cold only with his body. Like he hadn't done that from the very start… it was not sake, nor his just half-fulfilled libido that kept him awake, in that smell of cedar wood, incense and her. It was something deeper, something harsh, spoiled and bitter. Not even his long experience of cathouses could help him to figure out how it was possible to make love to someone, yet remain as lonely as she was.
An awkward glance and some nervous apologies were there to wake him up at dawn. Not that he was waiting for something else. While she tried to put together some kind of unclaimed justification, he rolled on his back under the fair blanket - he didn't remember to have fallen asleep under a blanket- and rubbed some sleep out of his eyes. A foggy sun was crawling up the milky surface of the blinds.
- Hush… - he said quietly, staring at the roof - everybody knows I'm this easy…
- But what we did was… horrible… and.. I…
- You shouldn't worry this much … - he said, turning to face her. From the way she was looking at him, it seemed that Soi would have rather been smacked than reassured. He could tell she was really feeling horrible about the whole thing, but the way she was torturing her hands and avoiding his eyes made her look more desirable than ever to him. He leaned on his elbow and came closer to whisper on her ear, on her cheek , on her mouth - I tell you it's all right… - he expected Soi to pull back, but she didn't. He could almost sense her breath grow deeper - I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it… there's nothing to worry about - his words had become just one soft, warm whisper on her skin, and still she wasn't backing away - … I know you wanted it, and me as well… it's all right…
Indeed Shuuhei was easy. Not that he didn't care about feelings, but he used to think about a brisk fuck as being something that was both healthy and good for the body and the mind. And honestly, he had only been in love just once or twice in his long life. He knew, like the majority of adults, that sex can be used as a weapon, as a source of power, to eke out a living, that it is a nice way to keep people connected, and a wonderful way to lie. But that morning, he was not thinking on this multiple functionalities of making love while he unwrapped the crumpled fabric of his kimono on Soifon's heated skin. He just wanted her, and from the way she reached for his mouth to draw him in an exalted, feverish kiss, he thought she felt just the same. He should have figured out what he was going to find at the bottom of her twisted sense of loyalty from the strange, awkward touch she used to unfasten his hakama and slide her hands around him. But the electric sparkles and violent rushes of blood that those inexperienced strokes sent to his brain were enough to make him forgetful. He made his way through the layers of clothing that were separating them and drove a hand to her, but she held him closer, wanting, needing. So, he was bewildered to realize that the quivers that shook her whole body as he sank deeper and deeper inside her was actually pain, and it hurt him back, he couldn't tell what exactly it was, but he felt it as if he had just been equally violated. Soi felt him pause with a deep sigh, her eyelids firmly locked, and then Shuuhei knew he had no choice. Leaving would have only hurt her more, and make him feel even more miserable, so he summoned all the experience of the seasoned whore he felt in that moment to make the lady enjoy the first dance, or, at least, not to leave her with another awful memory to drink away. She tried to say something, but he shut her mouth with a kiss and started again, giving her time to adjust to his rhythm and learn how to feel something else other pain and that sickening sense of guilt that had driven her that far. It worked better than they both assumed, and when he pulled out of her, that sickness was almost gone, replaced with some kind of tenderness, intimacy maybe.
-… I… I should have told you.. - she said after a while, her voice fickle. Her eyes were still filled with some kind of remorse, but at least he was looking at him, he noticed. Strangely, this made his rage heat up again - Yes, you should have. I didn't need any payback - he replied bitterly.
- It wasn't payback - she answered, slightly offended. Anger melt away as his left hand raise to cuddle her head on his chest. Troublesome reaction, he mentally pointed out, but he was perfectly aware it was pretty much too late for a counterattack at his twisted taste for odd crushes.
-ok, let's stop it . I think we're done already with drama…
It was short and frank, as he used to speak, but he said it softly, and she felt that shade of affection. He thought to ask playfully that she had better start think of paying him back with a dinner or something, but held his tongue and just wait for another time and another place to ask her out. Stroking her short black hair, he thought that feeling her body relax against him, a body incredibly small for her deadly combat skills, and having her light weight on his chest was, for the moment, good enough.
Maybe it was because of that absurd, incoherent prudery of her that was starting to thrill him - pervert, he smacked himself mentally - that she waited for him to get dressed again before rising from the blankets to put her own clothes on. The last glance he had of her inside that small room, where all the scent of cedar wood and incense was almost gone, was her bare shoulders in the chill morning light as she was fastening the band of her kimono. They didn't look vulnerable at all then, but still, that slight ache in his guts at their sight was an even too clear sign that his will to cover her back wasn't gone at all, and maybe was transformed in one even more annoying claim for general protection.
- Guess it can't be helped… - he murmured while, with a sigh of ineluctability, he drew a hand at the gold ring and quickly hide it away inside his black robe before leaving.
*kenseikan - attribute of nobility, Byakuya uses to wear it on his head. *hakama - lower piece of the shinigami standard uniform.
Title: white wedding
Author: levy
beta: taoempress
Characters/Pairing: Hisagi Shuuhei, Soifon
Rating/Warnings: PG-13
theme: #6- to protect
Author's note: this is the core of the tale. How it starts between them, at Kyoraku's wedding. Special thanks to inomuiro for suggestions and enjoying this story.
Many years later, in the Court of Pure Souls, people would to remember the celebration for Kyoraku taichou ‘s wedding as one of the main events that mined the kind of solemn quiet that was the world of semi-divine soldiers, after Aizen’s treason. Its attack to the sternness of the Soul Society army was performed with an unimaginable amount of delicious food, music, dance and rivers of sake; better than with bloody murder and conspiracy. But the effect was the same. One after another the members of the military elite. the Gotei 13, fell under the spell of a confusing hallucination and lost their self-consciousness, wrapped in the seductive perfumes and bright colors of that banquet of legendary proportions.
It had been Shunsui’s firm resolution ever since the day he had got his fukutaichou’s agreement to marry him to give a feast none will ever forget, and the final result do not disappoint his expectations. It was long past midnight, after Shunsui lost his hat to Yama-ji in the dice game that had become the main attraction of the late evening, when the couple decided to leave the party so that they could get some well deserved rest. The guests promptly protested with great energy, fueled more by the sake than by their own genuine disappointment, but Nanao’s delicate condition forced her to retire then, and Shunsui could only follow his spouse to their nuptial futon. Resigned to the fact that they were leaving no matter what and reassured by Shunsui’s permission to stay over as it pleased them, the guests gave another toast to the health and happiness of the couple and Rangiku bravely raised from her seat to kiss the bride goodnight. Juushiro would have gladly followed, but his concentration, or lack there of, would not allow him to stand up. However, Shunsui noticed as he wished him goodnight that his best friend and best man looked far healthier than he had been in the last twenty years, winking in an odd, embarrassing fashion as he helped Isane to keep her balance while he just attempted to move. Shunsui sighed and decided to abandon them all to their own fate. He and Nanao were practically the only ones sober in the whole lot. But from that moment on, he just wanted to share the remain of the night with the woman that had been his life-long mate, now his beloved wife.
When the couple left, the dice game started again with rejuvenated energy. In a breathtaking hand, Renji managed to win his taichou kenseikan, that Byakuya punctually removed from his noble head and threw them to his chipper subordinate with sickened scorn, much to the surprise of the other guests. Ikkaku encountered a worst luck since he tried to involve in a dice game his not-so-secret crush, the insensitive Nemu Kurotsuchi, with a sexy (at least that was the intent), drunken glance and a scarcely seductive offer - Ohi, chick, wanna play one round ’gainst mh-ee? - that she politely decline with a stern, almost blunt - No, thanks.
The second squad taichou, the stiff, algid Soifon, was not the least bit at ease in that loud, excited company. Her head was spinning from the considerable amount of sake she had thrown down her throat, and she was not used enough to it. Otherwise, the woman that was sitting in front of her, a brilliant smile irradiating from her perfect mouth to enlighten the dark gold of her eyes, seems to be perfectly fine and almost unaffected from the unbelievable number of toasts she had gladly joined that night. Her current occupation was to point out any shade of disappointment on Byakuya’s marble mask as Renji was dancing around with his delicious prey approximately stick onto his red hair, a mission she seemed to enjoy madly. Soi quickly drank another cup of sake, while Kira miserably lost all of his clothes to his merciless friends.
Many years had passed since they finally got to talk again, and many more since the day she let her down to follow the curse of his old friend, lover, whatever he was to her back there, Urahara Kisuke. Many years meant very little time in the life of a shinigami, and Soi knew it well. Things had changed a lot, and juvenile infatuations are known to die instead of growing if not well fed with a reciprocate feeling, something the current commander in chief of the Special Corps had never experienced. Even if they had managed to fix things to the point they were both able to behave as good, old friends, she was not comfortable at all around Yoruichi-sama, and that hint of uneasiness was getting worse and worse with every new sip of sake she took. Moreover, Soifon was not the kind to enjoy parties. Maybe, she ‘d be better off alone, and a breath of fresh hair could have help….
She had thought to leave the table, but she didn’t out of respect for the couple they were celebrating. She had all the time to regret her polite decision when it was Yoruichi’s turn to choose her opponent at the dice game. The dark skinned woman pointed her long finger to her former student and loudly declared - Soifon, I want to challenge your luck!
Soi knew she had lost the game even before throwing the dices, but Yoruichi played fair and greeted the news of her victory with a high, untactful scream of genuine joy. Soi quivered inside, but none seemed to notice, or at least Yoruichi did not. With that bright and amused smile of hers, she said - ah, Soifon, I didn’t remember your luck to be so bad, you lost 3 to 8 on me!
Soi summoned all her will to hint a pale resemblance of a smile and asked, weakly - what do you want from me ?
Yoruichi most probably didn’t even hear her question because she continued - ah, but no matter what you have to pay! - and pointed to her that long finger again, a finger that to Soi, the misery of not being good at drinking, she thought distractedly, looked more and more like a gun - I want one of your rings!
She felt the shot, but stood up instead of falling. Slowly, or at least she felt like she was barely moving, she unleashed the white bandages that kept the gold ring connected to her hair, and handed it to her former master, wearing a rough mask of cold indifference that misfit her face
- you won … - she said, barely opening her pale lips - ..excuse me, I need some fresh air…
She made her way out of the room unexpectedly fast and confidently, so fast that almost none of the drunken guests noticed she was leaving. But not Yoruichi. This time Yoruichi was forced to witness what she has deliberately ignored since that morning: it was not all over with Soi. Maybe she had been too careless, and even helped Soi to confuse her about what she actually felt for her, because ignorance was more comfortable for both of them. She had pretended that they both acted spontaneously as good, old friends, and behaved consequently, without minding too much about the other woman’s feelings. She just had wanted to believe that, whatever she had meant to her in the days she lived in the Court had been forgotten in the past. It has been many years ago. But she couldn’t ignore it for any longer...
Drop the alibis, she told to herself, you have made, as usual, the easiest choice… you ignored her feelings just because you don’t care. It was not true, nor completely false. She cared about Soi, she knew, but it was not enough. She looked at the golden ring she was holding and thought she did not deserve that winning.
-phew.. what a moron! - she boasted, trying to hold together the remains of her high spirits - such a skilled ninja and she’s not even able to tell when one is cheating at dice! -and she added, turning to the only one person that seemed to be listening - would you please hand this back to her ?
Shuuhei Hisagi took the gold ring from Yoruichi’s bronze palm and made his way to the door while another passionate game started in the main hall.
Soi wasn’t in the courtyard, nor in the passage, but Shuuhei didn’t expect to find her there. From the way she left, he could tell she had not even a vague intention to get back to the party at any time during that night. Dangerously wobbling, he made his way to the guest rooms the newlyweds had arranged for who wished to stay over till morning, or would be unable to crawl home at the end of the feast.
Soi was hidden in the dim light of the sixth room.
Shot at 1969-12-31
Shuuhei had seen her bare back a million times before, in the battlefield, but nothing before that nudity, forced by the peculiar release of her forceful kidou, had ever inspired in him something that almost resembled tenderness. He had seen that pale skin irradiating an amazing strength in the bright explosion of her power, but in that half light, that same skin seemed to him oddly vulnerable and defenseless.
He thought to leave, but didn't really want to.
Soi was laying motionless, he couldn't tell if she was really asleep. All he could see from the doorstep was the light spot of her bare shoulders in the darkness, and all that came into his mind is that he wanted to cover those shoulders, in that moment, in that place. Nothing else really mattered, and anyway, he was drunk enough to forget about the troublesome aftermath for a while. He unwrapped his head from Kira's waistband, which he had won in the dice game, and took a step inside the dense scent of cedar wood, incense and sake that filled the small room, closing the door behind him. He dropped the white bandage on a piece of furniture, probably a dresser, and went down the pockets of his hakama to find the gold ring that he was supposed to return her, intent on leaving afterwards. Inside the room it was dark enough to make his head spin critically, but he felt more lucid and more aware of what he was about to do than he expected. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, the light shape of Soi's naked back emerged again from the shadows, clearer and clearer with every faster pound of his heart.
He dropped the gold ring on the white band and came closer.
Soi wasn't asleep, nor dead. She wished, maybe. She wished it was all over, or at least that awful night. Or in a more realistic perspective, she merely wished that her head would stop spinning. She did not feel any alarm as she sensed him coming closer. There was someone stroking her and whispering her name, but she didn't care at all. instead of waking her up, those strokes were making her fall deeper and deeper into a state of half-consciousness that felt like bliss. He could feel her pleased reaction to his touch and drew his mouth to the fine surface of her shoulders as she leaned on him more and more, searching for contact. Something was hurting down in her throat, her chest, her stomach and further below, and she just wanted it to stop. Shuuhei felt her call and kissed at her neck again, her back, her forehead, her hair, her back once again, slowly increasing the depth of his caresses. He did not kiss her mouth because it was unnecessary and unrequited. He knew Soi didn't even know it was him, and didn't give a damn that he was actually the one rubbing her skinny breast, her tensed tights, or the one kissing her neck and her eyelashes. And when she hastily caught his hand to lead it down her belly, he draw back his hips from her back so that she wouldn't feel him at all while he dig inside her clumsy, somber desire, dragging away sorrow, frustration and what else he could barely imagine, with every excited breath, with every shiver, every moan from her chest, trying to play in her the best music his skilled hands were able to play, but Soi was not there to listen, just wanted everything to sink down in that primary, animalistic pleasure his whole body screamed for, and for all her loneliness and anger to vaporize in the heat raising from her insides, crawling down her spine, roaring up her throat in one unique sigh of sickened rapture as his hands rubbed away from her everything that was rotting inside her, one grasp after another, until she felt totally empty and relieved from that weight that was oppressing her from a long, long time back….
She was fast asleep, laying against the warm presence that was holding her in his arms, just half wrapped in her hakama. Shuuhei tried his best to reach a blanket without waking her up, but it was almost impossible, so he resigned to shelter her from the cold only with his body. Like he hadn't done that from the very start… it was not sake, nor his just half-fulfilled libido that kept him awake, in that smell of cedar wood, incense and her. It was something deeper, something harsh, spoiled and bitter. Not even his long experience of cathouses could help him to figure out how it was possible to make love to someone, yet remain as lonely as she was.
An awkward glance and some nervous apologies were there to wake him up at dawn. Not that he was waiting for something else. While she tried to put together some kind of unclaimed justification, he rolled on his back under the fair blanket - he didn't remember to have fallen asleep under a blanket- and rubbed some sleep out of his eyes. A foggy sun was crawling up the milky surface of the blinds.
- Hush… - he said quietly, staring at the roof - everybody knows I'm this easy…
- But what we did was… horrible… and.. I…
- You shouldn't worry this much … - he said, turning to face her. From the way she was looking at him, it seemed that Soi would have rather been smacked than reassured. He could tell she was really feeling horrible about the whole thing, but the way she was torturing her hands and avoiding his eyes made her look more desirable than ever to him. He leaned on his elbow and came closer to whisper on her ear, on her cheek , on her mouth - I tell you it's all right… - he expected Soi to pull back, but she didn't. He could almost sense her breath grow deeper - I enjoyed it, you enjoyed it… there's nothing to worry about - his words had become just one soft, warm whisper on her skin, and still she wasn't backing away - … I know you wanted it, and me as well… it's all right…
Indeed Shuuhei was easy. Not that he didn't care about feelings, but he used to think about a brisk fuck as being something that was both healthy and good for the body and the mind. And honestly, he had only been in love just once or twice in his long life. He knew, like the majority of adults, that sex can be used as a weapon, as a source of power, to eke out a living, that it is a nice way to keep people connected, and a wonderful way to lie. But that morning, he was not thinking on this multiple functionalities of making love while he unwrapped the crumpled fabric of his kimono on Soifon's heated skin. He just wanted her, and from the way she reached for his mouth to draw him in an exalted, feverish kiss, he thought she felt just the same. He should have figured out what he was going to find at the bottom of her twisted sense of loyalty from the strange, awkward touch she used to unfasten his hakama and slide her hands around him. But the electric sparkles and violent rushes of blood that those inexperienced strokes sent to his brain were enough to make him forgetful. He made his way through the layers of clothing that were separating them and drove a hand to her, but she held him closer, wanting, needing. So, he was bewildered to realize that the quivers that shook her whole body as he sank deeper and deeper inside her was actually pain, and it hurt him back, he couldn't tell what exactly it was, but he felt it as if he had just been equally violated. Soi felt him pause with a deep sigh, her eyelids firmly locked, and then Shuuhei knew he had no choice. Leaving would have only hurt her more, and make him feel even more miserable, so he summoned all the experience of the seasoned whore he felt in that moment to make the lady enjoy the first dance, or, at least, not to leave her with another awful memory to drink away. She tried to say something, but he shut her mouth with a kiss and started again, giving her time to adjust to his rhythm and learn how to feel something else other pain and that sickening sense of guilt that had driven her that far. It worked better than they both assumed, and when he pulled out of her, that sickness was almost gone, replaced with some kind of tenderness, intimacy maybe.
-… I… I should have told you.. - she said after a while, her voice fickle. Her eyes were still filled with some kind of remorse, but at least he was looking at him, he noticed. Strangely, this made his rage heat up again - Yes, you should have. I didn't need any payback - he replied bitterly.
- It wasn't payback - she answered, slightly offended. Anger melt away as his left hand raise to cuddle her head on his chest. Troublesome reaction, he mentally pointed out, but he was perfectly aware it was pretty much too late for a counterattack at his twisted taste for odd crushes.
-ok, let's stop it . I think we're done already with drama…
It was short and frank, as he used to speak, but he said it softly, and she felt that shade of affection. He thought to ask playfully that she had better start think of paying him back with a dinner or something, but held his tongue and just wait for another time and another place to ask her out. Stroking her short black hair, he thought that feeling her body relax against him, a body incredibly small for her deadly combat skills, and having her light weight on his chest was, for the moment, good enough.
Maybe it was because of that absurd, incoherent prudery of her that was starting to thrill him - pervert, he smacked himself mentally - that she waited for him to get dressed again before rising from the blankets to put her own clothes on. The last glance he had of her inside that small room, where all the scent of cedar wood and incense was almost gone, was her bare shoulders in the chill morning light as she was fastening the band of her kimono. They didn't look vulnerable at all then, but still, that slight ache in his guts at their sight was an even too clear sign that his will to cover her back wasn't gone at all, and maybe was transformed in one even more annoying claim for general protection.
- Guess it can't be helped… - he murmured while, with a sigh of ineluctability, he drew a hand at the gold ring and quickly hide it away inside his black robe before leaving.
*kenseikan - attribute of nobility, Byakuya uses to wear it on his head. *hakama - lower piece of the shinigami standard uniform.