forty-three beers

Jul 22, 2009 18:52

You ever started to get the feeling that your life is a joke? Not just any joke, but a very specific joke on you made to make you feel like you're nothing but a giant tool and people suck and you can't trust anybody to tell you the truth so you may as well get really drunk and listen to Kashmir on repeat all night because it'll be just as ( Read more... )

dad, dean hates demons, didn't deserve to go to hell, didn't deserve to die, don't suffer from alcoholism enjoy it, what the fuck seriously, our lives are weird, dean hates bitches, dean hates witches, anything but the face, what is and what should never be, hunting, deep-seated issues, black-eyed skank, sammy, dean likes beer, emotional constipation, bela fucking talbot, don't even like to be singled out, dean hates angels, strap your party hat on, don't fudge with me

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:06:36 UTC
You're upset he didn't tell you?

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:07:53 UTC
Of course I'm upset he didn't tell me.

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:09:00 UTC
What would you have done?

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:10:27 UTC
What do you mean, what would I have done?

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:13:36 UTC
Had you known he existed, what would you have done then?

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:15:27 UTC
Nothing.

But I sure as hell would've thought twice about what I was doing in the first place.

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:29:17 UTC
Then what would the difference really have been?

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:32:14 UTC
He made me feel like I was protecting something. All I was doing was being turned into a guard dog. He never wanted to protect Sam.

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:35:46 UTC
What your father wanted and what you want are two separate things.

As I asked, what would the difference be? Your feelings toward Sam will always be your own.

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:37:42 UTC
This isn't about my feelings toward my brother.

It's about how you can't ask questions to a dead man.

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:39:36 UTC
[ pause ]

What would you ask him?

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:43:20 UTC
How he can say, to my face, that figuring out what happened to mom was the only thing that mattered when the truth is, he was off somewhere screwing some woman and playing at being normal while I was at home making sure my brother knew how to dress himself decent.

You're not even human. You wouldn't understand.

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:49:20 UTC
Do you think that certain actions of yours are any different from his? Do you believe that, had you the opportunity, you wouldn't have searched for your own reprieves, just as he did?

I may not be human, Dean, but your father was. As are you.

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private; shutupsammy July 22 2009, 23:50:09 UTC
A family on the side isn't a reprieve, Cas! It's a Jerry Springer special!

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private; ordered July 22 2009, 23:59:01 UTC
It was a life free of hunting.

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private; shutupsammy July 23 2009, 00:42:01 UTC
And it should've stayed that way. Doesn't change the fact that he screwed up and he never told me and he never told Sam.

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