its all downhill from here...from here, it only gets better...
sometimes i get this feelings of unfaltering courage. like i could face anything. like my heart could handle anything. like today.
lauren came to st augustine to see me today... all the way from elustrious palatka FL. even if she doubts it, she made my day. before she came, i was so nervous that shed come and be all broken and sad and i wouldnt be able to do a damn thing. but she shows up and is all smiles right from the start. right from the get-go she glows that same old glow (a bit incomplete but still the same)... theres not SHIT to do in this fucking town on a rainy day, but we shared some good ass smiles doing nothing. we decorated Backstreets Cafe with our bodies, walked St George street, she bought some BAD ASS gifts (eat your heart out victor lewis), went to a music store so i could buy Our Lady Peace for me and the roomies, stole some useless shit from WalMart, and then walked down Vilano beach staring out on the oncoming rain. I havent been so happy to just be driving in sooo long. .....but anyway, when we talked she brought up problems that shes been living through lately... the whole time i had this courage, this strenght in me that made me feel so capable of helping her through it all...or at least able to give her my all to help her as much as possible. and it lasted through til tonight. i know i can help her. i know my strength will be enough for her whenever she needs it.
but when it somes to my own life, when i think about what im living through, i feel helpless. i feel hopeless and im becoming numb.
i just hope this feeling doesnt fade. i want to be her friends and fallback. i want to be the guardian of my friends. i want to earn their friendship by paying them with smiles...especially those who are lacking smiles.
all i need now is a wish to come true. one i made about a month ago. ...she deserves it, she needs it.
sweet dreams, dont let the world taint your dreams...
lauren came to st augustine to see me today... all the way from elustrious palatka FL. even if she doubts it, she made my day. before she came, i was so nervous that shed come and be all broken and sad and i wouldnt be able to do a damn thing. but she shows up and is all smiles right from the start. right from the get-go she glows that same old glow (a bit incomplete but still the same)... theres not SHIT to do in this fucking town on a rainy day, but we shared some good ass smiles doing nothing. we decorated Backstreets Cafe with our bodies, walked St George street, she bought some BAD ASS gifts (eat your heart out victor lewis), went to a music store so i could buy Our Lady Peace for me and the roomies, stole some useless shit from WalMart, and then walked down Vilano beach staring out on the oncoming rain. I havent been so happy to just be driving in sooo long. .....but anyway, when we talked she brought up problems that shes been living through lately... the whole time i had this courage, this strenght in me that made me feel so capable of helping her through it all...or at least able to give her my all to help her as much as possible. and it lasted through til tonight. i know i can help her. i know my strength will be enough for her whenever she needs it.
but when it somes to my own life, when i think about what im living through, i feel helpless. i feel hopeless and im becoming numb.
i just hope this feeling doesnt fade. i want to be her friends and fallback. i want to be the guardian of my friends. i want to earn their friendship by paying them with smiles...especially those who are lacking smiles.
all i need now is a wish to come true. one i made about a month ago. ...she deserves it, she needs it.
sweet dreams, dont let the world taint your dreams...