Knight.

[shutuplove]

Exchange a couple messages late Sunday night (I message him. "I like long walks on strawberry's and eating chocolate covered beaches"). We're both going to bed soon, so as to not make things pointless he asks for my facebook info. I would have turned down anyone else, but for some reason, with him, it felt right. We fb chat. I give him my number. We txt a bunch. We txt all day the next day. We txt all day the day after that. We txt all day the day after that one too. We talk on the phone for 2.5 hours that night, Wednesday. We want to see each other soon. I only work til 6PM the next day, Thursday, which is rare. I wish he wasn't working that night. He gets cut from work only a couple hours into his shift, around 7:30. I end hang outs with Caitlin earlier than I would have otherwise. It's bullshit outside. Raining. Really cold. I catch the bus to Burlington at 9PM. I managed to not get lost. I got off at Mapleview and he gets a cab there to meet me. He steps out of the cab, looks at me, smiles, says "Hey! get in!", or something along those lines. I am not disappointed. He tries to talk during the cab ride. He's clearly nervous, even though he said he wouldn't be. He's worse than I am. He's fidgety. It's a short drive. We get to his building. I tell him to stop being nervous and stuff and he says "Sorry! I don't know why I'm like this!". I give him a hug. He's fidgety in the elevator. We get inside and he starts getting better. He gives me dry socks. We get high and smoke cigarettes. We sit on the couch, not touching. We watch Madagascar, which is terrible. We go out for a smoke and he asks me if I'd thought about kissing at all. He says he had a little, and I said "You weren't even touching me!" he says "I know! I didn't know what you were feeling...". I say "But you said you'd be able to tell right away." He says "Apparently I was wrong." We cuddle. He asks me again, in a bit, if I'd though about kissing. I say that I have. We kiss. We make out. He's a really good kisser. His mom gets home and we chat for a bit, and then she goes to bed. He was going to drive me home, using her car, but it gets really late, and he asks if I want to stay over instead. We go to bed. We make out, for hours. And hours. We resist going much further. He intends on driving me home early, but I suggest we hang out for the day and I just bus home later. We sleep around 5AM. He gets up around 11AM. I wake up as he's getting up. He leaves his room, brushes his teeth, talks to his mom for a bit. He later tells me she was kinda "WTFZ" over the fact that I stayed over, but shes pretty cool about it. He tells her he likes me. They make us pancakes for breakfast, served with strawberries and pineapple. Mmmm. His mom hangs around for a couple hours and then goes to work. He and I get high again, smoke more cigarettes. We talk about going out and doing things, but we just chill on the couch all day. And make out. A lot. He makes us little pizzas for dinner. I get a cab to Mapleview and then catch the bus home, well, to work, for 7:30PM, though of course I get there and the boss doesn't want me to start for another hour and a half, and expected me to somehow know this already. (Matt was waiting at the same bus stop as me. My hands were shaking. I had to say Hi. We chatted, we sat next to each other on the bus. It was pretty alright actually, but ANYWAY...)
Hjeaiojgajghawopgpwa. Butterflies. His eyes, his lips, his smile. Uhg. He's so not my type, but I'm totally attracted to him. The way he touches me, teases me, is strong with me, can handle me, likes me, isn't scared of me, doesn't think I'm crazy, compliments me, makes me feel wanted. He makes me feel wanted. He says the things I've always wanted guys to say. He misses me. He wants me. He likes me. He thinks I'm beautiful. It's something, for sure. I hope it goes well. It feels really good right now. Who'da fuckin thunk.