Wow, crappy end to a nice day.
I just got back from a birthday meal with my two older nephews, my younger brother, his SO and my dad. B, the oldest nephew has applied go to Anarctica and should hear this week if he's been accepted. I'm so excited for him! We were celebrating J's 21st birthday and he's always a pleasure. I can't remember exactly how old my 'baby' brother is, but he probably doesn't want me to. Anyway, a very good time was had by all .
My dad had picked me up and on the way back home, he broke the news to me. My sis-in-law doesn't want her son, my youngest nephew around me. She doesn't feel my language is 'age appropriate' around him. Apparently his father, my other brother, is in agreement.
Now, it's not as if I drop the F-bomb around T and I guess it's more about the subject matter. Apparently, I mentioned something about 'icky surgery'. Geez, I don't even recall what that might have been. Could have been about my shoulder, but who knows? I know I haven't discussed sex, either, since I certainly wouldn't talk about that in a roomful of male relatives. See, I'm the only female in my family. My mother died five or so years ago, both my parents were only children and my brother has three sons. He's divorced from both his wives.
What really sucked about the whole thing was that they put my dad in the awkward position of telling me. He's an old man, totally devoted to his youngest grandchild and was deprived of his company today because my sis-in-law didn't want him to be around me. In a restaurant, with the rest of his family around him. I mean, even if I was a raving lunatic, how much damage could I do?
I'm sorry, but that was dirty pool. If either she or my brother has a problem with me, they could damn well pick up the telephone and tell me themselves. What a pair of chicken-shits! I know, I'm not making a very good case for myself in using that kind of language here, but it really pisses me off. I'm my father's only daughter and he had to basically tell me that I'm no longer welcome at family gatherings. Or, I can come, but then T can't come.
And yeah, it makes me feel like one of those skeevy aunts or uncles we might remember from our own former childhoods.
I'm offended to the bone. I told my dad that I can't remember ever saying anything all that 'age inappropriate' and he pretty much agreed, other than one or two isolated incidents over the years. But even under those circumstances, I wasn't the one who instigated the topic. Hey, there were teenaged boys involved too, and sometimes their bathroom humor put me off a bit, but hey, I guess that's okay.
Anyway, dad was pretty bummed, because when he said something about '...in the future', I cut him off and said, "Oh, hey, there is no future - I don't need to be told twice that I'm not welcome." A few minutes later I said that I'd get over it. He looked over at me and said, "No, you won't." And he's right, I won't.
And I already know that he won't defend me. He never has. T is his main concern and he even said that he had to make a lot of compromises and put up with a lot in order to be able to continue to see T. Not to mention provide free day care for sis-in-law, who is a partner in a CPA firm and definately not hurting for money. That's always pissed me off, too.
I did tell my dad that while I was upset by sis-in-law and brother passing judgement on me, what really upset me was that they put Dad in the middle of it. That's *so* not fair to him.
In a small way, I guess I'm relieved. I'd really been trying to become closer to my remaining family and now I don't have to bother. I thought we'd made a lot of headway, but I guess I was wrong. I won't have to spend a pile of money to buy Christmas gifts for them, only to receive cheap crap in return. I won't have to beg off other holidays and events with them.
So yeah, fairly shitty way to end the weekend.
Skeevy aunt over and out :/
My dad had picked me up and on the way back home, he broke the news to me. My sis-in-law doesn't want her son, my youngest nephew around me. She doesn't feel my language is 'age appropriate' around him. Apparently his father, my other brother, is in agreement.
Now, it's not as if I drop the F-bomb around T and I guess it's more about the subject matter. Apparently, I mentioned something about 'icky surgery'. Geez, I don't even recall what that might have been. Could have been about my shoulder, but who knows? I know I haven't discussed sex, either, since I certainly wouldn't talk about that in a roomful of male relatives. See, I'm the only female in my family. My mother died five or so years ago, both my parents were only children and my brother has three sons. He's divorced from both his wives.
What really sucked about the whole thing was that they put my dad in the awkward position of telling me. He's an old man, totally devoted to his youngest grandchild and was deprived of his company today because my sis-in-law didn't want him to be around me. In a restaurant, with the rest of his family around him. I mean, even if I was a raving lunatic, how much damage could I do?
I'm sorry, but that was dirty pool. If either she or my brother has a problem with me, they could damn well pick up the telephone and tell me themselves. What a pair of chicken-shits! I know, I'm not making a very good case for myself in using that kind of language here, but it really pisses me off. I'm my father's only daughter and he had to basically tell me that I'm no longer welcome at family gatherings. Or, I can come, but then T can't come.
And yeah, it makes me feel like one of those skeevy aunts or uncles we might remember from our own former childhoods.
I'm offended to the bone. I told my dad that I can't remember ever saying anything all that 'age inappropriate' and he pretty much agreed, other than one or two isolated incidents over the years. But even under those circumstances, I wasn't the one who instigated the topic. Hey, there were teenaged boys involved too, and sometimes their bathroom humor put me off a bit, but hey, I guess that's okay.
Anyway, dad was pretty bummed, because when he said something about '...in the future', I cut him off and said, "Oh, hey, there is no future - I don't need to be told twice that I'm not welcome." A few minutes later I said that I'd get over it. He looked over at me and said, "No, you won't." And he's right, I won't.
And I already know that he won't defend me. He never has. T is his main concern and he even said that he had to make a lot of compromises and put up with a lot in order to be able to continue to see T. Not to mention provide free day care for sis-in-law, who is a partner in a CPA firm and definately not hurting for money. That's always pissed me off, too.
I did tell my dad that while I was upset by sis-in-law and brother passing judgement on me, what really upset me was that they put Dad in the middle of it. That's *so* not fair to him.
In a small way, I guess I'm relieved. I'd really been trying to become closer to my remaining family and now I don't have to bother. I thought we'd made a lot of headway, but I guess I was wrong. I won't have to spend a pile of money to buy Christmas gifts for them, only to receive cheap crap in return. I won't have to beg off other holidays and events with them.
So yeah, fairly shitty way to end the weekend.
Skeevy aunt over and out :/