Fic: Could, Would, Should (Teddy/Chuck)
Title: Could, would, should.
Author: typhon_9
Genre: general angst.
Pairing/Character: Teddy/Chuck
Summary: He's gotten to used to the name Chuck. In fact, he sortof likes it. Just like there's something about poor Teddy Daniels he likes too.
Disclaimer: not mine.
Rating: pretty pg.
Author's Note: This movie just will not leave me alone. So I wrote some fic. Oh, and this fic features some shifting perspective. But only a little, I think.
----
"Chuck."
Lester's gotten too used to the name. He responds to it like it was given to him by his mother, like it's on his birth certificate. He kinda likes it. Hell, he really likes it.
Just like the something about poor, crazy Andrew Laeddis that he likes too. Or maybe it's Teddy Daniels he likes. Or maybe it's both. In any case, when he hears that voice say that name, he gets all soft inside.
----
After the first migrane, Chuck sat with him most of the night. Either perched on the edge of his bed, or in a chair not far off, Chuck was never far from Teddy's side. And never absent from Teddy's dreams.
At first, he's an unseen presence, looming and heavy but missing. And then he appears, taking the place of Laeddis, so close to him he can feel Chuck's dreamy breath, which is sweet and delicious. He's soft. His looks are gentle. Teddy wants to touch, to hold, to be comforted. The scream scares him off and Teddy is alone again with his nightmares.
In the following dreams, Chuck appears more. He's always quiet, never saying much, and what he does say doesn't make much sense. In the dreams, Chuck touches Teddy's face like Dolores did, leans against him like Dolores did, says her words and looks at him softly.
His sentences end with "baby" instead of "boss", sometimes, and Teddy can't wrap his head around it. But he feels the intense feeling of Chuck's finger tips, leans against his touch which dissolves as the dream changes.
Chuck is such a fucking comfort, a solid presence in otherwise unnerving and frightening dreams. And he hardly even knows the guy.
Teddy awakes with a start, and Chuck is with him almost momentarily.
"Feelin' better, boss?" He asks with one of his easy, charming smiles. Teddy nods; his head is still aching. "Power went out over night. Place is falling apart out there." Chuck's smile sticks, and Teddy sits himself up.
The room around them is chaotic. Orderlies and nurses dash around the room. Teddy rubs his forehead as Chuck settles onto the cot next to him.
"Breakfast cigarette?" Chuck offers with a wry little smirk. Despite himself, Teddy laughs, and despite his headache accepts the cigarette. They lean close to light both their smokes over Chuck's one flame.
The hustle and bustle continues around them while they smoke quietly, calmly, together.
"Chuck," Teddy doesn't look at him, but there's something intimate in the timber of his voice. "In the mausoleum..." He pauses to take a drag on his cigarette. He does that fancy french inhale which Chuck finds so entrancing and then continues. "It looked like you had something you wanted to say to me." Teddy looks at him expectantly, but Chuck isn't quite sure what is expected. He had lots of things he wanted to say and do during that rainy, private night, but nothing he should say, would be allowed to say.
Chuck avoids eye contact.
There is a long moment between them. Teddy's hand twitches, and for a second Chuck thinks Teddy's hand might touch his knee, his thigh. A small gesture... but no, in the end it's just another twitch.
"We gotta get off this rock, Chuck." Teddy says to him, finally turning to look at him. "You and me... I wanna get home... Back to normal U.S. Marshal jobs... working with my partner." A brief, hopeful smile crosses his face.
Something twists in Chuck's chest.
"We gotta stick together, okay? No matter what. I have a feeling... if they seperate us, we're ruined. Lost. I can't lose anybody else in my life, Chuck." He's so intense, Chuck finds himself frozen under Teddy's gaze. "We've gotta look out for each other. Take care of each other."
"I'll keep you safe, boss." Chuck smiles a little smile. "Someone's got to."
Teddy takes hold of Chuck's hand very seriously; his grip is strong and solid.
"I'll take care of you, Chuck. I promise." They maintain eye contact long enough that Chuck wants to squirm. Teddy's eyes are too intense, too powerful. It's almost frightening.
"We're gonna get out of here, boss." There's a sadness in his voice that Teddy picks up on, squints at. "Together. As partners." Forcing a smile, Chuck finished his cigarette. "Come on. We've got an investigation to run here."
Teddy smiles, proud of his podunk, new guy partner from Portland. Or Seattle. Or where-ever.
Together, shoulders brushing, they sneak off to Ward C.
---
They sit together like that at the end of things too. Close shouldered and smoking.
"You tell me." Lester says, thinking about how Chuck is a good name for him, it suits him, and he'll miss it. Miss hearing it.
"We gotta get off this rock, Chuck," Teddy says with a strange gleam in his eye. Chuck sighs, shakes his head. "Whatever's going on here, it's bad news."
"Teddy--"
Teddy's hand twitches, and this time it really does land on Chuck's thigh.
"We're partners, Chuck. No matter what." A small smile appears and disappears. Together they watch the orderlies walk up the path towards them. Teddy exhales long and loud, and stands up, pressing against Chuck's knee for leverage. He takes one step down, flicks his cigarette away, and then abruptly turns back. "Chuck." He says.
When Teddy leans forward, placing one hand on Chuck's leg and one behind his neck, Chuck stays very still. There's always the chance that Teddy will kill him in a psychotic rage. That's always been a risk.
"Chuck," he whispers. "Thank you." Chuck can feel his breath against his ear, feel the slight stubble, the pressure of his fingertips. His own hand sneaks to cover Teddy's on his thigh. People are watching, he can tell, but for now he doesn't care. This is too important.
"Teddy, please," Chuck wants to touch, for the first and last time. Wants to touch and hold and comfort. Wants to fix. His hands are shaking.
"Chuck." The grip on his neck tightens, just a little. It actually settles him, instead of making him more nervous. "You did a good thing for me. I'm gonna miss you, Lester. I really enjoyed being partners." His voice is so quiet, so stoic, Chuck can't read anything from it, but he's startled anyway. Teddy knows who he is. He hasn't regressed... he's just made a choice. He feels a dry press of lips against his ear, for a just a heartbeat, and then Teddy pulls back, their cheeks scraping together.
When he looks into Teddy's eyes, they're clearer and more determined than Chuck has seen since the entire charade got started. Clear and blue and so intense... It's like Teddy is trying to say to him, I know, I know what I did, who I am. And it's okay. Teddy keeps his hand on Chuck's skin, drags his fingers to hold jaw instead of neck. Chuck's hold on Teddy's hand tightens.
"I don't wanna live as a monster, Chuck. I can't."
Finally, because he can, because it won't matter, because he's crazy and everyone knows it now, even him, Teddy presses his lips to the corner of Chuck's mouth and closes his eyes tightly for a breath. When he feels something wet tickle his upper lip, he opens his eyes and sees that Chuck is crying.
His eyes are wet, at least, and a few tears track down his face.
"Don't do this," Chuck says, his voice an embarrassing whimper. His free hand finally acts, reaching up to clutch Teddy's shirt. After a moment he adds, "Boss, please."
"I'm not your boss," Teddy whispers against Chuck's mouth, and it hurts to do this. Maybe if he could stand himself, he could stand to stay, to have Chuck try and make him better... but he just can't. He can't stand to know what he's done, what he is, the horrors and terrors and tragedies of his life. They don't move until the the rustling of the orderlies and doctors breaks against the sounds of their breathing. "Time for me to go."
Chuck stares into Teddy's eyes and before he can pull away properly, go get his brains turned to quiet, docile mush, Chuck tugs at his shirt and crashes their lips together.
It's not much of a kiss, and it's not very long, and it's hardly enough.
As it ends, their lips peeling apart (somewhere behind them, the orderlies shuffle and scoff, and the doctors mumble amongst themselves), a tiny smile crosses Teddy's face.
"G'bye Chuck." And then he walks away.
"Teddy--" Chuck cries after him. He wants to say more, has so much more to say, but can't. Shouldn't.
Should have.
----
He sees Teddy after that, of course, but it's not the same. He's not the same. Neither of them are the same.
Teddy is Andrew Laeddis, and his eyes are dead. He's quiet and docile, doesn't speak unless spoken to. And then it's "Dr. Sheehan" and "yes sir, no sir" and there's nothing left of Teddy Daniels, his spark of life and passion.
It breaks Lester's heart. Hurts him physically, until he can't stand to look at the shell that was once two men at once, and now is none.
Eventually, Lester can't stand it and he quits. Not like he was especially respected or welcomed after Teddy anyway.
He gets on the ferry and lights a cigarette and leaves Shutter Island, leaves Ashecliffe, leaves Andrew Laeddis and Teddy Daniels behind him forever.
----
Ps, have you guys read the book of Shutter Island? It's really very good. And the Teddy-Chuck relationship is extra lovely.
Author: typhon_9
Genre: general angst.
Pairing/Character: Teddy/Chuck
Summary: He's gotten to used to the name Chuck. In fact, he sortof likes it. Just like there's something about poor Teddy Daniels he likes too.
Disclaimer: not mine.
Rating: pretty pg.
Author's Note: This movie just will not leave me alone. So I wrote some fic. Oh, and this fic features some shifting perspective. But only a little, I think.
----
"Chuck."
Lester's gotten too used to the name. He responds to it like it was given to him by his mother, like it's on his birth certificate. He kinda likes it. Hell, he really likes it.
Just like the something about poor, crazy Andrew Laeddis that he likes too. Or maybe it's Teddy Daniels he likes. Or maybe it's both. In any case, when he hears that voice say that name, he gets all soft inside.
----
After the first migrane, Chuck sat with him most of the night. Either perched on the edge of his bed, or in a chair not far off, Chuck was never far from Teddy's side. And never absent from Teddy's dreams.
At first, he's an unseen presence, looming and heavy but missing. And then he appears, taking the place of Laeddis, so close to him he can feel Chuck's dreamy breath, which is sweet and delicious. He's soft. His looks are gentle. Teddy wants to touch, to hold, to be comforted. The scream scares him off and Teddy is alone again with his nightmares.
In the following dreams, Chuck appears more. He's always quiet, never saying much, and what he does say doesn't make much sense. In the dreams, Chuck touches Teddy's face like Dolores did, leans against him like Dolores did, says her words and looks at him softly.
His sentences end with "baby" instead of "boss", sometimes, and Teddy can't wrap his head around it. But he feels the intense feeling of Chuck's finger tips, leans against his touch which dissolves as the dream changes.
Chuck is such a fucking comfort, a solid presence in otherwise unnerving and frightening dreams. And he hardly even knows the guy.
Teddy awakes with a start, and Chuck is with him almost momentarily.
"Feelin' better, boss?" He asks with one of his easy, charming smiles. Teddy nods; his head is still aching. "Power went out over night. Place is falling apart out there." Chuck's smile sticks, and Teddy sits himself up.
The room around them is chaotic. Orderlies and nurses dash around the room. Teddy rubs his forehead as Chuck settles onto the cot next to him.
"Breakfast cigarette?" Chuck offers with a wry little smirk. Despite himself, Teddy laughs, and despite his headache accepts the cigarette. They lean close to light both their smokes over Chuck's one flame.
The hustle and bustle continues around them while they smoke quietly, calmly, together.
"Chuck," Teddy doesn't look at him, but there's something intimate in the timber of his voice. "In the mausoleum..." He pauses to take a drag on his cigarette. He does that fancy french inhale which Chuck finds so entrancing and then continues. "It looked like you had something you wanted to say to me." Teddy looks at him expectantly, but Chuck isn't quite sure what is expected. He had lots of things he wanted to say and do during that rainy, private night, but nothing he should say, would be allowed to say.
Chuck avoids eye contact.
There is a long moment between them. Teddy's hand twitches, and for a second Chuck thinks Teddy's hand might touch his knee, his thigh. A small gesture... but no, in the end it's just another twitch.
"We gotta get off this rock, Chuck." Teddy says to him, finally turning to look at him. "You and me... I wanna get home... Back to normal U.S. Marshal jobs... working with my partner." A brief, hopeful smile crosses his face.
Something twists in Chuck's chest.
"We gotta stick together, okay? No matter what. I have a feeling... if they seperate us, we're ruined. Lost. I can't lose anybody else in my life, Chuck." He's so intense, Chuck finds himself frozen under Teddy's gaze. "We've gotta look out for each other. Take care of each other."
"I'll keep you safe, boss." Chuck smiles a little smile. "Someone's got to."
Teddy takes hold of Chuck's hand very seriously; his grip is strong and solid.
"I'll take care of you, Chuck. I promise." They maintain eye contact long enough that Chuck wants to squirm. Teddy's eyes are too intense, too powerful. It's almost frightening.
"We're gonna get out of here, boss." There's a sadness in his voice that Teddy picks up on, squints at. "Together. As partners." Forcing a smile, Chuck finished his cigarette. "Come on. We've got an investigation to run here."
Teddy smiles, proud of his podunk, new guy partner from Portland. Or Seattle. Or where-ever.
Together, shoulders brushing, they sneak off to Ward C.
---
They sit together like that at the end of things too. Close shouldered and smoking.
"You tell me." Lester says, thinking about how Chuck is a good name for him, it suits him, and he'll miss it. Miss hearing it.
"We gotta get off this rock, Chuck," Teddy says with a strange gleam in his eye. Chuck sighs, shakes his head. "Whatever's going on here, it's bad news."
"Teddy--"
Teddy's hand twitches, and this time it really does land on Chuck's thigh.
"We're partners, Chuck. No matter what." A small smile appears and disappears. Together they watch the orderlies walk up the path towards them. Teddy exhales long and loud, and stands up, pressing against Chuck's knee for leverage. He takes one step down, flicks his cigarette away, and then abruptly turns back. "Chuck." He says.
When Teddy leans forward, placing one hand on Chuck's leg and one behind his neck, Chuck stays very still. There's always the chance that Teddy will kill him in a psychotic rage. That's always been a risk.
"Chuck," he whispers. "Thank you." Chuck can feel his breath against his ear, feel the slight stubble, the pressure of his fingertips. His own hand sneaks to cover Teddy's on his thigh. People are watching, he can tell, but for now he doesn't care. This is too important.
"Teddy, please," Chuck wants to touch, for the first and last time. Wants to touch and hold and comfort. Wants to fix. His hands are shaking.
"Chuck." The grip on his neck tightens, just a little. It actually settles him, instead of making him more nervous. "You did a good thing for me. I'm gonna miss you, Lester. I really enjoyed being partners." His voice is so quiet, so stoic, Chuck can't read anything from it, but he's startled anyway. Teddy knows who he is. He hasn't regressed... he's just made a choice. He feels a dry press of lips against his ear, for a just a heartbeat, and then Teddy pulls back, their cheeks scraping together.
When he looks into Teddy's eyes, they're clearer and more determined than Chuck has seen since the entire charade got started. Clear and blue and so intense... It's like Teddy is trying to say to him, I know, I know what I did, who I am. And it's okay. Teddy keeps his hand on Chuck's skin, drags his fingers to hold jaw instead of neck. Chuck's hold on Teddy's hand tightens.
"I don't wanna live as a monster, Chuck. I can't."
Finally, because he can, because it won't matter, because he's crazy and everyone knows it now, even him, Teddy presses his lips to the corner of Chuck's mouth and closes his eyes tightly for a breath. When he feels something wet tickle his upper lip, he opens his eyes and sees that Chuck is crying.
His eyes are wet, at least, and a few tears track down his face.
"Don't do this," Chuck says, his voice an embarrassing whimper. His free hand finally acts, reaching up to clutch Teddy's shirt. After a moment he adds, "Boss, please."
"I'm not your boss," Teddy whispers against Chuck's mouth, and it hurts to do this. Maybe if he could stand himself, he could stand to stay, to have Chuck try and make him better... but he just can't. He can't stand to know what he's done, what he is, the horrors and terrors and tragedies of his life. They don't move until the the rustling of the orderlies and doctors breaks against the sounds of their breathing. "Time for me to go."
Chuck stares into Teddy's eyes and before he can pull away properly, go get his brains turned to quiet, docile mush, Chuck tugs at his shirt and crashes their lips together.
It's not much of a kiss, and it's not very long, and it's hardly enough.
As it ends, their lips peeling apart (somewhere behind them, the orderlies shuffle and scoff, and the doctors mumble amongst themselves), a tiny smile crosses Teddy's face.
"G'bye Chuck." And then he walks away.
"Teddy--" Chuck cries after him. He wants to say more, has so much more to say, but can't. Shouldn't.
Should have.
----
He sees Teddy after that, of course, but it's not the same. He's not the same. Neither of them are the same.
Teddy is Andrew Laeddis, and his eyes are dead. He's quiet and docile, doesn't speak unless spoken to. And then it's "Dr. Sheehan" and "yes sir, no sir" and there's nothing left of Teddy Daniels, his spark of life and passion.
It breaks Lester's heart. Hurts him physically, until he can't stand to look at the shell that was once two men at once, and now is none.
Eventually, Lester can't stand it and he quits. Not like he was especially respected or welcomed after Teddy anyway.
He gets on the ferry and lights a cigarette and leaves Shutter Island, leaves Ashecliffe, leaves Andrew Laeddis and Teddy Daniels behind him forever.
----
Ps, have you guys read the book of Shutter Island? It's really very good. And the Teddy-Chuck relationship is extra lovely.