LJ: the totally unfair challenge
If you are awake and on my flist:
first person to comment with a doable* porn prompt gets it.
* a combination I've done before, any universe, any sanitary sex act, and I may cruelly refuse for no reason
All done, and completely, utterly traumatizing, you have been warned. ;p
first person to comment with a doable* porn prompt gets it.
* a combination I've done before, any universe, any sanitary sex act, and I may cruelly refuse for no reason
All done, and completely, utterly traumatizing, you have been warned. ;p
"Your Lantean exploits have spread through the hive-fleets," the scientist-type was hissing smugly at him, "So we decided to get to the root of the problem."
Rodney was about to retort something brave and possibly Ronon-inspired when the strangely ergonomic goo switched into being strangely stimulating goo.
A lot of Wraith teeth grinned at him. "You will be our test subject. Let us see how the most cerebral of Lanteans likes it when his cravings turn against him."
As the Wraith *ship* started molesting him in earnest, Rodney yelled down the hall, "Bastard! You might have drowned me in chocolate instead!"
*
Carson would probably tell him that the ship had altered his biochemistry. Rodney wasn't in a position to care. He was shivering on the floor, covered in cooling goo, and there were a lot of clawed hands on his naked ass. "Got to be kidding me," he mumbled into the nearest chest.
"This is stage two of the experiment, Dr. McKay," said the scientist-Wraith. Every claw and smooth scale left trails of fire on Rodney's skin, and he struggled through a line of spacetime folding algorithms while his body protested being taken out of the life-sized sex toy. "There is a theory that sexual activity in your species increases your nutritional value."
Terror displaced the arousal for a moment. "You're going to feed on me too?! What the hell are you--oh, oh, that's bad." He gulped, spreading for the first two drones. "By bad I mean good. I mean. Bad. Very bad."
"Do not worry, Dr. McKay," and a slimy finger traced his chin, inanely causing him to think about sucking it, "If the theory holds, it will not even be a year of your life. Or your considerable faculties."
"Right. Faculties. I would've, ohgod, taken a research wing, uhn, named after me, instead."
"Think about it," sneered the scientist.
Unfortunately for Rodney, he did think about it, and after considering the situation from all angles (including upside-down, these were clearly evil beings who cared nothing for the health of his back, never mind his ass), Rodney realized that it was in his best interest to enjoy the sex as much as possible.
*
And he would have remembered that this was supposed to suck, in the bad way, if it didn't feel so good. The modified feeding was no more than a blood draw, and in the meantime he could direct a whole roomful of Wraith to rub, squeeze, spank, roll over, and even stay hard, and they'd actually do it. Messily. Creepily. But hi, following directions, and also? Continuous orgasms.
In his defense, he almost got them to 'restrain' him by sticking his hands in a living conduit, but unfortunately someone realized he was smart enough to crash the hiveship that way, so he went back to the one-sided blowjobs.
*
"Okay, look, the trauma of the feeding is obviously not going to kill me," Rodney panted, trying to crawl back into one of the cocoon things because at least it couldn't make the bruising worse. "The sex, on the other hand..."
"This is an unforeseen difficulty, yes," said the scientist-Wraith, licking his claws.
"Also, cushions. Because if I'm going to die in an orgy, I'd like to be comfortable."
At this point, the doors swept open. Rodney perked for a moment, hoping it was rescue and respite and maybe some MREs.
Instead, the various Wraith snapped to attention.
The Wraith Queen hovered over Rodney. Without turning her eyes away, she took the scientist-Wraith's report. Rodney sank into the goo, sighing as it regenerated (and restimulated) the sensitive spots.
"...his tongue. Really."
"And this would be phase three," murmured the scientist-Wraith.
"Kneel," said the Queen.
"What did I say about cush--mmmpph...!"
It was suffocating, there was still living-goo playing with his balls, somebody's feeding sucker was rubbing against his jugular, and he could hear the response inside his head. Still, there were worse ways to go.
Like the part where he'd be rescued right then and subsequently die of embarrassment.
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:P
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following directions, and also? Continuous orgasms.
Which made me chuckle because of course Rodney would put "following directions' in the same category as continuous orgasms
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That's me exploding all over the place after having read this. Thank YOU for having pointed me here! My god, the ship has sex with Rodney. This is like Anne McCaffrey gone NC-17, and somehow so obvious, it is quite clearly totally canon and why has it not spread through fanon like wild hot fire?
* * * * *
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But damn.
Also: In his defense, he almost got them to 'restrain' him by sticking his hands in a living conduit, but unfortunately someone realized he was smart enough to crash the hiveship that way, so he went back to the one-sided blowjobs.
I can't decide if it's also-scary or just funny, that I can hear him mentioning that to the team after the trauma has worn off a bit. Or possibly babbling in the midst of the rescue-trauma. "Well I tried to get computer access, but unfortunately they realized my brilliant mind could destroy them that way!"
Gah. XD
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