(no subject)
ie: The Mio and Tsurugi essay BEWARE SPOILERS
I have covered some of his general stuff towards love here and how things will change a bit post-update here
Mio:
A rundown of events:
* Mio becomes Queen
* Taiga has never met her before and knows pretty much zip about her and yet, behaves all lovey towards her when he does
* Taiga tries to court her: he is protective, excuses her faults, gets her gifts etc (goes to Wataru for advice...)
* Wataru reveals he loves her
* Mio rejects him and tells him she loves someone else
* Taiga goes to Wataru for help but discovers that Wataru is the one she loves
* He is very upset and possessive of her with Wataru
* he finds out Wataru is his brother and suddenly the "Mio loves him. grrr bad" is gone and he is completely focused on having both of them by his side
* Mio decides he needs to die, agrees to marry him to get close enough to do it. Taiga is overjoyed but still including Wataru in his perfect future
* Mio stabs Taiga in the gut. but Taiga proceeds to forgive her immediately and still protects her from Bishop
* Mio steps in between him and Wataru, protecting him. Then is killed by Bishop
What do these things say about Taiga? Well for one, as I have covered several times, Taiga knows almost nothing about love and how it works and constantly confuses his feelings and what displays are entirely appropriate for different types of love. He treats Wataru and Mio nearly the same and is desperate for their affection. There is also the fact that once Wataru was his brother them loving each other was far second place to Taiga having both of them. Interesting that when Taiga thought Wataru was human, albeit a precious one, he was very very concerned with the Wataru/Mio relationship but afterwards it became almost a non-issue. Part of this is no doubt that now that Wataru was Fangire, Taiga could probably order him around but part of it is also that Mio is no longer loving a "human" and thus not in danger of becoming a traitor like Maya. Wataru being "human" seems to have been the straw that broke the camel's back here.
Also, Taiga seeks to include Wataru in his life even before the revelation with the date at the themepark and a dinner date. He also comes to Wataru for advice on what to get Mio for a present. Taiga asks Wataru, which is hilarious considering Wataru is almost as much fail as Taiga is about the relationship thing. Taiga is obviously assuming Wataru knows how relationships work, and non-verbally admitting he doesn't.
And then Mio tries to kill him but he forgives her and denies any wrongdoing on her part. He clearly loves and adores her enough to want to protect her over his own health and safety. And it's not pure possessiveness like King, because King tried to kill Maya rather than lose her. But at this point he's known Mio for... a month at most. Not really time for a normal person to start feeling that deeply for someone, especially someone with bouts of selfishness like Taiga. So Taiga throws himself into romantic relationships quickly and completely.
On the other hand... he knew Mio for a month. While Taiga does love her what he seems to be in love with isn't her, but rather the idea of someone who will be with him forever. His Queen, the one woman "meant" for him and him alone. In short a soul-mate type deal. Except by the end of canon he realizes that Mio wasn't. He blames himself for her death and understands that the fighting over her is what caused it. And then there's Maya who also didn't love her King at all. Taiga's concept of Queen being meant for him is thoroughly crushed and Camp has supported this.
So what's a King to do? He loved, was not loved in return, and lost, all very quickly and in a painful way. His slowly budding friendship with Mio in Camp has helped but there's still a nagging hurt and loneliness he is having trouble shaking. It hurts and he doesn't want to hurt. His whole world and worldview got smashed around him and there are large chunks that are still in ruins.
But then things developed in a new way with Tsurugi...
Tsurugi:
Taiga met Tsurugi about two months ago. They fenced, in dresses, and Tsurugi equated himself very well. He fought well, spoke well and put himself forward as a businessman. There was also the fact that Taiga was close enough to him for long enough to at least sense that Tsurugi was not food. Ergo, not human. There was also the fact that Tsurugi was open and friendly, even having just lost a match to Taiga. So Taiga was very very impressed and inclined to start liking him. They agreed to hold a rematch later.
But hiatuses and timezones interfered with actually playing that out so Tsurugi's mun and I agreed that they probably got together at least once or twice but probably fairly regularly offscreen for rematch(es) and casual conversation.
A couple weeks later Taiga got drawn to the egotistical douchebag magnet with Tsurugi. Tsurugi was again warm, open and friendly and because Taiga was currently being rained on for lack of hugs very happily hugged him. Initiating contact is a big thing for Taiga, moreso that Tsurugi liked giving that hug and kept it up, eventually moving to other contact instead but keeping the contact. Tsurugi at this point is happily and repeatedly calling Taiga friend and Taiga reciprocates the feeling. This and the hugs encourage him to offer his bed to Tsurugi to share until Tsurugi finds a place. Tsurugi agrees and moves in. They start spending a lot more time together (again timezones means some of it is offscreen but we've worked out RPing fairly often) and... Tsurugi just doesn't move out.
A few days later during the timeflower post Tsurugi comforts Taiga in his foster-father emo. His advice isn't very good but Taiga is at the point of excusing his faults by now and there's more contact. Like with Rue Taiga isn't sure of what to make of getting touched so much. The only person he touches with anything approaching regularity in canon is Wataru and Wataru doesn't touch him back nearly as often. His response is to start liking Tsurugi more and maybe start the seeds of a very very vague and uncertain half puppy-crush. Primarily a platonic crush but definitely there.
Then there was the closet. It started with an accidental walling in the dark courtesy of Tsurugi and proceeded with fumbling and awkwardness at being so close towards a very very confused and uncertain attempt at a kiss, which they both more or less dismissed afterwards though it did nothing to decrease the puppy-crush. The most important part of that experience was that they both admitted they really liked each other very strongly. Having people like him is very important to Taiga and thus Tsurugi became his most important non-canon person, equal to Nana.
At the dance Taiga saw no reason to refuse Tsurugi asking him to dance and proceeded to try to comfort Tsurugi's unhappiness about his sister and then admitted that he'd been very lonely before Wataru and Mio. And then Tsurugi said "You never have to worry about that again, my friend." Taiga worries about being alone. Tsurugi is honest to a fault and for him to say that made a huge impact on Taiga. Taiga took it as a promise to be with him forever.
A few days later in Maya's intro two things happened. Taiga revealed he was Fangire and wasn't rejected. And then he found out about Mio and Tsurugi comforted him as he broke down. At this point Tsurugi has seen Taiga at the most broken he's gotten and will probably ever get in Camp proper.
Then in the honesty post they went over the "I like you, you like me" thing again, only this time if Taiga had ever had any doubts he knew it was utterly true because he'd been forced to be utterly a wholly honest earlier in the post. Secondly Taiga made the conscious connection about just how much alike they are in terms of relationships and loneliness. And he introduced Tsurugi to Maya. He treated her like family, which only furthered Taiga's confused ideas of duality between them and how close they were becoming.
Then it came for Taiga's turn to comfort Tsurugi, which he did even as Tsurugi was reluctant. First it was with Tsurugi's nightmares and then later Tsurugi revealed that he'd lost his sister... an event that had parallels to Taiga losing Mio, at least in Taiga's mind.
The dream post doesn't have relevance other than that Taiga's subconscious took puppy-crush, added the promise of forever, subtracted not being a relative and got red thread by process of elimination. Taiga remembers none of the events in the dream but it did two things. One, it settled his feelings a little and he started referring to Tsurugi rather like Wataru, using love and such. And another, it supported the feeling that Tsurugi would be there forever.
At this point they would have remained in this platonically gay friendship indefinitely. Taiga was mostly oblivious and certainly wouldn't have made a move without some sign from Tsurugi even if he wasn't and Tsurugi was pretty much completely oblivious.
But other people interfered. First Tendou and Daisuke pointed out that it looked an awful lot like a lot more than a friendship. Taiga dismissed the opinions outwardly but it confused him enough to think about it and so he was thinking about it when Tendou outwardly told Tsurugi it looked like they were gay for each other and told Tsurugi to kiss him. They both admitted to each other that they were very confused about the whole thing but the kiss did happen and Taiga liked it a lot. There was a mutual decision that ok, it must be true and then Tsurugi said, "I will make sure that you are happy, always." Another promise of forever.
However Taiga was still confused over it and went to Maya for advice. He asked her about Otoya and managed to determine that even if he wasn't sure exactly how he felt he knew enough to decide he wanted to try.
Of course, Tsurugi being Tsurugi his first gesture as boyfriends was to ask Taiga out in an extravigant way. The attention thrilled Taiga, but also got the attention of other people who tried to cast into doubt their feelings. Taiga was already confused and Tsurugi became confused also. Now, Taiga does not in any way want a repeat of Mio. On the other hand he's lost a chance at romance once already and doesn't want to risk losing it again. He's aware of his own confusion but is running under the assumption that it will sort itself out eventually. If they only love each other as friends they will end up as just friends all on it's own, right? Taiga doesn't know where to go from here but... he would like to try. So he will follow Tsurugi's lead.
Ok, so what is going on inside Taiga's head here? He's just lost one love and jumped on the chance at another. But that makes sense. He throws himself completely into the idea of love and circumstances gave him more than enough incentive to try. He's also hurting and lonely. He honestly does wish Mio and Wataru the best but on the other hand it hurts. Mio being present is a reminder of what he's lost. And Taiga doesn't want to hurt. In short, a part of this is a rebound relationship. Does he care for Tsurugi any less because of it? Well, no. Regardless of developments he will always carry a deep platonic love and devotion towards Tsurugi, the same as towards Mio and Wataru. Does he love Tsurugi romantically? Eh, not really, not yet. There is a bit of a puppy-crush there, but mostly because Tsurugi responds so well to his affection and showers him with affection. But it's still Taiga being in love with the idea of spending forever with someone special. This isn't to say that someday, with a lot of time and the right circumstances it couldn't become romantic love but right now it's pretty much platonic and confused.
Now does Taiga have sexual attraction to Tsurugi? He has no idea and it's kinda up in the air how much is actual attraction and how much is basking in the affection. Touch feels good, especially if it's honest and the person likes him. And Taiga doesn't really have objections to homosexuality. For Taiga species was always much, much more important than anything else and Maya and Otoya pretty much completely blew the idea of it mattering at all out of the water. Why should something so insignificant compared to species matter then? Ash and Kieran also helped in this respect. Of course, Taiga would have actually made a move on Tsurugi if he was a girl because he does think heteronormatively by default. He would have been more quick to jump to the conclusion of romantic love on his own rather than having to be told. But as it is Tsurugi's gender is so far secondary to the fact that he likes Taiga back that you can't even see it.
In short, Taiga is very very confused but it feels good so he's going for it and hang the consequences.
I have covered some of his general stuff towards love here and how things will change a bit post-update here
Mio:
A rundown of events:
* Mio becomes Queen
* Taiga has never met her before and knows pretty much zip about her and yet, behaves all lovey towards her when he does
* Taiga tries to court her: he is protective, excuses her faults, gets her gifts etc (goes to Wataru for advice...)
* Wataru reveals he loves her
* Mio rejects him and tells him she loves someone else
* Taiga goes to Wataru for help but discovers that Wataru is the one she loves
* He is very upset and possessive of her with Wataru
* he finds out Wataru is his brother and suddenly the "Mio loves him. grrr bad" is gone and he is completely focused on having both of them by his side
* Mio decides he needs to die, agrees to marry him to get close enough to do it. Taiga is overjoyed but still including Wataru in his perfect future
* Mio stabs Taiga in the gut. but Taiga proceeds to forgive her immediately and still protects her from Bishop
* Mio steps in between him and Wataru, protecting him. Then is killed by Bishop
What do these things say about Taiga? Well for one, as I have covered several times, Taiga knows almost nothing about love and how it works and constantly confuses his feelings and what displays are entirely appropriate for different types of love. He treats Wataru and Mio nearly the same and is desperate for their affection. There is also the fact that once Wataru was his brother them loving each other was far second place to Taiga having both of them. Interesting that when Taiga thought Wataru was human, albeit a precious one, he was very very concerned with the Wataru/Mio relationship but afterwards it became almost a non-issue. Part of this is no doubt that now that Wataru was Fangire, Taiga could probably order him around but part of it is also that Mio is no longer loving a "human" and thus not in danger of becoming a traitor like Maya. Wataru being "human" seems to have been the straw that broke the camel's back here.
Also, Taiga seeks to include Wataru in his life even before the revelation with the date at the themepark and a dinner date. He also comes to Wataru for advice on what to get Mio for a present. Taiga asks Wataru, which is hilarious considering Wataru is almost as much fail as Taiga is about the relationship thing. Taiga is obviously assuming Wataru knows how relationships work, and non-verbally admitting he doesn't.
And then Mio tries to kill him but he forgives her and denies any wrongdoing on her part. He clearly loves and adores her enough to want to protect her over his own health and safety. And it's not pure possessiveness like King, because King tried to kill Maya rather than lose her. But at this point he's known Mio for... a month at most. Not really time for a normal person to start feeling that deeply for someone, especially someone with bouts of selfishness like Taiga. So Taiga throws himself into romantic relationships quickly and completely.
On the other hand... he knew Mio for a month. While Taiga does love her what he seems to be in love with isn't her, but rather the idea of someone who will be with him forever. His Queen, the one woman "meant" for him and him alone. In short a soul-mate type deal. Except by the end of canon he realizes that Mio wasn't. He blames himself for her death and understands that the fighting over her is what caused it. And then there's Maya who also didn't love her King at all. Taiga's concept of Queen being meant for him is thoroughly crushed and Camp has supported this.
So what's a King to do? He loved, was not loved in return, and lost, all very quickly and in a painful way. His slowly budding friendship with Mio in Camp has helped but there's still a nagging hurt and loneliness he is having trouble shaking. It hurts and he doesn't want to hurt. His whole world and worldview got smashed around him and there are large chunks that are still in ruins.
But then things developed in a new way with Tsurugi...
Tsurugi:
Taiga met Tsurugi about two months ago. They fenced, in dresses, and Tsurugi equated himself very well. He fought well, spoke well and put himself forward as a businessman. There was also the fact that Taiga was close enough to him for long enough to at least sense that Tsurugi was not food. Ergo, not human. There was also the fact that Tsurugi was open and friendly, even having just lost a match to Taiga. So Taiga was very very impressed and inclined to start liking him. They agreed to hold a rematch later.
But hiatuses and timezones interfered with actually playing that out so Tsurugi's mun and I agreed that they probably got together at least once or twice but probably fairly regularly offscreen for rematch(es) and casual conversation.
A couple weeks later Taiga got drawn to the egotistical douchebag magnet with Tsurugi. Tsurugi was again warm, open and friendly and because Taiga was currently being rained on for lack of hugs very happily hugged him. Initiating contact is a big thing for Taiga, moreso that Tsurugi liked giving that hug and kept it up, eventually moving to other contact instead but keeping the contact. Tsurugi at this point is happily and repeatedly calling Taiga friend and Taiga reciprocates the feeling. This and the hugs encourage him to offer his bed to Tsurugi to share until Tsurugi finds a place. Tsurugi agrees and moves in. They start spending a lot more time together (again timezones means some of it is offscreen but we've worked out RPing fairly often) and... Tsurugi just doesn't move out.
A few days later during the timeflower post Tsurugi comforts Taiga in his foster-father emo. His advice isn't very good but Taiga is at the point of excusing his faults by now and there's more contact. Like with Rue Taiga isn't sure of what to make of getting touched so much. The only person he touches with anything approaching regularity in canon is Wataru and Wataru doesn't touch him back nearly as often. His response is to start liking Tsurugi more and maybe start the seeds of a very very vague and uncertain half puppy-crush. Primarily a platonic crush but definitely there.
Then there was the closet. It started with an accidental walling in the dark courtesy of Tsurugi and proceeded with fumbling and awkwardness at being so close towards a very very confused and uncertain attempt at a kiss, which they both more or less dismissed afterwards though it did nothing to decrease the puppy-crush. The most important part of that experience was that they both admitted they really liked each other very strongly. Having people like him is very important to Taiga and thus Tsurugi became his most important non-canon person, equal to Nana.
At the dance Taiga saw no reason to refuse Tsurugi asking him to dance and proceeded to try to comfort Tsurugi's unhappiness about his sister and then admitted that he'd been very lonely before Wataru and Mio. And then Tsurugi said "You never have to worry about that again, my friend." Taiga worries about being alone. Tsurugi is honest to a fault and for him to say that made a huge impact on Taiga. Taiga took it as a promise to be with him forever.
A few days later in Maya's intro two things happened. Taiga revealed he was Fangire and wasn't rejected. And then he found out about Mio and Tsurugi comforted him as he broke down. At this point Tsurugi has seen Taiga at the most broken he's gotten and will probably ever get in Camp proper.
Then in the honesty post they went over the "I like you, you like me" thing again, only this time if Taiga had ever had any doubts he knew it was utterly true because he'd been forced to be utterly a wholly honest earlier in the post. Secondly Taiga made the conscious connection about just how much alike they are in terms of relationships and loneliness. And he introduced Tsurugi to Maya. He treated her like family, which only furthered Taiga's confused ideas of duality between them and how close they were becoming.
Then it came for Taiga's turn to comfort Tsurugi, which he did even as Tsurugi was reluctant. First it was with Tsurugi's nightmares and then later Tsurugi revealed that he'd lost his sister... an event that had parallels to Taiga losing Mio, at least in Taiga's mind.
The dream post doesn't have relevance other than that Taiga's subconscious took puppy-crush, added the promise of forever, subtracted not being a relative and got red thread by process of elimination. Taiga remembers none of the events in the dream but it did two things. One, it settled his feelings a little and he started referring to Tsurugi rather like Wataru, using love and such. And another, it supported the feeling that Tsurugi would be there forever.
At this point they would have remained in this platonically gay friendship indefinitely. Taiga was mostly oblivious and certainly wouldn't have made a move without some sign from Tsurugi even if he wasn't and Tsurugi was pretty much completely oblivious.
But other people interfered. First Tendou and Daisuke pointed out that it looked an awful lot like a lot more than a friendship. Taiga dismissed the opinions outwardly but it confused him enough to think about it and so he was thinking about it when Tendou outwardly told Tsurugi it looked like they were gay for each other and told Tsurugi to kiss him. They both admitted to each other that they were very confused about the whole thing but the kiss did happen and Taiga liked it a lot. There was a mutual decision that ok, it must be true and then Tsurugi said, "I will make sure that you are happy, always." Another promise of forever.
However Taiga was still confused over it and went to Maya for advice. He asked her about Otoya and managed to determine that even if he wasn't sure exactly how he felt he knew enough to decide he wanted to try.
Of course, Tsurugi being Tsurugi his first gesture as boyfriends was to ask Taiga out in an extravigant way. The attention thrilled Taiga, but also got the attention of other people who tried to cast into doubt their feelings. Taiga was already confused and Tsurugi became confused also. Now, Taiga does not in any way want a repeat of Mio. On the other hand he's lost a chance at romance once already and doesn't want to risk losing it again. He's aware of his own confusion but is running under the assumption that it will sort itself out eventually. If they only love each other as friends they will end up as just friends all on it's own, right? Taiga doesn't know where to go from here but... he would like to try. So he will follow Tsurugi's lead.
Ok, so what is going on inside Taiga's head here? He's just lost one love and jumped on the chance at another. But that makes sense. He throws himself completely into the idea of love and circumstances gave him more than enough incentive to try. He's also hurting and lonely. He honestly does wish Mio and Wataru the best but on the other hand it hurts. Mio being present is a reminder of what he's lost. And Taiga doesn't want to hurt. In short, a part of this is a rebound relationship. Does he care for Tsurugi any less because of it? Well, no. Regardless of developments he will always carry a deep platonic love and devotion towards Tsurugi, the same as towards Mio and Wataru. Does he love Tsurugi romantically? Eh, not really, not yet. There is a bit of a puppy-crush there, but mostly because Tsurugi responds so well to his affection and showers him with affection. But it's still Taiga being in love with the idea of spending forever with someone special. This isn't to say that someday, with a lot of time and the right circumstances it couldn't become romantic love but right now it's pretty much platonic and confused.
Now does Taiga have sexual attraction to Tsurugi? He has no idea and it's kinda up in the air how much is actual attraction and how much is basking in the affection. Touch feels good, especially if it's honest and the person likes him. And Taiga doesn't really have objections to homosexuality. For Taiga species was always much, much more important than anything else and Maya and Otoya pretty much completely blew the idea of it mattering at all out of the water. Why should something so insignificant compared to species matter then? Ash and Kieran also helped in this respect. Of course, Taiga would have actually made a move on Tsurugi if he was a girl because he does think heteronormatively by default. He would have been more quick to jump to the conclusion of romantic love on his own rather than having to be told. But as it is Tsurugi's gender is so far secondary to the fact that he likes Taiga back that you can't even see it.
In short, Taiga is very very confused but it feels good so he's going for it and hang the consequences.