Open Post to the Smoker on SW 6th Ave This Morning
Dear Moron,
If you're going to litter by tossing out your spent cigarette, please observe the following rules:
1. Extinguish the burning ashes. This may be achieved by placing the butt on the sidewalk and stamping down upon it by raising your foot (preferably while wearing shoes) and moving it in a downward motion, pressing into the pavement with the butt between your shoe and the sidewalk, so that the butt is crushed.
2. Continue step one until the burning ashes are completely extinguished. This may be achieved by watching for any remaining smoke.
Bonus step:
1. Littering is not mandatory for a smoker (strange but true!). In fact, there are actually laws against it. As a courtesy to your fellow citizens, please bend down, pick up the extinguished butt, and place it somewhere on your person (you might consider obtaining a small plastic bag as a portable receptacle to collect a number of these extinguished butts throughout the day).
Extra credit (this is for the supreme morons, of which I believe you are one):
1. Do not under any circumstances toss a lit cigarette into bushes in front of a multi-story office building where hundreds of people are working. Plants tend to be flammable.
2. Do not under any circumstances toss a lit cigarette on to anything that might possibly be flammable after the city has just completed 11 straight days of high temperatures in the 90s and 100s, without any rainfall at all. Dry things tend to be flammable.
3. Do not under any circumstances toss a lit cigarette on to fertilizer or manure. Those substances tend to have highly flammable chemicals and gasses inside of them, and the lit cigarette could cause a fire to erupt.
Thank you for your efforts to wrap your tiny pea-sized brain around these extraordinary concepts, moron.
[When I was walking in to my office building a few minutes ago, I smelled something burning and noticed that there was a lit cigarette in the dry, fertilized soil of some shrub in front of the building. There was smoke rising and flames had started to appear and were about to set the shrubs on fire. Luckily, I had a 32 ounce bottle filled with water in my backpack, and I was able to put out the fire, even though it cost me all but a few ounces of my water supply for the day. So I'm a little pissed off that some careless moron just jeopardized the safety of myself, my co-workers, and everyone else in this building. Makes me a feel a little better to gripe about this experience. Now, back to work. :) ]
If you're going to litter by tossing out your spent cigarette, please observe the following rules:
1. Extinguish the burning ashes. This may be achieved by placing the butt on the sidewalk and stamping down upon it by raising your foot (preferably while wearing shoes) and moving it in a downward motion, pressing into the pavement with the butt between your shoe and the sidewalk, so that the butt is crushed.
2. Continue step one until the burning ashes are completely extinguished. This may be achieved by watching for any remaining smoke.
Bonus step:
1. Littering is not mandatory for a smoker (strange but true!). In fact, there are actually laws against it. As a courtesy to your fellow citizens, please bend down, pick up the extinguished butt, and place it somewhere on your person (you might consider obtaining a small plastic bag as a portable receptacle to collect a number of these extinguished butts throughout the day).
Extra credit (this is for the supreme morons, of which I believe you are one):
1. Do not under any circumstances toss a lit cigarette into bushes in front of a multi-story office building where hundreds of people are working. Plants tend to be flammable.
2. Do not under any circumstances toss a lit cigarette on to anything that might possibly be flammable after the city has just completed 11 straight days of high temperatures in the 90s and 100s, without any rainfall at all. Dry things tend to be flammable.
3. Do not under any circumstances toss a lit cigarette on to fertilizer or manure. Those substances tend to have highly flammable chemicals and gasses inside of them, and the lit cigarette could cause a fire to erupt.
Thank you for your efforts to wrap your tiny pea-sized brain around these extraordinary concepts, moron.
[When I was walking in to my office building a few minutes ago, I smelled something burning and noticed that there was a lit cigarette in the dry, fertilized soil of some shrub in front of the building. There was smoke rising and flames had started to appear and were about to set the shrubs on fire. Luckily, I had a 32 ounce bottle filled with water in my backpack, and I was able to put out the fire, even though it cost me all but a few ounces of my water supply for the day. So I'm a little pissed off that some careless moron just jeopardized the safety of myself, my co-workers, and everyone else in this building. Makes me a feel a little better to gripe about this experience. Now, back to work. :) ]