Mc-Uber-Stress
The past two days Chris was really depressed-tense-anxious. It was hard, because I was feeling much the same. And I always feel so useless; when I'm upset, he always seems to know how to help me, even if it takes a few tries. But I feel like I never know what to do, and it makes me feel like I don't know how to love him enough. He uber cleaned the apartment the night before last, while he was upset. It is now super sparkly.
He's feeling much better today. I called to check on him at work, and he described his mood of the day as 'chipper'. I'm glad he's feeling better. I'm not really, and a friend of mine - one of the two or three that I have, all of whom are internet friends - was a jerk to me and I don't know where we stand, and I can't really get myself to care.
I'm just sick of the things going on in the house. And I'm tired of what happened, and frustrated that I have no one to talk to about it. I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea about my husband, or make them think bad things about him; and I know, I can't control what people think, but I can by not talking about it. But then - who would I talk to about it anyway? All I have is Chris.
I guess I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself today. I'm very stressed and spread thin, and I'm not really handling or coping with anything at all. I'm just ignoring it, I guess. If I keep doing this I know I'll end up back in the self-harm stage, but I can't really care about regression either right now.
Hopefully me and Chris will be able to talk tonight... if I can manage not to feel guilty talking about such things when he's in such a chipper mood.
Saturday is our three month anniversary, and I've got a sexy outfit to wear for him when he comes home from work. Also, finally got the money order mailed out for his birthday present, and this weekend I should be able to order his Valentine's present. I guess that's good.
I'm going to take a shower and shave. Maybe silky smoothness will ease my tension.
He's feeling much better today. I called to check on him at work, and he described his mood of the day as 'chipper'. I'm glad he's feeling better. I'm not really, and a friend of mine - one of the two or three that I have, all of whom are internet friends - was a jerk to me and I don't know where we stand, and I can't really get myself to care.
I'm just sick of the things going on in the house. And I'm tired of what happened, and frustrated that I have no one to talk to about it. I don't want to give anyone the wrong idea about my husband, or make them think bad things about him; and I know, I can't control what people think, but I can by not talking about it. But then - who would I talk to about it anyway? All I have is Chris.
I guess I'm feeling pretty sorry for myself today. I'm very stressed and spread thin, and I'm not really handling or coping with anything at all. I'm just ignoring it, I guess. If I keep doing this I know I'll end up back in the self-harm stage, but I can't really care about regression either right now.
Hopefully me and Chris will be able to talk tonight... if I can manage not to feel guilty talking about such things when he's in such a chipper mood.
Saturday is our three month anniversary, and I've got a sexy outfit to wear for him when he comes home from work. Also, finally got the money order mailed out for his birthday present, and this weekend I should be able to order his Valentine's present. I guess that's good.
I'm going to take a shower and shave. Maybe silky smoothness will ease my tension.