Insomniac Ramblings about Yearly Emotional Trends
I have stated this many times before but life really is in patterns. I read over old entries like "what I wrote today 4 years ago" and compare it to now or even two years ago.
My life goes like this in a yearly cycle:
Around Feb/March: ready for a change and very motivated. Feel like I am getting back to normal and back on track. Schedule regulates.
May-July: ecstatic, careless, blissful. Everything is going well even if I am doing things I would be upset about/regret other times of the year.
August: Very optimistic. thinking about change again but not as seriously as March but usually accidentally and/or easily achieve it.
September/October: Regretful for random things in the recent past and even things more long ago that I have already dwelled over. Wanting to be alone once I realize I don't "play well with others". Anxiety randomly. Insomnia begins. Becoming lazy like I don't care anymore...usually skipping school/calling in to work, sleeping a lot, blowing people off (this comes in waves until Feb)
November-January: Become kind of superficial. (meaning I go through that wanting to be alone stage and don't transition well back into society so I kind of put up a front) Lots of drama happens in this time because I want something and never know what it is so I am easily frustrated and try to change things (even drastically and out of nowhere...like even breaking up with guys, selling things, getting pets, etc) Also, I feel overwhemled by money issues and emotional issues...even if they're not that big of a deal.
So this makes sense why I hate Winter and love Summer I guess. I think people in general kind of do the same thing...people crave change in Spring and people turn somewhat recluse/mildly "depressed" in Winter.
Right now, I don't want to sleep. I want to work a lot. I want to listen to music constantly and appreciate it. I want to read tons of books and watch tons of movies. I don't feel like I need people. ha ha ha. This is why I started thinking about this trend. I was thinking "I think it's the time of year...."
So it kind of makes sense why I hated school and struggled though it. At the beginning (Aug) and end (March/April) of the school year is when I would feel motivated and optimistic but not at all during the majority.
One thing I have learned and not yet come to terms with about myself is even when I am aware of something to do with my personality, I can't usually change it. Like I can't go "okay so now that I know I will most likely feel this way during this time of year...I will be ready and prepared for it and be able to avoid it." Nope. I try and instead I just have to know how to handle it. ha ha ha
Whatever.
I love of Montreal. I have been listening to their new album a lot. They play here in Dec. Woooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My life goes like this in a yearly cycle:
Around Feb/March: ready for a change and very motivated. Feel like I am getting back to normal and back on track. Schedule regulates.
May-July: ecstatic, careless, blissful. Everything is going well even if I am doing things I would be upset about/regret other times of the year.
August: Very optimistic. thinking about change again but not as seriously as March but usually accidentally and/or easily achieve it.
September/October: Regretful for random things in the recent past and even things more long ago that I have already dwelled over. Wanting to be alone once I realize I don't "play well with others". Anxiety randomly. Insomnia begins. Becoming lazy like I don't care anymore...usually skipping school/calling in to work, sleeping a lot, blowing people off (this comes in waves until Feb)
November-January: Become kind of superficial. (meaning I go through that wanting to be alone stage and don't transition well back into society so I kind of put up a front) Lots of drama happens in this time because I want something and never know what it is so I am easily frustrated and try to change things (even drastically and out of nowhere...like even breaking up with guys, selling things, getting pets, etc) Also, I feel overwhemled by money issues and emotional issues...even if they're not that big of a deal.
So this makes sense why I hate Winter and love Summer I guess. I think people in general kind of do the same thing...people crave change in Spring and people turn somewhat recluse/mildly "depressed" in Winter.
Right now, I don't want to sleep. I want to work a lot. I want to listen to music constantly and appreciate it. I want to read tons of books and watch tons of movies. I don't feel like I need people. ha ha ha. This is why I started thinking about this trend. I was thinking "I think it's the time of year...."
So it kind of makes sense why I hated school and struggled though it. At the beginning (Aug) and end (March/April) of the school year is when I would feel motivated and optimistic but not at all during the majority.
One thing I have learned and not yet come to terms with about myself is even when I am aware of something to do with my personality, I can't usually change it. Like I can't go "okay so now that I know I will most likely feel this way during this time of year...I will be ready and prepared for it and be able to avoid it." Nope. I try and instead I just have to know how to handle it. ha ha ha
Whatever.
I love of Montreal. I have been listening to their new album a lot. They play here in Dec. Woooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!