(no subject)
>1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not
>walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
>beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell
>alone.
>
>2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
>going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the
>time to do it.
>
>3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you
>aren't getting any.
>
>4. No one is listening until you fart.
>
>5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
>missing a couple of car payments.
>
>6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
>mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize
>them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
>
>7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
>for you.
>
>8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
>Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and
>drink beer all day.
>
>9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
>again, it was worth it.
>
>10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
>
>11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a
>lot of that comes from bad judgment.
>
>12. There are two theories about arguing with women.
>Neither one works.
>
>13. Experience is something you don't get until just
>after you need it.
>
>14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
>pill and a laxative on the same night
>
>15. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
>friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"
>walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk
>beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell
>alone.
>
>2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're
>going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the
>time to do it.
>
>3. Sex is like air -- it's not important unless you
>aren't getting any.
>
>4. No one is listening until you fart.
>
>5. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try
>missing a couple of car payments.
>
>6. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
>mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize
>them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.
>
>7. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not
>for you.
>
>8. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day.
>Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and
>drink beer all day.
>
>9. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person
>again, it was worth it.
>
>10. Don't worry--It only seems kinky the first time.
>
>11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a
>lot of that comes from bad judgment.
>
>12. There are two theories about arguing with women.
>Neither one works.
>
>13. Experience is something you don't get until just
>after you need it.
>
>14. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping
>pill and a laxative on the same night
>
>15. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true
>friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...that was fun!"