Friday 13th
"I can't understand why you're growing your hair. Now not drinking I can understand, but this? When I heard about it from my man, I spent the whole day venting about it to him." Incredulity in her voice, like I had personally insulted her.
"Well, it's a bet," I reply by way of explanation.
"A bet?" Stunned disbelief.
"A bet." Deadpan.
"But - forgive my frankness," she goes on, though my forgiveness is quite apparently below sating her curiosity in her priorities, "it doesn't become you. Baldness suits you so much better. You don't look good with your hair like that!"
"Trust me, out of all the people I know, I am most aware of the fact that my pate is showing. And it's a bet." I try to think of suitable metaphors to describe the mano a mano I've engaged in. My honour against that of my friend; He claims that I am weak-willed and I have decided to prove him wrong. It's a mental wrestling match lasting a year. A gauntlet that I will run through to prove my manliness greater than his. It's the modern-day equivalent to pistols at ten paces. Except that he stands to lose just a bottle of whisky, not his life. We live in a civilized time after all - as primitively aggressive as our minds may sometimes be.
"I just don't get it! It's like you'd struck a bet to not shower for a year or something! Why would you sacrifice your social life for a bet?"
"Well, it's not like have much of one anyway."
Though the above conversational vignette is poorly reconstructed from memory and certainly overdramatized to cast me in a more heroic light than is both appropriate and reasonable, it still highlights an interesting disparity in the way our sexes think. (It also proves that I can go to ridiculous lengths to justify silly bets to myself, but that is neither here nor there.) Judging by her reaction letting my hair grow appears to be on par with removing a limb or two. It was quite amusing, really.
Also, one day I'll make a winamp meme of my own. But not here and not now.
Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP/Whatever on shuffle.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
NO CHEATING
1. How does the world see me? Ozric Tentacles - Plasmoid
Funky and stretchy.
2. Will I have a happy life? Ring of Fire - City of the Dead
Should I take that as a 'no'?
3. What do my friends really think of me? Ring of Fire - Murder by Numbers
"Now your computer won't understand / Anything you try to say" Some sad connotations for a mathematician too...
4. Do people secretly lust after me? King Crimson - The Devil's Triangle
Instrumentals are the worst places to look for answers.
5. How can I make myself happy? Chaso no Umi - Shouzoushu no Omowaku
Something about expectation? What does shouzoushu stand for?
6. What should I do with my life? Dragonforce - Prepare for War
Best start polishing the ol' flintlock, then...
7. Will I ever have children? Naruto OST - Aito hi
Uhh...yeah. What?
8. What is some good advice for me? Dragonforce - Cry of the Brave
"Fly across the high seas and mountains / Rise above the golden horizon / Far away beyond the gates of space and time / Through the wastelands forever and on --"
...suddenly I feel a compelling urge to shed my shirt, oil my torso and go stand on a cliff with the sunset behind me.
9. How will I be remembered? Paleface - That's When
"I was this young kid in a hyperactive state of mind --"
10. What is my signature dancing song? John Williams - Welcome to Jurassic Park
Dance like a dinosaur! SMASH that floor, baby!
11. What do I think my current theme song is? Absoluuttinen Nollapiste - Yli 1000 erilaista kasvia
"Valita vielä siitäkin, ettei munkissa ollut liikaa hilloa"
12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Ayreon - The Dream Sequencer Reprise
Quite placid for a theme song, actually. (Surely you can't think me this boring? ;) This would've been a lot better as my funeral song...
13. What song will play at my funeral? Koji Kondo (Super Mario World soundtrack)- Koopa Junior Castle clear demo BGM
...alas, it was not to be.
14. What type of women/men do I like? Metallica - Ronnie
The scowling silent psychopathic type, apparently. (Wait, it's a song about a man. Oh shi-)
15. What is my day going to be like? Dimmu Borgig - Entrance
"A trip far beyond all pleasant dreams / A voyage through desolation sights"
One of those days again?
16. Will I ever have love again? Aavikko - Viitostie
All signs point to abuse of psychedelics or ADD...or both.
17. What type of sex life do I have? Colonel Claypool's Bucket of Bernie Brains - The Big Eyeball in the Sky
The peeping tom kind.
18. What song would be the title of my own porno movie? Purple Motion - Satellite One
Had it been "Rocket One" or even "Shuttle One" I would have been happy. Oh well, can't have everything.