loneliness + motivation = crzy shit that screws with my head
Just thinking about Organic Chem. makes me realize how much i want to get into an awesome med school. Preferably Johns Hopkins....no it has to be JH because i won't settle for anything less to be the foundation where i will sow my MD roots. I'm going to be the best damn doc that i can be and nothing.....NOTHING is going to stop me from standing at the top. Phew....if i can put more of that crzy motivation energy into actually doing o.chem i'd be kicking everyones' ass right now instead of wishing, hoping, praying that i got an A on the last exam. Haha, sometimes i just wish that the admissions ppl could see how much i want to be a doctor, my intense motivation in achieving my goal, and just let me the hell in!! Ahhhhh life is becoming so hectic and every little thing seems to matter so much in determining the course of my future. The reality of it all seems to have gained so much weight recently that i'm really surprised at how calmly i'm handling it. I suppose its all part of knowing what i'm going to be doing for the rest of my life. That concreteness just makes me feel assured and safe i guess. I'm finally not rambling around looking for a direction, feeling lost in a place where nothing seems familiar and everyone is distant. I'm on the way to find myself......and i'm excited ^_^