rambles.
i need to write some shit down, so i can clear my head, and so i can focus on the stuff i gotta do.
its pretty much all about school.. its stressing me out. like for real stress, i'm not just using it as a general term.
its about a month before finals, and for some reason, this semester, all of my teachers decide to have tests, and papers, and other shit due, all at the end of this month.
well, in french class today, all was dandy, till we got to learning something new. and i was following along ok and all, and i was trying my best to not pester katie continuously with my questions, cuz i know thats not fair of me, cuz she wants to learn french too. so, i was a lil confused about something, and i raised my hand. and my hand stayed in the air for a few minutes, and i was completely ignored by my teacher. we even have a teacher's assistant in the class, who i made eye contact with, while my hand was raised, and she ignored me too. the teacher was standing in the back of the class (i sit in the front), she was facing the front of the class, and asked if anyone had any questions... i raised my hand higher, and even waved it back and forth, and again, i was ignored. i put my hand down, and was on the verge of tears/getting up and leaving.
katie, you're probably gonna read this, so i just wanna make sure that you know, that i'm not mad at you, nor do i blame you for my frustrations. i know i've been a burden to you in class lately, cuz i ask so many questions, and that it distracts you from your own work. so i'm sorry for doing that.
it is however, the teachers job to help students, and she didnt. and when i got mixed up about a word, and was asking her to clarify, she pretty much was snotty to me. so hey, whatever. i'll learn it by myself, i might as well not even go to class anymore... its pretty pointless.
but i will keep going, and if i have a problem, or a question, i'm gonna raise my hand, and if i'm ignored again, i'm gonna bring it up to her.
i know that i dont get this stuff as fast as everyone else. i just wish ppl/teachers would understand that not every student is going to comprehend things the same way. and just because it takes me more time/work, doesnt mean i dont care, or that i'm stupid.
honestly, this has been building up for a few weeks now, but i held it all in, thinking i'll just learn it on my own, and try to deal with being a lil bit behind. but i've realized that i dont have to be, and that the teacher is there to help me... so when ever i was ignored today, it hurt, and it made me frustrated, and it made even going to school pointless.
i guess i'm being dramatic, but i gotta stand up for myself.
i just want to get this semester overwith and at least pass. and even tho i've been saying it for the past 2 semesters, this next semester, i'm going to change how i study, and how often i study. because i want to understand, and i want to do well in school.
i kinda wanna cry right now, just from writing all this, but i'm not going to. because theres no need to. i'll figure it all out, and i'll get through school.
i have a 6 page book report due tomorrow that i havent even started yet, so i should go do that.
p.s: i'm starting "the fat smash diet" tomorrow. its pretty strict and hardcore, but i'll be updating to share the results.
its pretty much all about school.. its stressing me out. like for real stress, i'm not just using it as a general term.
its about a month before finals, and for some reason, this semester, all of my teachers decide to have tests, and papers, and other shit due, all at the end of this month.
well, in french class today, all was dandy, till we got to learning something new. and i was following along ok and all, and i was trying my best to not pester katie continuously with my questions, cuz i know thats not fair of me, cuz she wants to learn french too. so, i was a lil confused about something, and i raised my hand. and my hand stayed in the air for a few minutes, and i was completely ignored by my teacher. we even have a teacher's assistant in the class, who i made eye contact with, while my hand was raised, and she ignored me too. the teacher was standing in the back of the class (i sit in the front), she was facing the front of the class, and asked if anyone had any questions... i raised my hand higher, and even waved it back and forth, and again, i was ignored. i put my hand down, and was on the verge of tears/getting up and leaving.
katie, you're probably gonna read this, so i just wanna make sure that you know, that i'm not mad at you, nor do i blame you for my frustrations. i know i've been a burden to you in class lately, cuz i ask so many questions, and that it distracts you from your own work. so i'm sorry for doing that.
it is however, the teachers job to help students, and she didnt. and when i got mixed up about a word, and was asking her to clarify, she pretty much was snotty to me. so hey, whatever. i'll learn it by myself, i might as well not even go to class anymore... its pretty pointless.
but i will keep going, and if i have a problem, or a question, i'm gonna raise my hand, and if i'm ignored again, i'm gonna bring it up to her.
i know that i dont get this stuff as fast as everyone else. i just wish ppl/teachers would understand that not every student is going to comprehend things the same way. and just because it takes me more time/work, doesnt mean i dont care, or that i'm stupid.
honestly, this has been building up for a few weeks now, but i held it all in, thinking i'll just learn it on my own, and try to deal with being a lil bit behind. but i've realized that i dont have to be, and that the teacher is there to help me... so when ever i was ignored today, it hurt, and it made me frustrated, and it made even going to school pointless.
i guess i'm being dramatic, but i gotta stand up for myself.
i just want to get this semester overwith and at least pass. and even tho i've been saying it for the past 2 semesters, this next semester, i'm going to change how i study, and how often i study. because i want to understand, and i want to do well in school.
i kinda wanna cry right now, just from writing all this, but i'm not going to. because theres no need to. i'll figure it all out, and i'll get through school.
i have a 6 page book report due tomorrow that i havent even started yet, so i should go do that.
p.s: i'm starting "the fat smash diet" tomorrow. its pretty strict and hardcore, but i'll be updating to share the results.