(no subject)
so i lost 3 lbs. but its just not how it was before.. i used to get on the scale every other week, and i'd be less. now, its just so up and down. i'm losing control.
i'm sooooo afraid i'm going to go back to my highest weight, then gain some more.
like, tonight, i was stoked, cuz i ate good, and went to the gym.. then i get home from the gym... and i go and make a crap load of mashed potatoes and stuffing. i really didn't wanna do it, but i had to.
i need someone to fucking punch in the face.. and say, "look bitch, you're fat, quit eating so much!!!!!" and then follow me around, and everytime i wanna overeat.. punch me again. i think that'd work. real good.
there's these 2 asian guys that sit in the same row as me in french class. and you can just tell theyre the kind that.. "hates" fat ppl. one day.. the one goes to the teacher.. "how do you say FAT?" idiot. and like, i'll walk past them, and the lean way way far away from me. whatever. it bugs me, cuz i'm no different from anyone else.. ya know.. i don't know, it hurts. alot.
i suppose i should stop the pity party now...
i'm sooooo afraid i'm going to go back to my highest weight, then gain some more.
like, tonight, i was stoked, cuz i ate good, and went to the gym.. then i get home from the gym... and i go and make a crap load of mashed potatoes and stuffing. i really didn't wanna do it, but i had to.
i need someone to fucking punch in the face.. and say, "look bitch, you're fat, quit eating so much!!!!!" and then follow me around, and everytime i wanna overeat.. punch me again. i think that'd work. real good.
there's these 2 asian guys that sit in the same row as me in french class. and you can just tell theyre the kind that.. "hates" fat ppl. one day.. the one goes to the teacher.. "how do you say FAT?" idiot. and like, i'll walk past them, and the lean way way far away from me. whatever. it bugs me, cuz i'm no different from anyone else.. ya know.. i don't know, it hurts. alot.
i suppose i should stop the pity party now...