An interview I had...
How old were you the last time you trick-or-treated?
5... I matured early.
If you were in a Band, what would you name it?
Curious George and the Bigots... (we would play Bluegrass music).
If I were a guest on "Jerry Springer," the topic would be...
"I'm Pregnant but I Still Want to Strip!"
How many times is it acceptable to wear a pair of pants before washing them?
3? This is such a "Seinfeld"/"Curb Your Enthusiasm" question.
If I were pregnant, I'd probably crave...
an abortion.
I've always wanted...
to invite a hobo to lunch.
If you had your own army of 1000 identical five year olds, what would you have them do?
Reenact the short film "The Gift" starring Karen Black. So funny. :)
I'm allergic to...
Grass, Bees, Roaches, Pollen, Mites (bed bugs), Wheat, Oats, Barley, Yeast, Gluten, Eggs, Soy, Beef, Milk, Cheese, Ice Cream, Butter/Margarine, Yogurt, all Fish and Seafood, Cottonseed Oil, and Alcohol/Liquor. I choose not to eat foods made with hydrogenated or enriched products and corn syrup because they're ridiculously unhealthy. I also choose not to eat pork. so... yeah
I'd be mortified if someone caught me...
I have no shame, so...
I'd describe my sense of humor as...
Unpredictable.
My first word was probably...
"Anthropomorphism" True story.
Ever broken a bone?
'Til this day, I still don't know how I broke the bone in my right index finger.
Quick! Make up a new pizza topping!
Swear to God, the first thing that came to my mind was "green."
What did you have for lunch yesterday?
Water and Amish, salted, mixed nuts. 22 more pounds to go, then I can walk in Milan!
I wish I had been born back in...
the 20's... But, I would have to be rich and... not have brown skin.
I'd like to smack...
just about everyone.
When you get stressed, what are you most likely to throw out the window?
Defenestration is a bit rash, don't you think?
The older I get, the more I...
yearn for a 'simple kind of life.'
I collect...
pennies.
What do you think you'll name your kids?
I'm not a fan of goats.
If you saw wet cement, what word would you write in it?
"Erosion"
People think that I'm...
dead.
What makes you smile?
Everything.
What would your Patronus be?
...huh? Are you referring to the social customs of Ancient Rome?
Do you play any instruments?
On occasion, the clarinet.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a marble?
Depends on whose licking it... seriously.
I usually go to bed around...
10pm... seriously.
What did your mom write on your lunch bag?
My nickname.
In retrospect, do you wish you had studied harder or had more fun?
I don't contemplate the past, so...
Truth or Dare?
... Depends on my mood
I believe in...
... you. Even if you don't trust or know yourself.
On a scale from 1 to crazy, I'm about a:
I'm going to let someone else take this one.
How many hours of sleep do you need?
9 to be at 100%, 5 to be functional.
Boys go to Jupiter to get more...
hydrogen?
I knew I was an adult when...
I was age eight.
In 10 years, I'll be...
42... I think. Sometimes I forget my age because I don't celebrate/remember my birthdate.
God is...
... hmm. I'm going to let someone else take this one, too.
Love or lust?
Both are fatiguing states of mind, so...
I wish I had never seen...
that guy's penis... I mean, seriously.
Quick! Make up a first name:
"Xi" (If I had a son, that would be his name. Well, either that or "Remy." A daughter: "Carmen.")
Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, is getting between me and my...
food, shower time, and rest periods.
What was your first live concert?
I've never been to a concert, live or previously recorded.
My hourly rate is...
I don't think ya'll could afford me.
Do you recycle?
No.
What's your favorite brand?
I try to stay away from brands.
When I want to be alone, I...
be alone.
What's your ideal climate?
70 Fahrenheit, bright sun, low humidity, blue skies with scattered clouds, an almost unnoticeable breeze... *le sigh* (so far it's only happened thrice)
If I woke up as the opposite sex, I'd...
start screaming, "Where's my penis?"
Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or smooth?
Depends on my mood.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Run away.
Pepsi or Coke?
Water.
When was the last time you threw up?
WOW! It's been a while.
What snack food can you scarf down a whole bag in one sitting?
I can scarf down any amount of food in one sitting. Don't be fooled by my size.
Which of the following describe you? Teenage? Mutant? Ninja? Turtle?
Mutant?
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
I think the more appropriate question would be: What wouldn't I do?
Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?
Both, please.
Where is Waldo?
Dude, I found him like a decade ago.
Glasses or contacts?
Both.
Would you rather have a fast forward or instant replay button for your life?
Instant replay! Oh, the hilarity.
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Again, with the goats! But seriously, an architect.
Paper, plastic, or re-usable?
Re-usable
Have you ever cheated on someone?
Nope, and never will.
What's the fastest you've ever driven?
154.49 kph
What's the first frivolous thing you'll buy when you're rich and famous?
I don't want to be either; and I'm cheap, so... this question isn't really working for me.
Why are there so many zombies on Facebook?
When did zombies discover the internet?
What's your favorite restaurant?
I don't have one.
Which of your Facebook friends have you made out with?
Ew. Oh, wait... OK, yeah back to my original answer. Ew.
I'm looking forward to...
eating, showering, and sleeping.
George W. Bush is...
the former President of the United States.
If I had a DeLorean, I'd...
OMG! LOL! A DeLorean DMC-12! *Dies 5 times* Really!?! (^_^) ... I would sell it.
If there were an extra hour in the day, I'd use it to...
eat, sleep or shower.
Who's a bigger pushover? Mom or Dad?
Father.
Shoes or sneakers?
Aren't sneakers, shoes?
5... I matured early.
If you were in a Band, what would you name it?
Curious George and the Bigots... (we would play Bluegrass music).
If I were a guest on "Jerry Springer," the topic would be...
"I'm Pregnant but I Still Want to Strip!"
How many times is it acceptable to wear a pair of pants before washing them?
3? This is such a "Seinfeld"/"Curb Your Enthusiasm" question.
If I were pregnant, I'd probably crave...
an abortion.
I've always wanted...
to invite a hobo to lunch.
If you had your own army of 1000 identical five year olds, what would you have them do?
Reenact the short film "The Gift" starring Karen Black. So funny. :)
I'm allergic to...
Grass, Bees, Roaches, Pollen, Mites (bed bugs), Wheat, Oats, Barley, Yeast, Gluten, Eggs, Soy, Beef, Milk, Cheese, Ice Cream, Butter/Margarine, Yogurt, all Fish and Seafood, Cottonseed Oil, and Alcohol/Liquor. I choose not to eat foods made with hydrogenated or enriched products and corn syrup because they're ridiculously unhealthy. I also choose not to eat pork. so... yeah
I'd be mortified if someone caught me...
I have no shame, so...
I'd describe my sense of humor as...
Unpredictable.
My first word was probably...
"Anthropomorphism" True story.
Ever broken a bone?
'Til this day, I still don't know how I broke the bone in my right index finger.
Quick! Make up a new pizza topping!
Swear to God, the first thing that came to my mind was "green."
What did you have for lunch yesterday?
Water and Amish, salted, mixed nuts. 22 more pounds to go, then I can walk in Milan!
I wish I had been born back in...
the 20's... But, I would have to be rich and... not have brown skin.
I'd like to smack...
just about everyone.
When you get stressed, what are you most likely to throw out the window?
Defenestration is a bit rash, don't you think?
The older I get, the more I...
yearn for a 'simple kind of life.'
I collect...
pennies.
What do you think you'll name your kids?
I'm not a fan of goats.
If you saw wet cement, what word would you write in it?
"Erosion"
People think that I'm...
dead.
What makes you smile?
Everything.
What would your Patronus be?
...huh? Are you referring to the social customs of Ancient Rome?
Do you play any instruments?
On occasion, the clarinet.
How many licks does it take to get to the center of a marble?
Depends on whose licking it... seriously.
I usually go to bed around...
10pm... seriously.
What did your mom write on your lunch bag?
My nickname.
In retrospect, do you wish you had studied harder or had more fun?
I don't contemplate the past, so...
Truth or Dare?
... Depends on my mood
I believe in...
... you. Even if you don't trust or know yourself.
On a scale from 1 to crazy, I'm about a:
I'm going to let someone else take this one.
How many hours of sleep do you need?
9 to be at 100%, 5 to be functional.
Boys go to Jupiter to get more...
hydrogen?
I knew I was an adult when...
I was age eight.
In 10 years, I'll be...
42... I think. Sometimes I forget my age because I don't celebrate/remember my birthdate.
God is...
... hmm. I'm going to let someone else take this one, too.
Love or lust?
Both are fatiguing states of mind, so...
I wish I had never seen...
that guy's penis... I mean, seriously.
Quick! Make up a first name:
"Xi" (If I had a son, that would be his name. Well, either that or "Remy." A daughter: "Carmen.")
Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING, is getting between me and my...
food, shower time, and rest periods.
What was your first live concert?
I've never been to a concert, live or previously recorded.
My hourly rate is...
I don't think ya'll could afford me.
Do you recycle?
No.
What's your favorite brand?
I try to stay away from brands.
When I want to be alone, I...
be alone.
What's your ideal climate?
70 Fahrenheit, bright sun, low humidity, blue skies with scattered clouds, an almost unnoticeable breeze... *le sigh* (so far it's only happened thrice)
If I woke up as the opposite sex, I'd...
start screaming, "Where's my penis?"
Do you like your peanut butter crunchy or smooth?
Depends on my mood.
What advice would you give your younger self?
Run away.
Pepsi or Coke?
Water.
When was the last time you threw up?
WOW! It's been a while.
What snack food can you scarf down a whole bag in one sitting?
I can scarf down any amount of food in one sitting. Don't be fooled by my size.
Which of the following describe you? Teenage? Mutant? Ninja? Turtle?
Mutant?
If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
I think the more appropriate question would be: What wouldn't I do?
Five star hotel or a tent in the woods?
Both, please.
Where is Waldo?
Dude, I found him like a decade ago.
Glasses or contacts?
Both.
Would you rather have a fast forward or instant replay button for your life?
Instant replay! Oh, the hilarity.
When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up?
Again, with the goats! But seriously, an architect.
Paper, plastic, or re-usable?
Re-usable
Have you ever cheated on someone?
Nope, and never will.
What's the fastest you've ever driven?
154.49 kph
What's the first frivolous thing you'll buy when you're rich and famous?
I don't want to be either; and I'm cheap, so... this question isn't really working for me.
Why are there so many zombies on Facebook?
When did zombies discover the internet?
What's your favorite restaurant?
I don't have one.
Which of your Facebook friends have you made out with?
Ew. Oh, wait... OK, yeah back to my original answer. Ew.
I'm looking forward to...
eating, showering, and sleeping.
George W. Bush is...
the former President of the United States.
If I had a DeLorean, I'd...
OMG! LOL! A DeLorean DMC-12! *Dies 5 times* Really!?! (^_^) ... I would sell it.
If there were an extra hour in the day, I'd use it to...
eat, sleep or shower.
Who's a bigger pushover? Mom or Dad?
Father.
Shoes or sneakers?
Aren't sneakers, shoes?