Confessions of an Over-Dramatic Neurotic and How He Finally Got What He Wanted - Chapter 6
Pairing: YunJae, YooMinSu
Length: Chaptered
Genre: Romance, AU, Humor, Fluff.
Rating: PG-13 for now. NC-17 later
Warnings: Language, Crack?, Diva!Jae
Disclaimer: If I owned them. I'd be having my way with them right now...not writing this. :/ I own the plot though. So no copy right intended.
Summary: Kim Jaejoong lies. It's what he does. But the one thing that he's always been honest about (well at least to himself) is finding his other half. His one true love.
So, when he meets Jung Siwon, he thinks he's done it...finally found the one. However, things hit the roof when Siwon's younger brother (and Jaejoong's childhood friend) comes home from America and pulls Jaejoong with him into a world that even he couldn't possibly make up... because let's face it, Yunho's out to make an honest man out of the liar...and he's going to give Jaejoong everything he's ever wanted. If not always in the way everyone expects.
A/N: This fic is officially off hiatus. That means regular updates *yayyy*
Prologue: Liar, Liar. Pants on fire. Chapter 1: Vicks Cough Syrup, Chapter 2: Kim Heechul, Chapter 3: Feels like home, Chapter 4: Mistakes, Chapter 5: Misunderstandings
Yunho’s Journal Blog Entry #2
Hello everyone,
This is Yunho.
I've finally figured out a better way of typing the story out. Changmin taught me. He says that I shouldn’t fall to Jaejoong’s level of illegible internet spiel and instead give the readers some room to breathe with something remotely resembling actual sentences.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: “illegible spiel”?! Big words for a big dick. My Yunnie has the biggest dick though. I should know. I see everyday. It’s all smooth and-)
(Heechul’s Edit: Please shut the fuck up.)
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Anyway, see if I let him into the house. He can starve outside for all I care.)
Jaejoong’s decided he’s too sick to update his journal today (but we all know he’s lying)
(Jaejoong’s Edit: I AM NOT LYING, YOU BRAINLESS IDIOT, AKA: LOVE OF MY LIFE).
His sick days usually fall on the days he has to visit the ‘rents.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Mother, Father (and in-laws) - if you are reading this, Yunho is vilifying me. I am innocent.)
So I’ll be taking over for today.
Now from what I’ve gathered after going through an impressive amount of senseless babble, is that sweet, adorable, cute as hell, love of my life, my moon and my stars, the strawberry to my ice-cream, tramp to my lady, Bagheera to my Balloo (they were married, istg, do not question it), Jaejoong was making a mess out of life, while poor Heechul-
(Jaejoong edit: HE’S NOT POOR ANYTHING, HE’S AN STD CARRYING MOFO WITH A HIDDEN AGENDA)
-was out to defend my honour.
But the silly thing about love is, you accept the faults of the person you’re in love with and either work on them or embrace them and move on (Jaejoong’s Edit: I have no faults. Your face has faults. No, that’s a lie, you have the best face in the world, I love you my sweet potato).
I’ve known Jaejoong for most of our entire lives and the fact is, everybody knew exactly how Jaejoong was, the man could barely look beyond his perfect little nose
(Jaejoong’s Edit: You’re my little pooh pooh bear, ily.I think your nose is perfect too, my Yunnie-Bear *kisses*.)
(Heechul’s Edit: Dear Readers, they’ve been like this since the announcement of the wedding. It’s truly the most disgusting thing I’ve seen to date. As for the two lovesick idiots, please get a room and stop torturing the internet with your disgusting cutesy bile. There’s only so much people can take before they throw up in their own mouths)
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Heechul, please go to hell and stay there.)
I’m starting to wonder if I should give up writing and let Heechul and Jaejoong take over. After all, they’re sitting right behind me and yelling into my ear as I type. (Heechul&Jaejoong’s Edit: We are not.)
Anyway, point is, Heechul wasn’t as upset as he made himself out to be because:
- He liked watching Jaejoong suffer
- He loved yelling at Jaejoong for no reason
- He loves me more (Jaejoong’s Edit: From a distance of 20 feet, as per our agreement) (Heechul’s Edit: Imma kiss him on the mouth just for that) (Jaejoong’s Edit: They’re going to find your body in the Han).
- He knew how much Jaejoong loved me and understood that the other needed a push in the right direction.
And hence, the passionate outburst. Heechul really does deserve an award for that bit of acting.
How about we just go back in time and see how things were panning out on our end.
Flashback-Time:
“I’m going to skin Kim Jaejoong alive. He’s a fucking A-class idiot,” Heechul muttered as he thrust his bag into my arms hissing ‘carry it’ before moving on to his tirade,
“Only an idiot like you would fall in love with a prissy little bitch from hell. I mean how the fuck dare he speak about you like that? Especially after breaking your poor, fragile little fluff ball of a heart by asking Siwonnie out."
“Yeah, but he’s a sexy prissy little bitch from hell and he hasn’t broken anything yet. He needs to work through everything, and if going out with Siwon-Hyung is the way he’s going to do it, then that’s fine by me ,” I laughed, pulling Heechul into a one-armed hug as he mumbled darkly under his breath.
“It doesn’t bother you that he talks about you like that behind your back? Or that he’s going out on a date with your brother?"
Of course it hurts. It hurts because I can’t help but think that for him, the thought of loving me over Siwon, seems so difficult to do. Like I’m not enough. It hurts because I have to play these games to make him look at me differently. To make him understand.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: nononono, my baby, I loved you then more that you would even believe, I was stupid okay? You’re my bae, the Jay-Z to my Beyonce, the sun to my moon, the Neil Patrick Harris to my David Burtka *cuddles you*)
I laughed a little hollowly, “Nah, I’ve figured out that this is how he deals with things when they go wrong."
“Poor you."
“Poor me, indeed,” I sighed, shaking my head and slinging Heechul’s bag over my other shoulder.
“You should have seen his face though, he looked like he was going to cut a bitch when I kissed you."
“As much as I love you, can you please not do that again? My brother may ignore your antics, but even I think there’s only so much he can take."
“Psshhh,” Heechul snorted, “Son, I called your brother and the love of my life last night to tell him what I was going to be up to. He said and I quote “Spare me the details, love. As long as you get Yunho’s love life sorted you can do whatever you want.” So there."
I rolled my eyes heavenward. Hannie’s and Heechul’s relationship was the weirdest. But they were perfect for each other, so it worked.I sighed in defeat and prayed, wondering what I’d managed to get myself into, “You think making Jaejoong seethe with jealousy is going to help get us together is that it?"
“Of course, Mon Cher. You asking me to stop making him jealous at lunch did nothing to improve your tragic future. So we’re sticking to my plan. Plus, if that doesn’t work, I wonder how long it will take Jaejoong to realise that Siwon’s straighter than Marcia Cross’s hair in season one of Desperate Housewives?"
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Listen here, okay? Siwon’s in fucking denial about his sexuality. My gaydar is top-notch, it does not fail.)
(Heechul’s Edit: Yes, which is why he’s having his second daughter with the woman he’s so head over heels in love with that he ends up getting a stupid dopey expression every time she enters the room.)
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Oh, shut up, you whore.)
“Whatever you say, Heechul. Whatever you say."
End Flashback
So, as you can see, Jaejoong’s behaviour didn’t exactly have the dramatic impact that I’ll bet some of you thought would happen, but Heechul was out to make him beg on his knees.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Imma beg you on my knees, alright, as soon as you get off the internet, with my mouth, while I-)
(Heechul’s Edit: Oh hell nah! You cockslut, go cool off. Nobody needs to hear you fantasising over Yunho’s dick.)
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Okay, one, if there are children reading this then they obviously know more than they’re letting on. And two, Fuck you.)
*sighs* As tiring as the two of them are, there’s never room for boredom. It’s like watching animals in the wild, fighting for some meat.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Your meat’s all mine. Hee-demon ain’t getting his greasy paws anywhere near your meat. I’m the fucking king of that jungle *rawr*)
(Heechul’s Edit: Thanks for that imagery.)
(Changmin’s Edit: You two need to be locked up in an asylum.)
Anyway, back to the rest of what happened.
So the plan was set, Siwon-Hyung would take Jaejoong out for dinner, Heechul and I would “coincidentally” land up at the same place for our own “date”.
The plan went-
At least it was interesting. OTL
Flashback:
Heechul and I walked into the restaurant, trying to act oblivious to the fact that an uncomfortable looking Siwon-Hyung and an ecstatic Jaejoong were sitting like four tables away from the door.
I tried to suppress a shudder at the smirk on Heechul’s face as he glanced sparingly at them, while watching Siwon fail to the same.
Nobody messed with Heechul. Ever. It was like facing up to Lucifer without having God on your side.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Ha. Lucifer would be Heechul’s bitch.)
(Heechul’s Edit: I’ll take that as a compliment.)
(Jaejoong’s Edit: Please don’t.)
We sat down two tables away from the other two and I tried not to jump out of my skin when Heechul stated in an obnoxiously loud voice, “Oh, Yunnie, you’re so bad!! I can’t believe you did that, you naughty boy!"
I tried to fight the eye-roll that was dying to make it to my face.
Heechul reached over the span of the small table and stroked my cheek with the back of his knuckles, “You’re so dirty, Yunnie, why are we having dinner here when you promised me a great night at the Jung Resort…"
(Jaejoong’s Edit: *throws up*)
I was about to reply when I heard the distinct sound of bending metal coming from the right. I turned my head and found Jaejoong glaring murderously back at us, his spoon bent in half.
“Well shit,” Heechul whispered softly under his breath before smiling politely (Jaejoong’s Edit: *snorts* as IF) at the two of them before leaning towards me as if getting ready to kiss me again.
“You keep your nasty lips away from him, Kim Heechul!” Jaejoong shrieked when he realised what was going to happen, flinging his chair backwards and stomping his way towards us.
“Aren’t you being a little rude leaving Siwonnie-Hyung half-way through your date, to interrupt mine?” Heechul drawled, continuing to trace patterns across my cheek.
“I-"
“You what?” Heechul mocked, “You can’t make up your mind? Is that it? Didn’t I tell you that you weren’t worthy of Yunho’s affections? Hmm? So why are you screaming at me like I’m the one who did something wrong? You’re here on your date. I’m here on mine."
“Yunho’s mine!” Jaejoong shouts, breathing hard with frustrated tears in his eyes, “I really like Siwon-Hyung, but Yunho’s mine! You can’t have him. He’s never been yours to have. So stay away from him!"
I felt a spike of unexpected anger at hearing that.
Kim Jaejoong was a stupid, insensitive, lying liar, who had me wrapped around his perfect little finger. But this really was too much.
“Is that fair to me?” I asked, finally pulling away from Heechul and getting up to face Jaejoong, ignoring the whispers from the few patrons left in the restaurant.
“You think it’s okay to go out with Siwon-Hyung and do whatever you want, but it’s not okay when I do the same thing? I’m not your property, Kim Jaejoong. I’m a man too. I have feelings too. I get jealous and hurt too. Make up your mind and don’t yell at Heechul for doing what you’re too chicken shit to try yourself."
I knew I was going way off script and Heechul’s wide-eyed look was enough of a testament to that fact, but I really was tired.
These games weren’t something I, as a person, was capable of playing. Heechul and Jaejoong could have pissing contests whenever they wanted, but I was getting really tired of getting caught in the middle.
Jaejoong looked at me betrayed, as if he just couldn’t comprehend that I’d chosen to defend Heechul over him.
“You- but-"
“Do you love me? Yes or no?” I asked finally, willing my heart to stop beating out of my chest.
“I-“ Jaejoong whispered, biting his lip and then glancing back at Siwon-Hyung who looked mighty interested in how this was going to pan out.
“Is it that hard to tell me how you feel?” I wondered, reaching out to pull Jaejoong’s face back to mine, “Don’t you want to be with me? Did Heechul really win?"
I could see the war waging in his eyes, and I couldn’t understand why it was so hard for him. Weren’t we always like this? Haven’t we always been in love? So why is he fighting this so hard?
I felt more than saw Jaejoong wrap his arms around my neck, allowing him to rest his head against my clavicle.
“He can’t have you."
I sighed miserably and pulled myself away.
I now understood that this wasn’t how to get him to admit his feelings. He was a fool and a liar. Honesty to him meant being vulnerable, and I needed to show him that we were stronger together, and these games would only push him into feeling more and more insecure.
“Where are you going?” I heard him whimper as I turned to walk away.
“I’m going for a walk. I need to think."
“Wait! Yunho!” He shouted desperately, a tinge of fear coating his words.
I turned around and smiled at him softly, “Heechul’s engaged to Hannie-Hyung, Jae. He was just trying to make you understand how you felt about me. But I think it’s safe to say that you really haven’t understood anything. I’m sorry you felt scared. I’ll see you guys in school."
With that I turned and walked away.
End Flashback.
Okay, we obviously lied. That got a wee bit dramatic at the end there.
But what do you expect? This is a story about Jaejoong. If there wasn’t any drama, then this would be a gross re-telling of his life.
Either way, everything had finally been left out in the open. There was nothing left to hide.
All I wanted was for Jaejoong to give in to his feelings. But it was understandable that for a person who spent practically all his life lying, facing the truth was borderline catastrophic.
To know what happened next, you’ll need a lot of Jaejoong’s perspective. The metaphorical “ball” was after all in his “park”.
(Jaejoong’s Edit: I’d like your balls somewhere else entirely, if you don’t mind.)
(Heechul’s Edit: I MIND. THE READERS MIND. PLEASE STOP.)
Bye for now,
See you soon!!
Love,
Yunho.
P.s: Jaejoong wants to show off our wedding-invite. Feel free to come, but be warned, groom-zilla is going to be on the loose.
(Changmin's Edit: I'm still laughing at the fact their wedding is on Halloween.)
(Heechul's Edit: It suits Jaejoong perfectly, if you ask me.)
(Jaejoong's Edit: NOBODY ASKED YOU, YOU STD.)