Breaking Even - Chapter 5
Title: Breaking Even
Pairing: YooMin, YunJae, BFF!YooSu, Changmin-Centric
Length: Chaptered
Rating: R
Genre: Horror, Romance, Drama, Heavy!Angst, Band!Fic, Dark!Themes, Tragedy (Not Character Death)
Warnings: Strong Triggers. Violence, Sasaeng-culture, Rape, Torture, BDSM, Drugs, Language, PTSD.
Disclaimer : The Boys - Yeah. Right. The plot - All mine, any resemblance to any other work is purely coincidental.
Summary A sasaeng fan is out to get the boys. Feeding on the insecurities of the youngest member, she draws him and the other four into a world that's worse than death and the very reflection of hell on Earth.
Chapter 5:
Blood.
Everywhere.
“Be careful…”
“Don’t slip.”
So much blood.
It’s so beautiful.
Crimson.
Thick.
Fluid.
It’s power.
This red.
Is so powerful.
“Oh man…”
“He tried to kill himself.”
“I told you not to untie him!”
“He was going to rip his wrists into HALF! What was I supposed to do?! Let him?!”
“Reflex would have made him stop!! His body wouldn’t have let him hurt himself!”
“Fat load of good that did, you cunt! Look at him, he’s bleeding all over the fucking floor!”
“Fucking ass fuck, what did you just call me?!”
“CUNT. C-U-N-T! Because that’s exactly what you are, you fucked up whore! You were the one who just HAPPENED to leave A FUCKING KNIFE RIGHT NEXT TO HIM!”
“ENOUGH!”
“OR WHAT, YOU MURDEROUS, FOUL BI-?!! “STOP FIGHTING!!!” “SHUT UP, YOU ASSHOLE!”
“THERE YOU GO AGAIN! TELLING EVERYONE ELSE WHAT TO DO-!”
“GUYS!! GUYS!! ENOUGH ALREADY!! I think we should get him to a hospital or something…”
“Are you crazy?”
Changmin blinked.
Eyes blurry, body numb.
Cold.
It was that kid again…
“Why, Tae Joon, is your mad love for Choikang making you want to save your princess?”
Tae Joon…that’s his name.
“This wasn’t supposed to go this far and you know it!! We can’t have his death on our heads!! We’re just high school students!!”
Convenient.
So.
Fucking.
Convenient.
High school students who can’t be murderers…but who can be kidnappers and rapists.
Double standards.
Hypocrisy.
The misconstrued nature of society.
It’s questionable, isn’t it, Choikang?
What’s wrong?
What’s right?
What’s adult?
What’s child-like?
High schoolers who think like adults. But if they were caught… They’d be tried like children.
Not quite eighteen they would say.
And you? Lying beaten, battered, bruised and oh so scarred…
You’d say - So what? They knew EXACTLY what they were doing.
“We’re not taking him to the hospital. We’ll buy some fucking bandages and fix him up.” “
Yeah. Taejoon, you can stay with him and kiss him better.”
Laughing.
They’re laughing at him.
Foot steps. 1…2…3…4… The damp basement resounded with the sound of the slamming of a door; as four out of five left.
Heavy breathing accompanied by the shallow breathing of a broken soul enveloped the room in its entirety; the dripping of a broken faucet being their only company… Something to fill in the silence. Something to accompany the march of Death.
“Taejoon…” Changmin whispered, mouth torn and dry, his jaw a broken mess, barely allowing him to make the broken words.
The boy started and turned towards the singer in fear.
“Taejoon-ah, let me go…please…I’m going to die….if…I stay…here…please let me go…”
“…”
“You don’t want this… I know you don’t….”
“Shut up. Stop talking to me. Just cover your wrist before you bleed to death.”
I want to die, you idiot.
I want to.
So fucking badly.
Die! Die! DIE!!
“I will die, Taejoon-ah…I will, eventually. I can’t live like this…never like this…you have to help me.”
“I can’t. They’ll kill me.”
Let them!
“You love me…you’re…in love…with…me, right? Then, help me…please…”
“I-I…I can’t. You don’t know what they’ll do to me…”
I don’t care. I’m sorry, but I don’t care…
“I will…always…love you… for this… Taejoon…if you save me…I’ll always love you…”
“B-but the game…Mi- that girl…she isn’t done with you…she hasn’t finished the game…”
“Game?”
“She made a bet, that she’d have at least two members at her mercy by the end of this month. She made the bet with the other fans.”
No way. No fucking way is that happening.
“She said, that the one that loves Choikang the most, would fall right into our hands and that …and that after she managed to blackmail the other three members into giving out their secrets and playing her guessing games to find you two…then she’d let you’ll go…”
God no. What is this? How is this normal? How-what is happening?
“She said…she promised me that you’d fall in love with me…and that…each of the other members…would fall in love with the others…”
Sick. Sick. Sick.
They’re sick in the head.
“She said that all it would take for you’ll to love us…is to really see us…”
I see filth.
I see filth and dirt and blood and gore and wrong.
“S-she was right, Taejoon-ah…I do… love you, you’ve shown me wha-what a beautiful soul yo-you have…bu-but I need to go home, I need to live…so t-that I can tell everyone…everyone how much you mean to me…”
You liar.
Look at that gleam of happiness in that monster’s eyes.
Look at him being in “love”.
It’s so…trivial to you, isn’t it?
That he means nothing.
That your words mean nothing.
It’s disgusting.
He’s disgusting.
“B-but…”
“Please…”
Changmin watched the boy get up and walk over to him. He watched as one of his rapists untied the last of the remaining ropes around his leg.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
“Thank you.”
“I want you to know…that I would happily die for you, Hyung…and that it means more than my life, for you to love me for even a fraction of the time I’ve loved you.”
So easily swayed.
A man in love.
Minnie.
Don’t call me that.
Never.
You will never have that right.
“I’m glad…thank you, Tae- thank you. I will never forget you.”
Not you.
Not those vile creatures.
I can’t feel anything anymore….I can’t breathe… If he doesn’t let me go now…I’m going to die… Too much blood… Too much lost.
“Before…before you leave…could I have a kiss?
No. No. Nonononononono.
“Yeah…yeah…” Changmin fought down the rising bile as he felt the other press his chapped lips against his own blood coated ones. Invaded and violated.
Tongue against bruised tongue; they kissed for minutes until the other pulled away, a satisfied look on his too young a face.
“Come on.”
x
“Run!! Now!!”
“They’re coming!! RUN!!!”
“GET TO THE CITY BEFORE THEY SEE YOU!! THEY WON’T TOUCH YOU ONCE YOU’RE IN THE CITY!”
Run.
Jaejoong gasped.
He sat up in bed, his white shirt clinging to his sweat drenched form as he clutched nervously at his throat, still raw from his unintentional, dream-provoked shout.
He started when he felt Yunho place a comforting hand against his back and wondered dazedly as to why each day seemed to reflect the one gone by.
Fear…Comfort…Fear…Comfort…Fear, fear and more fear.
“What’s wrong?” His lover asked sleepily, his eyes half-shut and mouth impossibly dry.
“Changmin…”
“Jaejoong…” the younger sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair, “It’s been two weeks, you can’t keep doing this to yourself. You need to sleep, you need to eat, and you need to live in a place other than your nightmares. This isn’t healthy, Jaejoong-ah”
“But Changm-“
“No, Jae. The cops are doing their job. They’ll find him. You have to have faith in that. We’re going to go out of our minds if we obsess over what’s happening. He needs us to be strong for him.”
Jaejoong felt an irrational spark of anger surge through his body.
Anger?
Is little Joongie angry?
Nobody cares more than you do…
Everybody’s forgetting your precious Maknae
Even the supposed love of his life is seeking comfort in some other man’s arms…
What are you going to do, JaeJae?
You’re the only one who cares…
“Don’t preach to me, Yunho. It might be easy for you to push your problems on to someone else and get a good night’s sleep, but don’t think for one second that I can do the same.”
“Jae! That’s not what-!
“What?! WHAT, YUNHO?! THIS IS NOT OKAY, ALRIGHT?! HE’S MISSING! HE’S HURT!! HE’S PROBABLY DEAD FOR ALL WE KNOW BECAUSE GOD ALONE KNOWS I WOULD BE IF I WERE AT THE MERCY OF SOME DERANGED FANS THAT WERE CUTTING ME UP FOR SOME KIND OF DISGUSTING, SADISTIC PLEASURE!” he shouted, scrambling out of bed and searching for his pants.
“Jaejoong where are you going?!”
“To think!” The older yelled, buttoning his jeans and heading for the door, “Don’t follow me or I swear to God I’ll make a scene in front of everybody.”
“Jaejoong!”
“GO TO SLEEP! I’LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR!”
Hands trembling, breath fogging, Jaejoong ran. The need to feel something other than fear and anger pushing his legs further and further as he cut through crowds of camped out fan-girls and pedestrians to God knows where. He could barely see with the tears and rain blurring his vision but he didn’t care.
He couldn’t.
It was so hard. So hard to believe that he was the only one who cared.
Why didn’t Yoochun care?
Why wasn’t Yoochun the one being plagued by nightmares?
Why wasn’t he as distraught over this?
How could he lay in Junsu’s arms and close himself off from the world, when all Jaejoong could do was relive every cry of Changmin’s repeatedly in every thought and every dream?
Run boy! Run! Far away!
Try to get away!
Run!!
“STOP IT!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!”
Paranoid and frightened… Aren’t you a strange little boy..?
“Changmin-ah! Changmin!!!!”
Everyone thinks you’re crazy Look at those people staring at you Aren’t you ashamed?! You’re shameless, filthy and uncontrolled.
“Hyung…”
“ENOUGH!”
“Hyung!”
“I can hear you. I can. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry…” Jaejoong sobbed as he continued to run, soaked in the rain, beaten by the wind.
“Hyung!”
“JAEJOONG-HYUNG!”
Jaejoong turned into a dark alley way, his legs screaming for purchase. He stumbled and fell to the ground, his palms and knees skidding painfully against the stone of the asphalt as he felt shock course through his system, his eyes wide as he stared stunned at the dirt on the ground.
“Hyung..”
Weaker but closer…realer…I’m going mad…I’m actually going mad…Yunho was right..
“Jaejoongie-Hyung…” a choked, relieved sob, “Hyung..”
“Oh God..Oh God…Oh sweet lord…” he mumbled, finally daring to look up, pushing his wet hair back and ignoring the sting of his scratched palms.
“Hyung. Help me, Hyung.”
“Oh God…Changmin-ah… Changminnie, oh God, it’s you…it’s really you…oh God…” the older whispered, staring dazedly at the battered form in front of him, unconsciously reaching out to touch the brutalizedface of his youngest member, “You’re alive…I can’t believe it…you’re here…”
“Hyung” the exhausted boy sobbed, leaning his head against the older member’s shoulder and crying hysterically into the wet folds of the other’s shirt.
“Changmin!” Jaejoong cried out, the gravity of the situation bearing down on him as he pulled the other tight against him, “Oh baby…” he sobbed, pressing hard kisses against the other’s head and face, while trying to pull him even closer, as if trying to merge their bodies together, “Thank you, Lord. Oh baby, you’re back… Minnie…”
“Hyung… I can’t…breathe…”
“Hyung help me please…” His voice was fainter than the sound of a butterfly’s wing-beat.
Jaejoong felt his heart stutter as he felt Changmin become dead weight in his arms. “Min? What’s wrong? ….Changmin?” The older looked down at the boy in his arms. Blood. Pale. More blood. Oh god. No. Not like this… Please… No.
“Tick…Tock…the clock’s ticking…”
Jaejoong tried to stop shaking as he reached into his pocket for his phone.
That’s right.Call the hospital. Let them hear you weep. He’s dying. He’s dying!! Shout it out loud so that the stars can hear.Your maknae. Dead.
What do I do?
What if they don’t get here in time…?
Help me. Yunho would be worried… Yunho would help… He was right… 60 missed calls.
Concerned for you…not for the precious boy in your arms… Funny isn’t it?
He called the man back.
“Yun-“
“Where are you?!! Do you realize how worried I’ve been?! Jaejoong you can’t just decide to disappear like-!”
“I found him, Yunho…” Jaejoong sobbed.
“Found who? Jaejoong, I didn’t peg you for being this irresponsible but-“
“I found Changmin.”
“What?”
“I found Changmin, Yunho.”
Static. One, two, three…
“Is he okay?!”
“I think he’s dead, Yunho…” Jaejoong whispered, his palms covering Changmin’s wrist in a vice like grip.
“Or he’s dying…and the ambulance hasn’t come yet…Yunho…”
“Where are you? Jaejoong get him to the hospital! Do something, now!”
“Help me, Yunho. Help him.”
“Tell me where you are."
That isn't Yunho's voice.