Where did it all go wrong?
The last day or two has been living hell for me. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't do a fucking thing but think about him. Holy fucking moly, I just don't understand what happened. One day me and him were friends, and then the next day it all blows up and shit hits the fan. In just a few seconds, the way you feel can change forever.
Leaf_Nation: i have to go home,
Leaf_Nation: mike fogolin died
the_real_slim_shady_88: right. lol
God. I would do anything to take those few fucking words back, but I can't. And the weird thing is, it came out all wrong in the first place. It was supposed to be like this:
Leaf_Nation: i have to go home,
the_real_slim_shady_88: right. lol
Leaf_Nation: mike fogolin died
But then I come back like 4 hours later, and he won't listen to a word I have to say. I didn't mean it for any of that shit to happen. God, I must have gone from being the most happy person in the world to being the most fucking depressed person in the world in just a couple of hours. I was, and still am, really really really upset.
Yeah, and it's all because im so insecure, sometimes I could just grow up inside, but I can't. I dunno. When I asked him if he wanted to meet, and he said "if you do just tell me", I dunno, I just felt really happy.
When he said "i have to go home," I thought he was just using that as an excuse to get out of meeting me. And the idea that a kid our age would die, and the fact that it was just an awful coincidence... yeah. After that, shit hit the fan. :(
And there's nothing that I can possibly say or do that would ever make him believe me. Maybe if I try again in a month or so. I'm just not the type to let things slip like that though. When somebody means something to me, I won't let our friendship die like that.
Mmm, she was right. It was a good idea to do this. I feel a little bit better, but it doesn't stop the hurt. It feels like its too late to do anything about it though.
Leaf_Nation: i have to go home,
Leaf_Nation: mike fogolin died
the_real_slim_shady_88: right. lol
God. I would do anything to take those few fucking words back, but I can't. And the weird thing is, it came out all wrong in the first place. It was supposed to be like this:
Leaf_Nation: i have to go home,
the_real_slim_shady_88: right. lol
Leaf_Nation: mike fogolin died
But then I come back like 4 hours later, and he won't listen to a word I have to say. I didn't mean it for any of that shit to happen. God, I must have gone from being the most happy person in the world to being the most fucking depressed person in the world in just a couple of hours. I was, and still am, really really really upset.
Yeah, and it's all because im so insecure, sometimes I could just grow up inside, but I can't. I dunno. When I asked him if he wanted to meet, and he said "if you do just tell me", I dunno, I just felt really happy.
When he said "i have to go home," I thought he was just using that as an excuse to get out of meeting me. And the idea that a kid our age would die, and the fact that it was just an awful coincidence... yeah. After that, shit hit the fan. :(
And there's nothing that I can possibly say or do that would ever make him believe me. Maybe if I try again in a month or so. I'm just not the type to let things slip like that though. When somebody means something to me, I won't let our friendship die like that.
Mmm, she was right. It was a good idea to do this. I feel a little bit better, but it doesn't stop the hurt. It feels like its too late to do anything about it though.