i hope you change your mind... cause my fandom is falling apart.
it's getting on me, i really don't know why, it just does...
Title: Broken Dulcet
Pairing: Akame, RyoKame
Rating: G (for this chapter)
Genre: the angst
Word Count: 1,234 ... seriously.
Disclaimer: no owning, it's still illegal.
Summary: It should have been perfect, he and Jin...
Jin only wished he could take everything back...
A/N: Something for my current mood that i wanna get this out, it's nothing awesome but.. yeah..
also un-beta-ed cause don't wanna bother Lynna-chan and she asked for this a while back,,,...
and the angst, cause the world around me is crumbling into ruins.. dunno if i'm good at this but here's another try~
excuse the mistakes ^^;
"I'm sorry, I just have to do this, I need space… I guess, to grow… and I want to do this…” A hurtful pause hung in the air; Kame had lowered his head now and had turned off the stove that cooked their meal for the evening. “…alone.” Jin finishes lamely.
Kame, as discreetly as possible clears the sudden hoarseness of his throat and holds up, with everything his got, the tears that are inevitable.
"Uhm,.. Okay..." He says, voice broken and small and pitiful and he sniffs as quietly as he can manage; making sure that the other doesn't see his face. Jin can’t see him cry now, not now.
He turns his back from Jin and quickly grabs a food container with unsteady hands, he then quietly packed most of the newly cooked and still steaming pasta that he had especially cooked for Jin. Then grabbing other things from the pantry, he hands Jin a bag still with his head lowered, and hands visibly shaking.
“..H-here, shops are c-closed.. now… so just- j-just take it …” Kame stands there, before Jin, with his hand outstretched with the bag and the other behind him, grapping support from the edge of the counter, his knees are growing weak by the second.
“..no, no, it’s alright..” Jin stupors, an indescribable feeling rising through him, seeing Kame like this, seeming out of place and vulnerable. “… it’s okay.” He tries to assure.
“Justpleasetakeit… ah-and close the door, w-when you le-leave.” Just barely containing the shaking of his shoulders, he turns as quickly as possible when Jin finally accepts the bag. Leaning on the sink and closing his eyes. Trying helplessly to stand upright and think, think for all his worth that maybe this was just a nightmare, those ones that he has when he has too much free time that his mind wanders to the past movies he’d seen with his mom, sad love stories that ended with so much hurt that he sees silent tears in his mother’s eyes.
He hears disappearing footsteps and the sound of a rustle, maybe the bag he’d given and then the door, closing. Leaving him bereft and of nothing. He felt numb and shallow. He felt empty. Empty because Jin had taken with him his heart and soul.
He feels nothing.
---
The next day, the rest of Japan talked of Jin’s scheduled departure, his manager makes up something that supposedly came from Kame, kind hopes for his trip and such, along with the rest of the band’s well-wishes.
And then at the airport, the same crowd bids him to have a safe trip and to come back quickly and with more knowledge. Some of them knowing well that someone was deeply hurting, yet those some ones let Kame be, knowing full well that their sympathy, company and offers of ‘everything is gonna be alright’ will pass through deft ears… if they got him to even open the door for them, that is.
---
Opening his dried eyes, Kame wondered what day it was, or if there was still daylight. Sometime after Jin had left, he passed out in his bedroom, now bare of the warmth it always used to have, he remembers waking up at some point, and he remembers feeling his tears falling without his consent. And remembering not being able to stop the wrecking of his entire body, crying silently in the dark, vaguely registering to himself that the paste he’d cooked had been spoiled since he knew he had not got up for more than a day. Now his tears had dried, so was the pillow, Jin’s pillow that he had been laying his head on. There is still the lingering saltiness in his eyes and nose and throat but had cared less of it.
It’s was really over, isn’t it..? He asked himself.
He thought of the baseball field he used to frequent as a kid and smiled bitterly, getting up and opening the blinds. He looks down from the fourteenth floor of the apartment complex and still more a few minutes, closing his eyes and leaning his entire weight on the glass, shutting out the whole world for a few minutes.
Then he opens his eyes again and goes on to making the bed, he had a lot to do, to make up for the time he’d spent doing nothing. Twenty minutes later found Kame in the bathroom, hunched over the toilet and furiously scrubbing the grime that has accumulated there, the tub had been thoroughly polished, so is the lavatory and the cabinet above, arranged and meticulous. And some hour later, every single corner of his house was shiny, cleaned and almost sterile. He then took a quick shower and called his manager for his schedule.
The next few days had been a routine, the same thing, always. He was working for the band and for himself and for the fans, he had managed to convince himself. His practiced smile that almost but not really reaching his eyes still worked like a charm to consistently screaming fangirls.
He wants to move on, he can’t do anything about it now.
Move forward.
And he thinks he’s doing great.
Having done a month’s work in a week and having his schedule full every single day. And his whole house is a brush away from being a surgeon’s operating table. He doesn’t care.
As long as this keeps up, he’ll be fine, he thinks to himself.
---
Six months later. Jin returns.
With his rockstar hair and aviators and confident swagger, he returns, earning another big ruckus for the presses and fans all over. The great Akanishi Jin returns.
The press conference for him went smoothly, the right things had been said, the right nod and smile directed to the right people, as it’s supposed to be.
At the evening ends, in the rehearsal room, Jin calls out to Kame, dragging with him a blond, slender woman who Kame thinks is far too underdressed at this hour, wearing a quite revealing dress and high stilettos.
“Kame, I want you to meet Cindy, Cindy this is my good friend Kame.” Jin introduced, seemingly unaware or the hint of grimace on Kame’s face.
“Hi, nice to meet you Kame-kun.” Cindy chirps and smiles and hands out her hand for Kame to shake.
He reaches out and smiles back, her voice is soft and affectionate, a big contrast to her outfit. ”The pleasure’s mine.” He says politely, not looking at Jin.
He then lifts his right hand and inspects his wrist then… “I’m sorry. I need to go, someone’s waiting for me. It was nice meeting you though.” He says, flashing her another smile and quickly gathering his things as discreetly as possible and heading for the door, missing the look of surprise in Jin’s face.
---
Hailing a cab, Kame jump in to get out of the cold and settle in the backseat. He sniffs, suddenly feeling teary and covers his face with both palms, mentally shaking himself off. Then grabbing his phone and speed-dialing 2.
“Hello…?” There was a light sizzling sound of a pan of oil and garlic.
“Ryo, are you home already?” He asks fondly. Already thinking of getting to bed early and be woken up with a tender and loving kiss.
He smiles as he hears the answer from the other man.
tbc...?
A/N: haa~ i'm no good at writing fics am i? well, whatever ^^;
thanks to those who read this~♥