Candy Says radio
I had a few weird dreams last night but I don't remember what they were about now. I think one might've involved my mom. She gets out of CCCF on the 1st. I'm happy but at the same time nervous for her.
TV last night- I admit, I watch America's Next Top Model. I predict Nnena for the win. Because damn, it was like she was made to be a model. Every week the judges say something mean-but-in-a-nice-way about Brooke, which is kinda funny-in-a-sad-way. "She's so wrong she's right!" (read: she's uglycute - y'know, like a pug!) I think she's going home next week. And Jade is a bitch but the show would be much less entertaining without her. And she is a good model.
(OMG I was just thinking about Big Star and now pandora.com is playing one of their songs! Spooky!)
So, there's been something I've been avoiding putting down here. mabeval inspired me to be honest.
Mostly because I've been embarrassed and stupidly ashamed.
I'm pretty much done with college right now. I didn't really want to sign up for this semester, but I did and I was denied financial aid. So that kind of cinched it.
Right now I'm sitting on my hands, thinking maybe one of the jobs I keep applying for might contact me. But I don't think it's going to happen, honestly. If by the end of the week, I'm still in this situation I'm going to call another uncle and ask about a job he offered me a while ago. He works in carpentry. If that doesn't turn out, then I guess I'll just have to put a lot more energy in looking.
I've been paying rent here for a few months, and I've used up most of my savings and left over FA.
I feel so stupid and useless and undeservedly privileged. I mean, I had savings and left over FA! I feel like a spoiled brat.
I'm going to see my psychiatrist today, so that's good.
I don't really want to talk about my college bail-out so please don't ask. Not here anyway. Send me an e-mail or something if you want to talk about it.
I read a bunch of Sylvia Plath poems yesterday. I don't read much poetry. Feel free to recommend some poets of poems to me. Or reply with them.
TV last night- I admit, I watch America's Next Top Model. I predict Nnena for the win. Because damn, it was like she was made to be a model. Every week the judges say something mean-but-in-a-nice-way about Brooke, which is kinda funny-in-a-sad-way. "She's so wrong she's right!" (read: she's uglycute - y'know, like a pug!) I think she's going home next week. And Jade is a bitch but the show would be much less entertaining without her. And she is a good model.
(OMG I was just thinking about Big Star and now pandora.com is playing one of their songs! Spooky!)
So, there's been something I've been avoiding putting down here. mabeval inspired me to be honest.
Mostly because I've been embarrassed and stupidly ashamed.
I'm pretty much done with college right now. I didn't really want to sign up for this semester, but I did and I was denied financial aid. So that kind of cinched it.
Right now I'm sitting on my hands, thinking maybe one of the jobs I keep applying for might contact me. But I don't think it's going to happen, honestly. If by the end of the week, I'm still in this situation I'm going to call another uncle and ask about a job he offered me a while ago. He works in carpentry. If that doesn't turn out, then I guess I'll just have to put a lot more energy in looking.
I've been paying rent here for a few months, and I've used up most of my savings and left over FA.
I feel so stupid and useless and undeservedly privileged. I mean, I had savings and left over FA! I feel like a spoiled brat.
I'm going to see my psychiatrist today, so that's good.
I don't really want to talk about my college bail-out so please don't ask. Not here anyway. Send me an e-mail or something if you want to talk about it.
I read a bunch of Sylvia Plath poems yesterday. I don't read much poetry. Feel free to recommend some poets of poems to me. Or reply with them.