(Untitled)

[shreena]

I think the various proposals that seem to be floating around about co-habiting couples are just madness and it really frustrates me that the only people arguing against them are slightly loopy "must protect family life" campaigners.  When quizcustodet and I got married, our legal rights and obligations within that contract were explained to us by the

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[shreena]

I think that it's only superficially feminist to support this kind of legislation because it seems to me that it basically boils down to "women make stupid decisions, let's protect them from the consequences of those decisions." Now, I don't think that women make those stupid decisions in a vacuum, I think they make them in the context of a society that encourages women to go for careers that are fulfilling rather than well paid, that encourages women to stay at home with children rather than men, that encourages women to value "niceness" over standing up for what they want..

But I think what needs to happen is for women to be educated about the consequences of the decisions that they make and for them, if they still make those decisions, to take the consequences. Anything else, it seems to me, is ultimately patronising towards women rather than empowering.

In short: I think we need to look at why women are usually the losers in these breakups rather than accepting that they will always be economically disadvantaged compared to their male partners.

[friend_of_tofu]

I think that it's only superficially feminist to support this kind of legislation because it seems to me that it basically boils down to "women make stupid decisions, let's protect them from the consequences of those decisions."

*nods like a nodding dog!*

I think my concern comes about in terms of timescale. It seems likely that the pay gap is not going to disappear in the next few years, and nor is affordable childcare going to be easily available. So is there a medium-term non-paternalistic solution which could bridge the gap? I'm all in favour of education as the lasting solution, but I worry about the "wait for the revolution" solution (I've spent too much time discussing anarchism ;-p) which doesn't allow for the possibility of doing something for the disadvantaged group right now, before the needed social change has fully occurred.

I ask because I don't have a good solution myself. Although I could see the value of an moderated version of same which would only apply to specific situations (eg cohabiting partners with children would entitle the non-owning partner to have an equitable interest in the home, on the basis that childcare constitutes a contribution to value?), but I, like you, have problems with the assumptions of stupidity and the need for the state to dictate what people do with their own resources.

I've been meaning to post something on this subject for about 2 years, so thank you!