I just dont get it . .
So, as I said in my last post, my Gramma is very sick, like, deathly sick. For the past 3 months she has just been on a downhill spiral to nowhere good. Anyone who has ever met her knows how she was never one to lose her mind, or be a typical old grandmother. She is always dancing around, singing, playing scratch tickets and just enjoying life. Seeing her how she has been for this week specifically, kills me.
She is in the hospital dying right now and I cant get a grip on it. Every day I go through my head thinking a million different thoughts and having all these different feelings. My mom, aunt and uncle have decided to let her go because there is no use in trying to recessitate her once she is gone, she will never be the same. Yesterday we thought it was finally her time to go because she started to call her mom and her brother (both who are dead) names, and was saying "Hurry up, Im sick, get me over!" and was lookin off to the side like she saw them. It was such an emotional yet holy experience I dont even know how to explain it. But she didnt go then.
This afternoon before my 1:30 class my dad called to tell me that the Priest was comin to her room to read her her last Rights, assuming of course, that she would be leaving us. So I was up there and she is just such a tough, and strong and stubborn person. The only thing keeping her alive right now is the fact that her heart is so strong it just wont give up on her. She didnt wake up or talk at all from 5 pm last night and all afternoon and tonight. I just want her to be happy and not sick anymore. I feel like this has been drgged out for so long and she should just go join all my family who have already passed on. Its sad. Its weird when someone is sick like this for such a long time and you get to plan things out and expect the worse, unlike with my Aunt Kathy in April when she died of a sudden heartattack. Every day is another long and strenuous day but filled with prayer and hope and Im just trying to get by.
lataz, reese
She is in the hospital dying right now and I cant get a grip on it. Every day I go through my head thinking a million different thoughts and having all these different feelings. My mom, aunt and uncle have decided to let her go because there is no use in trying to recessitate her once she is gone, she will never be the same. Yesterday we thought it was finally her time to go because she started to call her mom and her brother (both who are dead) names, and was saying "Hurry up, Im sick, get me over!" and was lookin off to the side like she saw them. It was such an emotional yet holy experience I dont even know how to explain it. But she didnt go then.
This afternoon before my 1:30 class my dad called to tell me that the Priest was comin to her room to read her her last Rights, assuming of course, that she would be leaving us. So I was up there and she is just such a tough, and strong and stubborn person. The only thing keeping her alive right now is the fact that her heart is so strong it just wont give up on her. She didnt wake up or talk at all from 5 pm last night and all afternoon and tonight. I just want her to be happy and not sick anymore. I feel like this has been drgged out for so long and she should just go join all my family who have already passed on. Its sad. Its weird when someone is sick like this for such a long time and you get to plan things out and expect the worse, unlike with my Aunt Kathy in April when she died of a sudden heartattack. Every day is another long and strenuous day but filled with prayer and hope and Im just trying to get by.
lataz, reese