evening up the odds

[shreddedrose]

sounds like he gets upset with me when he misses me and calls after a little bit and i havent changed as per his expectations. he expects me to make him feel more like a sexual object than i do. i understand that but ts been four years.

it almost feels masochistic to attempt to correct our relationship flaws. at this point sometimes i dont know whether or not it's worth it to expend the energy. i feel like a fanatic because of the book im reading but i think its brings to light some important ideas and misconceptions about life and love. things that i believe in but never put a name to. its so hard to be in the love minority and try to change other people's perception of it all. people who arent willing to listen and who arent willing to change. i want him to find other ways of satisfying his self worth. i cant possibly provide all of his validation. it feels like an unfinished project that i know i'm fully capable of finishing if not for outside factors.

i dont know how to do this anymore. i dont want to do anything anymore. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market. i'm off the market.