Hatred on Self
It is so funny how bad I am at life... how I dont do things how they should be done... how I say things that should not be said... how I speak what I feel when I really shouldn't be... but eh... life is a learning experience... I just have a feeling I am about to learn a really big lesson... and I am actually look forward to what I feel the out will be... which was always nice... didn't really have to deal with anyone... had my inschool friends... talked to some ppl online but that was about it... maybe that is what will happen... maybe not... who knows... but i am willing to accept that... and feel there is no real BAD outcome to any of this... because no matter what it is... I have felt it before... I thought I was through with all these emotions.. through with all this bs... god I have 3 friends and I can't even keep them happy... would suck to have more then that... I dont know... it is times like these where I know I fucked up... where I know I did some dumb shit... but again... if I am left alone with no one to talk to... it works for me... I lived years of my life that way... and maybe someday I will learn from experience how to express ideas... how to hold back what you have to say... but until then this is me... I am Merlyn Coslett... and if you don't like it by all means you are free to never talk to me again... I shall, as the friend I am continue to try to be friends but after enough time... I know what is enough... and I will just slowly leave you alone, and you shall go on the rest of your life as you want... and not have to think about me or whatever... I dont like change... and I have already changed who I was because of one argument in my life... I dont feel like changing every week... so as I figured, and as it seems now I shall end how I figured it would... with me on the bottom with no no one and everyone else continuing their life... it was fun while it lasted... maybe, just maybe if there is a next time... I will be more prepared...