(no subject)
today was just one of those days.
i woke up like 10 minutes early with this just wonderful feeling, it was sunny coming in on me from my window and i felt good.
but it all went downhill from there.
i found out i coudln't do my reworking of my essays for my final exam, which i should have known and i really did know it inside, but it was still super frustrating. then the morning just wasn't fun. i had my last classes of the quarter. i actually payed attention for maybe 7 minutes in geology today. like, i am SO through with that class.
then i came back, cleaned up a little bit, and met karyn, jeremy, pat, andrea and brian for lunch at thai 65 which was actually really fun. afterwards i showed karyn and jeremy around campus a little bit...i relallly wish karyn would come here next year, it woudl be so cool, but i don't think its gonna happen....
then the most unfunness started.
i tried to start working on my second essay and it is about passover and i just couldn't get my thouhgts out of my head and i was just having some serious issues. so i took a nap. then i got out of bed and tried somemore and sat at my computer pretending to do work but really just screwing around online. then i tried again and got frustrated. so i took another nap. but then i got up and got dressed and went over to my cousins house for shabbas dinner.
it was a good thing for sure. my aunt is raelllly smart jewishly, so she helped me out a lot with my essay and found some books for me to look at, so that was great. then we had a delissssh shabbas dinner, with this shomer shabbas jewish family staying with them. it was a nice, albeit, interesting evening...4 hour dinner, but it was a nice break and a good way for me to get away from my room.
so then i came back and now i have an outline/ 1/2 written paper, which is basically outlined as the paper will look. the really unforunate part is that it is going to be like 1 page when i am through with it. UGH. i freaking hate this assingment so much.
i am losing steam, and i still need to basically finish both short essays by tomorrow afteernoon, and hten start studying for my huge geology final that is monday. so somehow i am going to have to force myself to study tomorrow evening and all day sunday until my study party sunday night for a topic i despise and don't feel like thinking about at all. then i have my final monday at 8:30 aka way too early to be awake and ready for a big test. then i need to spend all day monday working on my long essay (which i also really don't like the topic - feminism. it makes me sound super lame or something, but i think there is a time and a place and some things are just beyond ridiculous) so that i can be somewhat done by tuesday when i go to canada.
and its annoying, casue the truth is, i should just wait to go to canada on wednesday so i can finish everything up, but working my ass off for 1 full week is nto going to happen and there is no way i will still be able to work on tuesday, let alone monday. but i can't share this too much with my parents or they might not let me go at all.
and it is only friday nad i am basically burnt out. and it isn't like before when i was doing social things as a nice break and i could get back to work. now i just feel guilty whenever i am not working and frustrated and so like unaccomplished and like i am wasting time when i just sit and try and do stuff.
AAAAH. hopefully tonight i will jsut sleep really well. i am not getting out of bed til at least 11:00 tomorrow morning i have decided, because i really jsut want to have a good nights sleep. maybe if i am actually well rested i will be able to work tomorrow. who knows. i'm not sure how likely it is.
wow. sorry for the huge rant. i am just bitter and pissed and in a total bitchy mood.
but i was thinking today, and i thought of one thing i got out of my jewish class - i have better insight about myself as a jew, like, more how i define myself and what parts of some movements i don't agree with and what parts i respect and a better understanding of that stuff. yeah.
goodnight.
i woke up like 10 minutes early with this just wonderful feeling, it was sunny coming in on me from my window and i felt good.
but it all went downhill from there.
i found out i coudln't do my reworking of my essays for my final exam, which i should have known and i really did know it inside, but it was still super frustrating. then the morning just wasn't fun. i had my last classes of the quarter. i actually payed attention for maybe 7 minutes in geology today. like, i am SO through with that class.
then i came back, cleaned up a little bit, and met karyn, jeremy, pat, andrea and brian for lunch at thai 65 which was actually really fun. afterwards i showed karyn and jeremy around campus a little bit...i relallly wish karyn would come here next year, it woudl be so cool, but i don't think its gonna happen....
then the most unfunness started.
i tried to start working on my second essay and it is about passover and i just couldn't get my thouhgts out of my head and i was just having some serious issues. so i took a nap. then i got out of bed and tried somemore and sat at my computer pretending to do work but really just screwing around online. then i tried again and got frustrated. so i took another nap. but then i got up and got dressed and went over to my cousins house for shabbas dinner.
it was a good thing for sure. my aunt is raelllly smart jewishly, so she helped me out a lot with my essay and found some books for me to look at, so that was great. then we had a delissssh shabbas dinner, with this shomer shabbas jewish family staying with them. it was a nice, albeit, interesting evening...4 hour dinner, but it was a nice break and a good way for me to get away from my room.
so then i came back and now i have an outline/ 1/2 written paper, which is basically outlined as the paper will look. the really unforunate part is that it is going to be like 1 page when i am through with it. UGH. i freaking hate this assingment so much.
i am losing steam, and i still need to basically finish both short essays by tomorrow afteernoon, and hten start studying for my huge geology final that is monday. so somehow i am going to have to force myself to study tomorrow evening and all day sunday until my study party sunday night for a topic i despise and don't feel like thinking about at all. then i have my final monday at 8:30 aka way too early to be awake and ready for a big test. then i need to spend all day monday working on my long essay (which i also really don't like the topic - feminism. it makes me sound super lame or something, but i think there is a time and a place and some things are just beyond ridiculous) so that i can be somewhat done by tuesday when i go to canada.
and its annoying, casue the truth is, i should just wait to go to canada on wednesday so i can finish everything up, but working my ass off for 1 full week is nto going to happen and there is no way i will still be able to work on tuesday, let alone monday. but i can't share this too much with my parents or they might not let me go at all.
and it is only friday nad i am basically burnt out. and it isn't like before when i was doing social things as a nice break and i could get back to work. now i just feel guilty whenever i am not working and frustrated and so like unaccomplished and like i am wasting time when i just sit and try and do stuff.
AAAAH. hopefully tonight i will jsut sleep really well. i am not getting out of bed til at least 11:00 tomorrow morning i have decided, because i really jsut want to have a good nights sleep. maybe if i am actually well rested i will be able to work tomorrow. who knows. i'm not sure how likely it is.
wow. sorry for the huge rant. i am just bitter and pissed and in a total bitchy mood.
but i was thinking today, and i thought of one thing i got out of my jewish class - i have better insight about myself as a jew, like, more how i define myself and what parts of some movements i don't agree with and what parts i respect and a better understanding of that stuff. yeah.
goodnight.