3 years later

[shpanky]

UPDATE! I totally forgot livejournal even existed. I doubt if anyone actually uses it anymore. So this is the low down. Today is my birthday! Today I am 21. Tomorrow I will be 21 and one day. Tom I am having a birtday party in which i plan to drink until i puke my guts up and then drink the guts and be ok again. I don't know if it will go according to plan. Who knows? So the past 3 years since i updated this last have been ok. I have battled a drug addiction and seem to have won, at least it looks that way. But I do crave them still so it's a daily struggle. I have upgraded to cake decorator at superfresh. It's good. I make big bucks and it's creative, so I feel better about working at a grocery store. I have big plans for my future, this is just a step in the right direction. I have a lot of steps to get across the country though. So i've started walking, and thank god I don't need that cane anymore, although i think cocaine would be a good motivator. More than those percs, they made me lazy. And paranoid! god was I fucking paranoid. About everything. I couldn't stop thinking about death and how weird everything and everybody is. Drugs made me see reality more than living in reality does. It's like your life has stopped and youre just sitting back watching how ridiculous, petty, and stupid people are. How people are so caught up in trivial bullshit, work, friends, things... and I couldn't help but think how none of those things matter at all because we are all going to die. I started hating government, any form of authority, laws, rules. Yes, I know they are necessary, but I couldn't understand how one person could tell another person what to do since we were all born to the same world equally. It's difficult to explain. No I'm not anti any of those things, I just find it all incredibly silly. I still think like that but not constantly like before and I like it because I can actually enjoy things again. I started a wall mural in my bathroom. It looks pretty sweet. My favorite boys the beatles are the inspiration. They have helped me so much through the last two years. And John lennon is my boy. I feel such a connection to him. Thank you. You will soon be permeantly inked onto my arm. I'm getting that saturday if i get enough money together. I can't really think of much more going on currently. It'll come to me and maybe i'll do another update but for right now I need to kick back and watch my beloved conan before the tonight show with conan obrien is no longer. Fuck nbc and thank you conan for giving them a piece of your mind.
So i spilled my guts...
but i'll eat up up again, at least for a year or two.