In The Air Tonight, a Rich/Julian Part 3.
Title: In The Air Tonight
Pairing: Rich Fulcher/Julian Barratt
Fandom: The Mighty Boosh
Setting: Hotel after a tour show.
Rating: NC-17. Porn With Some Plot.
Contains: Consensual, love squeezin's, some angst. Slash. Drama.
Warnings: Real Person Slash
Part 3,
“Alright,” Rich says suddenly. “I’ll tell you, because I want you to know.” Julian raises an eyebrow in anticipation. The way that Ju’s positioned, he could feel Rich’s pulse quicken. “Don’t tell anyone I told you this.”
Mr. I-can’t-control-my-voice has something he wants to tell me? Julian asked himself. He thought he knew Rich so well.
Rich sighs, heart racing. “I... well... Look, I know what you think about me. And it’s probably wrong. But everyone thinks the same thing. Loud and obnoxious Fulcher. Which is true. For the most part. But I have needs, Julian. And I have feelings.” He sighed again. “Julian, I love you. And nothing’s going to stop that. Including your feelings about me. We’ve been so close during this tour that I just.. I want to be with you all the time. Maybe the tour was a bad idea because now I feel lost without you. And I know you have a home life. And I know you have Noel. But... you can have me too. If you want me. And if you don’t, nothing’s going to change. I mean we’re still going to work together, but I want you, Barratt.”
Julian cringed. He didn’t expect this. He didn’t want to say no, but he really couldn’t say yes. He thought for a moment, trying to take in what had just been said.
“Rich, I like you. But I can’t handle you. I always feel like I’m babysitting. I can’t have that constantly. When you’re with Noel, it’s playtime. You can have fun together. But I’m always going to feel like your dad. I’m sorry, Rich. But I don’t want that. I’ll be a dad on my own time. That said, I’ll always be here for you. If you ever need me. I just can’t have you 24/7.”
They stared at each other for what seemed the longest time. Their bodies were close, their eyes even closer. Julian was watching Rich’s facial expression, searching those blue eyes for something, anything. He didn’t want to hurt Rich especially after all this just happened but, he had to say it. He had to remain in control. His life wasn’t going to be messed up if he would let Bobby Blue-Pants run around, hinting at their relations, demanding his every attention, doing...
“You don’t need to be the daddy, Julian.” Rich spoke, swallowing and holding him closer. Ju’s shoulder’s tensed at the contact, getting more intimate.
“I told you before, I’m...I’m a real person you know. I’m in control, I understand and think and walk and talk. You’re the one who’s controlling too much.”
Julian was taken aback. He was expecting Rich to, well, be controlled, complacent and accepting his ground rules. He thought right now like he usually was when he barked orders to frown a little and get serious, to handle himself from being too clowny in public.
It wasn’t public though. Julian was still realizing the Fulcher he knew was very little under the loud, childish exterior. Biting his lip he let his hands caressing his shoulders. His fingers were working at his tensing muscles, kneading down his instinct for worry, dominance and high pride.
“I promise you Ju...” Fulcher licked his drying lips. His eyes plead, begging. “I’m not going to get in the way. I’m not going to say anything. You can pick time and places all or as little as you like. But when you’re around me you can let go, you know. Let loose. I can be the ‘daddy’ just fine.”
He didn’t know what to say for a moment. Julian gulped, flexed back into the pressing ministrations. Fulcher’s thick arms wrapped around him, pulling him even tighter. Body against body, legs draped over another. He felt smothered again, which made him feel weird, which made him feel relaxed, then safe...then secure...
“Come on my little JuJuBear.” Fulcher gave him a sincere look. Adoring as he massaged Julian’s back and muscles so strained from clenching every day. “You can trust me. I love you, and when people love someone they don’t betray them, or hurt them, or anything stupid like that.”
Trust, Julian realized as he melted in, groaning softly. That’s what it is. I want to trust him. I want to LEARN to trust him.
I want to feel safe. So...thought he, nuzzling his head with a long sigh underneath Rich’s chin, ...is this how I can feel safe? By being in his arms, learning about each other through body and sex. He groaned again, shaking a little as he felt tension slip away. We can’t do this all the time, but some of the time we can.
“I want to.”
“Want to what?” Rich whispers, arms enveloped him even more. Julian responds with another sigh as if a great burden was being temporarily lifted from his mind.
“I want to trust you. I want to...to...” ...give you control sometimes... “...well...I need to learn to trust you. By having you ‘visit’ me.”
“Mmm is that so?” Julian’s stomach churned in a pleasant way by Rich’s playful little chuckle in his voice. He found himself blushing, almost admitting the deeper desire from his thoughts just now.
“Yeah. I...still can’t you know, be actively dating you. We’re going to start a little slow, off and on again. That’s what I meant.”
“I’m fine with that.” He feels Rich’s chin nuzzle him. “Quite fine.”
“So you’ll let me choose time and place, yeah?”
“Mm. Whatever you want to do. Whenever.”
“I don’t want to be with you when I’m with Noel.”
“...Okay. But, isn’t that.. all the time?”
Julian laughs a bit. “Well, yes. But there are times when I’m not with him. Little slivers of time that I can squeeze you in.”
“Ooh. I like the sound of that.” Rich beams at his own joke. Julian shakes his head.
“I’m going to have to hide you. Somehow. I don’t really want Noel to know.” Even though he probably wouldn’t mind, he thought. “How am I going to hide you? You’re always everywhere.”
“Hotel rooms. Like this. Bus bunks? Bathrooms?”
“I think hotel rooms are the only way. Maybe bathrooms will be inconspicuous... Rich, I don’t know how this is going to work. I feel like I want to give it a try.. but the logistics of it... People are going to find out. I mean, when I’m with Noel, yeah there are people who think we’re together, but we can hide that and just say that we’re writing together, and that’s it. But I don’t write with you. I can’t use that excuse. What excuse can I use besides ‘I’m Rich’s boyfriend?’ There’s no way we can do this privately. It’s going to come out. It’s going to be public. It just is. I don’t know if I’m ready for that; I really don’t want my family knowing. My family thinks I’m straight, Rich. They don’t think anything but that.” Rich looks forlorn. “Rich, talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling. I know it’s not going to be good but I need to know. I’m not used to you quiet.”
Rich bit his lips, expecting something like this.
“I’ve waited this long to act on my...my desires for you.” He began, his thumb caressing Julian’s cheek. “I don’t think we’re going to be found out.”
“How so? There’s no excuses. Even tonight, you should have been in your room at least half an hour ago. Its already abnormal to come on over, have a nightcap and...”
“Shhh.” Fulcher rested his forehead against him. He calmed momentarily, swayed from the hush and hands around him even more. “We can make it work. You’re a creative man Barratt, and so have I. I could have spat out dozens of times hints and suggestions to you but I didn’t. You could have known what was going on with me. But you didn’t. Because I hid it. And I can hide it again like I always have.”
Julian was feeling confused again. For some moments as they somewhat snuggled he felt...safe. And trusting. But when he would pull away, smell the air instead of that sweaty, and shampoo-y scent of his body he would suddenly feel this was wrong, impossible, unmanageable to have an affair. Impossible to trust him, when the reason he wanted to be with him was to trust. To give in. To succumb.
Perhaps he was over thinking this whole new relationship.
“Relax...”
Julian tried. He shut his eyes, smelling that scent again. Feeling warm.
“We can figure this out.” Rich whispered. “You know we can. They’re not going to find out if we keep our cool and just...relax. Chill out. We’re friends, you know we’re not going to betray each other.” He sighed, nuzzled his own head under Julian’s scraggly chin. “You know that. Don’t you doubt us, Jazz-man.”
Julian couldn’t really say anything for a few minutes. He was feeling content, satisfied here in this other man’s arms. Yes, I suppose it can work he thought as his arms wrapped tighter. But it won’t! We have no excuses! I can’t slip off and just...not without proper...
But he couldn’t really say that now. His thoughts were busy fighting against the exhausting sensation of sleep and warmth. Rich continued to make cooing, shushing sounds, sensed his conflicting and rapid thoughts. Rich was caring for him, wanting to make it work so badly...hoping, that in time and constant affection that Julian would break down.
Julian slowly relaxed, trembling. It was getting to him. This desire for more of what Fulcher was giving him, just by simply holding and breathing on him was swaying his doubts to the other side. At least tonight they were here in bed. Two men breathing, on their sides, in a room smelling of sex and perspiration. To Rich that was in fact a perfect time because it was Julian in his arms. For Julian, the fantasy was quite similar.
“We’ll talk some other time, babe.” Julian heard the whisper in his ear, sighing helplessly from the nuzzling kiss at his ear.
“Please...”
“Please what?” Rich’s heart nearly stopped; What is he going to say? Love me? Kiss me? No...Rich settled down as he reached behind him, shuffling themselves to pull the hotel covers over their fleshy bodies. No, not yet. He needs time. He needs my love squeezin’s...well, Eleanor would say that...
“Hold me tighter, Rich.”
No. He thought, as he pulled his new and first lover into his arms. Nestling him in like a bluebird tucking an egg under it’s wing in the nest. It’s me, Richard, what he needs. Not Bob. Not Eleanor. Not the others.
Nothing else was said by Julian that night. His mind was consumed until that moment when Rich reached to turn off the bedside lamp. The darkness and the moon were all that filled the room, a blue light over the contours of their arms interlocked with their bodies. Their emotions were one and the same; fear, anxiety, happiness, sex and slumber. Julian was mostly scared though. He had encountered feelings of desire for a man he never desired, and the situations arising from them. Including this. It was something the depth of his friendship with Noel didn’t...really achieve, that is in an intimate sense. Not even his girlfriend. It never felt she took charge, or held his head under hers...
Dreams were coming to them. Rich was positively happier than Julian. But anxiety...it was there. Julian was worried. His Julian was frightened of being caught, of the wrongness, of the steps he was taking to enjoy Rich completely. There was trust to be learned still. It was only a step, this night, in that direction. But he loved him, and he knew he must be strong and vigilant, as he always loved Julian enough to be so. He always wanted to be there for him and to let him know that he could. It would take repeats of this night...oh, this glorious night...to convince Julian to loosen up little by little. To relax. To give back. To say ‘I love you’, not just with his little sparkling eyes but with words too.
It wasn’t tonight though. But another night, it might.
He felt Julian hug him tighter. His breath was slower. Sleep was coming to him. Breathing each other’s air. Warm. Tight. Together. Asleep.
Part 4
Pairing: Rich Fulcher/Julian Barratt
Fandom: The Mighty Boosh
Setting: Hotel after a tour show.
Rating: NC-17. Porn With Some Plot.
Contains: Consensual, love squeezin's, some angst. Slash. Drama.
Warnings: Real Person Slash
Part 3,
“Alright,” Rich says suddenly. “I’ll tell you, because I want you to know.” Julian raises an eyebrow in anticipation. The way that Ju’s positioned, he could feel Rich’s pulse quicken. “Don’t tell anyone I told you this.”
Mr. I-can’t-control-my-voice has something he wants to tell me? Julian asked himself. He thought he knew Rich so well.
Rich sighs, heart racing. “I... well... Look, I know what you think about me. And it’s probably wrong. But everyone thinks the same thing. Loud and obnoxious Fulcher. Which is true. For the most part. But I have needs, Julian. And I have feelings.” He sighed again. “Julian, I love you. And nothing’s going to stop that. Including your feelings about me. We’ve been so close during this tour that I just.. I want to be with you all the time. Maybe the tour was a bad idea because now I feel lost without you. And I know you have a home life. And I know you have Noel. But... you can have me too. If you want me. And if you don’t, nothing’s going to change. I mean we’re still going to work together, but I want you, Barratt.”
Julian cringed. He didn’t expect this. He didn’t want to say no, but he really couldn’t say yes. He thought for a moment, trying to take in what had just been said.
“Rich, I like you. But I can’t handle you. I always feel like I’m babysitting. I can’t have that constantly. When you’re with Noel, it’s playtime. You can have fun together. But I’m always going to feel like your dad. I’m sorry, Rich. But I don’t want that. I’ll be a dad on my own time. That said, I’ll always be here for you. If you ever need me. I just can’t have you 24/7.”
They stared at each other for what seemed the longest time. Their bodies were close, their eyes even closer. Julian was watching Rich’s facial expression, searching those blue eyes for something, anything. He didn’t want to hurt Rich especially after all this just happened but, he had to say it. He had to remain in control. His life wasn’t going to be messed up if he would let Bobby Blue-Pants run around, hinting at their relations, demanding his every attention, doing...
“You don’t need to be the daddy, Julian.” Rich spoke, swallowing and holding him closer. Ju’s shoulder’s tensed at the contact, getting more intimate.
“I told you before, I’m...I’m a real person you know. I’m in control, I understand and think and walk and talk. You’re the one who’s controlling too much.”
Julian was taken aback. He was expecting Rich to, well, be controlled, complacent and accepting his ground rules. He thought right now like he usually was when he barked orders to frown a little and get serious, to handle himself from being too clowny in public.
It wasn’t public though. Julian was still realizing the Fulcher he knew was very little under the loud, childish exterior. Biting his lip he let his hands caressing his shoulders. His fingers were working at his tensing muscles, kneading down his instinct for worry, dominance and high pride.
“I promise you Ju...” Fulcher licked his drying lips. His eyes plead, begging. “I’m not going to get in the way. I’m not going to say anything. You can pick time and places all or as little as you like. But when you’re around me you can let go, you know. Let loose. I can be the ‘daddy’ just fine.”
He didn’t know what to say for a moment. Julian gulped, flexed back into the pressing ministrations. Fulcher’s thick arms wrapped around him, pulling him even tighter. Body against body, legs draped over another. He felt smothered again, which made him feel weird, which made him feel relaxed, then safe...then secure...
“Come on my little JuJuBear.” Fulcher gave him a sincere look. Adoring as he massaged Julian’s back and muscles so strained from clenching every day. “You can trust me. I love you, and when people love someone they don’t betray them, or hurt them, or anything stupid like that.”
Trust, Julian realized as he melted in, groaning softly. That’s what it is. I want to trust him. I want to LEARN to trust him.
I want to feel safe. So...thought he, nuzzling his head with a long sigh underneath Rich’s chin, ...is this how I can feel safe? By being in his arms, learning about each other through body and sex. He groaned again, shaking a little as he felt tension slip away. We can’t do this all the time, but some of the time we can.
“I want to.”
“Want to what?” Rich whispers, arms enveloped him even more. Julian responds with another sigh as if a great burden was being temporarily lifted from his mind.
“I want to trust you. I want to...to...” ...give you control sometimes... “...well...I need to learn to trust you. By having you ‘visit’ me.”
“Mmm is that so?” Julian’s stomach churned in a pleasant way by Rich’s playful little chuckle in his voice. He found himself blushing, almost admitting the deeper desire from his thoughts just now.
“Yeah. I...still can’t you know, be actively dating you. We’re going to start a little slow, off and on again. That’s what I meant.”
“I’m fine with that.” He feels Rich’s chin nuzzle him. “Quite fine.”
“So you’ll let me choose time and place, yeah?”
“Mm. Whatever you want to do. Whenever.”
“I don’t want to be with you when I’m with Noel.”
“...Okay. But, isn’t that.. all the time?”
Julian laughs a bit. “Well, yes. But there are times when I’m not with him. Little slivers of time that I can squeeze you in.”
“Ooh. I like the sound of that.” Rich beams at his own joke. Julian shakes his head.
“I’m going to have to hide you. Somehow. I don’t really want Noel to know.” Even though he probably wouldn’t mind, he thought. “How am I going to hide you? You’re always everywhere.”
“Hotel rooms. Like this. Bus bunks? Bathrooms?”
“I think hotel rooms are the only way. Maybe bathrooms will be inconspicuous... Rich, I don’t know how this is going to work. I feel like I want to give it a try.. but the logistics of it... People are going to find out. I mean, when I’m with Noel, yeah there are people who think we’re together, but we can hide that and just say that we’re writing together, and that’s it. But I don’t write with you. I can’t use that excuse. What excuse can I use besides ‘I’m Rich’s boyfriend?’ There’s no way we can do this privately. It’s going to come out. It’s going to be public. It just is. I don’t know if I’m ready for that; I really don’t want my family knowing. My family thinks I’m straight, Rich. They don’t think anything but that.” Rich looks forlorn. “Rich, talk to me. Tell me what you’re feeling. I know it’s not going to be good but I need to know. I’m not used to you quiet.”
Rich bit his lips, expecting something like this.
“I’ve waited this long to act on my...my desires for you.” He began, his thumb caressing Julian’s cheek. “I don’t think we’re going to be found out.”
“How so? There’s no excuses. Even tonight, you should have been in your room at least half an hour ago. Its already abnormal to come on over, have a nightcap and...”
“Shhh.” Fulcher rested his forehead against him. He calmed momentarily, swayed from the hush and hands around him even more. “We can make it work. You’re a creative man Barratt, and so have I. I could have spat out dozens of times hints and suggestions to you but I didn’t. You could have known what was going on with me. But you didn’t. Because I hid it. And I can hide it again like I always have.”
Julian was feeling confused again. For some moments as they somewhat snuggled he felt...safe. And trusting. But when he would pull away, smell the air instead of that sweaty, and shampoo-y scent of his body he would suddenly feel this was wrong, impossible, unmanageable to have an affair. Impossible to trust him, when the reason he wanted to be with him was to trust. To give in. To succumb.
Perhaps he was over thinking this whole new relationship.
“Relax...”
Julian tried. He shut his eyes, smelling that scent again. Feeling warm.
“We can figure this out.” Rich whispered. “You know we can. They’re not going to find out if we keep our cool and just...relax. Chill out. We’re friends, you know we’re not going to betray each other.” He sighed, nuzzled his own head under Julian’s scraggly chin. “You know that. Don’t you doubt us, Jazz-man.”
Julian couldn’t really say anything for a few minutes. He was feeling content, satisfied here in this other man’s arms. Yes, I suppose it can work he thought as his arms wrapped tighter. But it won’t! We have no excuses! I can’t slip off and just...not without proper...
But he couldn’t really say that now. His thoughts were busy fighting against the exhausting sensation of sleep and warmth. Rich continued to make cooing, shushing sounds, sensed his conflicting and rapid thoughts. Rich was caring for him, wanting to make it work so badly...hoping, that in time and constant affection that Julian would break down.
Julian slowly relaxed, trembling. It was getting to him. This desire for more of what Fulcher was giving him, just by simply holding and breathing on him was swaying his doubts to the other side. At least tonight they were here in bed. Two men breathing, on their sides, in a room smelling of sex and perspiration. To Rich that was in fact a perfect time because it was Julian in his arms. For Julian, the fantasy was quite similar.
“We’ll talk some other time, babe.” Julian heard the whisper in his ear, sighing helplessly from the nuzzling kiss at his ear.
“Please...”
“Please what?” Rich’s heart nearly stopped; What is he going to say? Love me? Kiss me? No...Rich settled down as he reached behind him, shuffling themselves to pull the hotel covers over their fleshy bodies. No, not yet. He needs time. He needs my love squeezin’s...well, Eleanor would say that...
“Hold me tighter, Rich.”
No. He thought, as he pulled his new and first lover into his arms. Nestling him in like a bluebird tucking an egg under it’s wing in the nest. It’s me, Richard, what he needs. Not Bob. Not Eleanor. Not the others.
Nothing else was said by Julian that night. His mind was consumed until that moment when Rich reached to turn off the bedside lamp. The darkness and the moon were all that filled the room, a blue light over the contours of their arms interlocked with their bodies. Their emotions were one and the same; fear, anxiety, happiness, sex and slumber. Julian was mostly scared though. He had encountered feelings of desire for a man he never desired, and the situations arising from them. Including this. It was something the depth of his friendship with Noel didn’t...really achieve, that is in an intimate sense. Not even his girlfriend. It never felt she took charge, or held his head under hers...
Dreams were coming to them. Rich was positively happier than Julian. But anxiety...it was there. Julian was worried. His Julian was frightened of being caught, of the wrongness, of the steps he was taking to enjoy Rich completely. There was trust to be learned still. It was only a step, this night, in that direction. But he loved him, and he knew he must be strong and vigilant, as he always loved Julian enough to be so. He always wanted to be there for him and to let him know that he could. It would take repeats of this night...oh, this glorious night...to convince Julian to loosen up little by little. To relax. To give back. To say ‘I love you’, not just with his little sparkling eyes but with words too.
It wasn’t tonight though. But another night, it might.
He felt Julian hug him tighter. His breath was slower. Sleep was coming to him. Breathing each other’s air. Warm. Tight. Together. Asleep.
Part 4