(no subject)
[Susan's Diary]
Pressed into the crease is a half-dry Freesia from a bunch that Terry had purchased from a florist in Berlin.
12 January, 2001
Two weeks ago we were saying goodbye to our little house in Beijing. The bamboo that has engulfed the fence between our yard and Mrs Ying's will have spread much more by the time we get back. If we get Without us there to keep it under control with magic, it will have no barrier to keep it contained. If only we'd known how invasive it was, we would have planted it in a cement barrier instead.
I miss that life already. I think I started to miss it the moment we headed for the train.
We're in Paris until Monday. I always wanted to see Paris. Perhaps for Christmas when the decorations were still up. I'd like to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and see the Louvre, but we only have so much spare money. The rest is set aside to go toward a flat or something while we're in London.
Our train leaves early in the morning.
I had a panic attack this morning in the shower before we left Berlin. It caught me off guard - I haven't had one for years - and I spent ten minutes under the flowing water trying to calm myself down. Terry doesn't know yet, I'll tell him after supper, but I know he'll go silent and I know that he'll be thinking that our decision was the wrong one.
Sometimes I wonder if he's right. He usually is about most things.
It's strange to know how close we are to everyone and how far away we are from that which we've grown attached. And I'm trying to convince myself still that we're doing the right thing. No matter how many times I say it, it still feels forced.
Pressed into the crease is a half-dry Freesia from a bunch that Terry had purchased from a florist in Berlin.
12 January, 2001
Two weeks ago we were saying goodbye to our little house in Beijing. The bamboo that has engulfed the fence between our yard and Mrs Ying's will have spread much more by the time we get back. If we get Without us there to keep it under control with magic, it will have no barrier to keep it contained. If only we'd known how invasive it was, we would have planted it in a cement barrier instead.
I miss that life already. I think I started to miss it the moment we headed for the train.
We're in Paris until Monday. I always wanted to see Paris. Perhaps for Christmas when the decorations were still up. I'd like to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower and see the Louvre, but we only have so much spare money. The rest is set aside to go toward a flat or something while we're in London.
Our train leaves early in the morning.
I had a panic attack this morning in the shower before we left Berlin. It caught me off guard - I haven't had one for years - and I spent ten minutes under the flowing water trying to calm myself down. Terry doesn't know yet, I'll tell him after supper, but I know he'll go silent and I know that he'll be thinking that our decision was the wrong one.
Sometimes I wonder if he's right. He usually is about most things.
It's strange to know how close we are to everyone and how far away we are from that which we've grown attached. And I'm trying to convince myself still that we're doing the right thing. No matter how many times I say it, it still feels forced.