(no subject)
I haven't been on here in... centuries.
Buuuuuut
I always just write on here when I'm lonely.
&I'm never alone, because I have Thomas.
But lately, I feel like I don't HAVE anyone.
I miss having a best friend.
I know i have so many close friends, but it's so not the same.
I miss having ONE person that people associate me with.
I miss being someone's hip bone.
I miss knowing when I'm clawing at my steering wheel driving aimlessly, I can call them, and not talk, just cry.
I continually think I can just keep Thomas as my best friend,
but I feel like when there's times i need him most, he's the reason I need someone.
And I feel like he isn't the half of me that is freespirited and needs to just drive&sing&dance&laugh.
I love my roommates.
But there's so much drama in my room all of a sudden.
&it was my close friend who is acting ridiculous.
School is hard.
MY grades HAVE to be good to get my scholarship
& when my friend comes over to study, we're so alike we can't study.
We just talk.
Which is good....
peeeerrrrrrrrro
even when I'm like,
"I sure wish I could just call someone to talk"
Thomas either doesn't respond or feels it's repetitive.
Which it probably is,
but if listening to me is what i truly NEED,
shouldn't he be okay with doing something for me?
Maybe once?
I sure miss my mom.
I sure miss Timmy
&rollerblading
&having dinner on the table
&knowing I could not study and get away with it
&my old room
&my brother
&Cortez (i know...)
&the senior class
&Mr. White.
I miss not HAVING to work.
I miss knowing I could see Thomas after every class.
I miss Thomas.. and I see him all the time...
I miss volleyball SOOO MUCH.
And why do I have hives?
And why does Summer always come to mind when I start missing anything?
And why do I have to grow up?
Today the fire alarm went off
lol everyone was running out of the dorm rooms
I turned around and grabber my ipod, phone, and camera.
No, i didn't even have any shoes on!
Cortez volleyball looked lame, Im' not going to lie.
& the floats looked ULTRA bad.
& I saw people only a year older than me get married and I couldn't believe how much I was thinking about how I would marry Thomas instantly.
today Erica made my day.
&TB and I had a good talk.
&I don't think i'll be able to go to Disneyland cuz Thomas doesn't have $$$$$....
story of our lives...................
ps. I'm poor.....................
pss.I love Muriel.
*End of random thoughts*
Buuuuuut
I always just write on here when I'm lonely.
&I'm never alone, because I have Thomas.
But lately, I feel like I don't HAVE anyone.
I miss having a best friend.
I know i have so many close friends, but it's so not the same.
I miss having ONE person that people associate me with.
I miss being someone's hip bone.
I miss knowing when I'm clawing at my steering wheel driving aimlessly, I can call them, and not talk, just cry.
I continually think I can just keep Thomas as my best friend,
but I feel like when there's times i need him most, he's the reason I need someone.
And I feel like he isn't the half of me that is freespirited and needs to just drive&sing&dance&laugh.
I love my roommates.
But there's so much drama in my room all of a sudden.
&it was my close friend who is acting ridiculous.
School is hard.
MY grades HAVE to be good to get my scholarship
& when my friend comes over to study, we're so alike we can't study.
We just talk.
Which is good....
peeeerrrrrrrrro
even when I'm like,
"I sure wish I could just call someone to talk"
Thomas either doesn't respond or feels it's repetitive.
Which it probably is,
but if listening to me is what i truly NEED,
shouldn't he be okay with doing something for me?
Maybe once?
I sure miss my mom.
I sure miss Timmy
&rollerblading
&having dinner on the table
&knowing I could not study and get away with it
&my old room
&my brother
&Cortez (i know...)
&the senior class
&Mr. White.
I miss not HAVING to work.
I miss knowing I could see Thomas after every class.
I miss Thomas.. and I see him all the time...
I miss volleyball SOOO MUCH.
And why do I have hives?
And why does Summer always come to mind when I start missing anything?
And why do I have to grow up?
Today the fire alarm went off
lol everyone was running out of the dorm rooms
I turned around and grabber my ipod, phone, and camera.
No, i didn't even have any shoes on!
Cortez volleyball looked lame, Im' not going to lie.
& the floats looked ULTRA bad.
& I saw people only a year older than me get married and I couldn't believe how much I was thinking about how I would marry Thomas instantly.
today Erica made my day.
&TB and I had a good talk.
&I don't think i'll be able to go to Disneyland cuz Thomas doesn't have $$$$$....
story of our lives...................
ps. I'm poor.....................
pss.I love Muriel.
*End of random thoughts*