i would rather be dead......
well yah today started out really good. we played a show at marks' house i think that is his name. well the crowd was horrible. I think that i could of gotten a better crowd for my first gig with tsc. but whatever. um yah we went to some guys recording studio that lived liek next door to mark. it was really nice, to expensive though. well yah i made my appererance at the hot to troskys show. I love sam. But i know im just a worthless freshmen so yah.
well other then hanging out with my band mates seeing people i like seeing and the good stuff. I am going through quite a hard time. things im tired of
-pointing out that im younger then all my friends.
-not being able to drive with my band mates.
-rumors
-not having real friends
-people faking it
-being ditched for boys/chics
-sucking at keyboard
I knwo that i am the youngest out of liek everyone i hang out with. The tiny one, the little baby. but i gues si am tired of being compared to them in that sence. I mean no one really knows me, or what ive been through, so how come just becasue i'm younger i can't have been through rough relationships, or other ordeals. I guess i just hate my age, and i can never be accepted to anyone other then the small unexpierenced lunchbox. Don't take me wrong. im not mad at anyone. just young. and useless. i guess.
My parents are great. I love them to death, thats no lie. I can talk to my mom about a lot of things, and i joke around with my dad a lot. and i like it. But i really do with they would let me grow up. they still treat me like im 12. this comes in with the last issue i discussed. i am treated younger then i accully am. I am 15. Young yes indeed, but one year away from having my OWN licsence, a year away from driving on my own, a year from being a "reckless teen driver". I want them to loosen up. They are really good with letting me do thing i agree, and i am thankful. But that is one thing that i think that is really stupid to be so strict about. Yes i know people die because of car accidents. But most of them happen when people are under the influence, and i woulden't make that choice. yes i understand, some other teen drunk driving could hit us, but then again they could hit any other car, any other driver, any other age. I just cringe when they say i can't i don't know it is just a huge conflict i think.
I am not in love with blair. I never got any of Bailey's texts. I don't even know this chick, so she sends me random websitess telling me that my haircut makes her eyes bleed, and makes her puke. I can't help it that im ugly i know i am, happy? I am tired of people. I am not goign to tell anyone anything anymore, they just get into bigger rumors, where it ends up being something totally differnt from what i told people before. I swear i cant sit and talk to my "best friends" without next week someone knowing my deepest darkest secrets. but i guess thats the problem with people these days.
Compared to The Shoreline Cinema, i suck oh so totally. I don't deserve to be in such an amazing band. I don't deserve a lot of things, but defeintly not this. I am so thankful i am. But i know i don't fit in. I know that im nothing of the sort of what they want. I don't know i just wish i was good at something. i suck at life
oh yess for all you annoymous commentors. Yes this was all for sympathy, and it was all lies. Becasue that is just wat i am, i huge sympathy looking liar. eff you.
im tired of people.
*EDIT*
I talked to kyle. I miss my best friend. it made me happy to talk to a long lost friend.
*EDIT*
well other then hanging out with my band mates seeing people i like seeing and the good stuff. I am going through quite a hard time. things im tired of
-pointing out that im younger then all my friends.
-not being able to drive with my band mates.
-rumors
-not having real friends
-people faking it
-being ditched for boys/chics
-sucking at keyboard
I knwo that i am the youngest out of liek everyone i hang out with. The tiny one, the little baby. but i gues si am tired of being compared to them in that sence. I mean no one really knows me, or what ive been through, so how come just becasue i'm younger i can't have been through rough relationships, or other ordeals. I guess i just hate my age, and i can never be accepted to anyone other then the small unexpierenced lunchbox. Don't take me wrong. im not mad at anyone. just young. and useless. i guess.
My parents are great. I love them to death, thats no lie. I can talk to my mom about a lot of things, and i joke around with my dad a lot. and i like it. But i really do with they would let me grow up. they still treat me like im 12. this comes in with the last issue i discussed. i am treated younger then i accully am. I am 15. Young yes indeed, but one year away from having my OWN licsence, a year away from driving on my own, a year from being a "reckless teen driver". I want them to loosen up. They are really good with letting me do thing i agree, and i am thankful. But that is one thing that i think that is really stupid to be so strict about. Yes i know people die because of car accidents. But most of them happen when people are under the influence, and i woulden't make that choice. yes i understand, some other teen drunk driving could hit us, but then again they could hit any other car, any other driver, any other age. I just cringe when they say i can't i don't know it is just a huge conflict i think.
I am not in love with blair. I never got any of Bailey's texts. I don't even know this chick, so she sends me random websitess telling me that my haircut makes her eyes bleed, and makes her puke. I can't help it that im ugly i know i am, happy? I am tired of people. I am not goign to tell anyone anything anymore, they just get into bigger rumors, where it ends up being something totally differnt from what i told people before. I swear i cant sit and talk to my "best friends" without next week someone knowing my deepest darkest secrets. but i guess thats the problem with people these days.
Compared to The Shoreline Cinema, i suck oh so totally. I don't deserve to be in such an amazing band. I don't deserve a lot of things, but defeintly not this. I am so thankful i am. But i know i don't fit in. I know that im nothing of the sort of what they want. I don't know i just wish i was good at something. i suck at life
oh yess for all you annoymous commentors. Yes this was all for sympathy, and it was all lies. Becasue that is just wat i am, i huge sympathy looking liar. eff you.
im tired of people.
*EDIT*
I talked to kyle. I miss my best friend. it made me happy to talk to a long lost friend.
*EDIT*