３６：Countdown to Start, a JE ｘ Sun Music Fanfiction
A Brief Background: Written for the Johnnys Entertainment White Day Fic Exchange 2013, over here at je_whiteday. Chocolate fic for yumenosete, who is all sorts of love and fluff for saying that she liked what I've written for her despite my self-depreciating comments lol.
Originally posted here. I am pretty sure I could've done better if I had actually taken time to sit down and research, but all I can come up with given RL responsibilities, crimes accidents, workload and study load, is something this flimsy lol. I guess I had been aiming too high when it was pretty obvious I couldn't. /wry smile Pretty much most of my knowledge outside of Becky, Arashi, Maki and Satomi in this fic couldn't have known if not for dalampasigan, who also speed-beta'ed this one (and lightning fast, too, even when she was busy embracing the loveliness of the beach during that time). XD
Title: Countdown to Start
Pairing: Yokoyama Yu x (Vaughan) Becky
Rating: PG-13 to R
Word Count: 3,448 words
Summary: Not all love stories make sense. In fact, all love stories don't make that much sense. {AU}
A/N: Any and all mistakes are solely of my own negligence and lack of time to re-process this fic before submitting; liberties were taken as small bits of canon were tweaked to fit into the AU storyline.
--------
six summers.
He's in love with her, and she's in love with someone else.
More specifically -- he's in love with her, and she has been in love with his best friend(s) since time immemorial.
And yet he's standing here, holding her hand in his, under the shade of an old maple tree, waiting for the rain to stop.
Even better still, she doesn't pull away.
one step.
He is in love with her, and she's been in love with Shingo since forever. (Though that may be his extremely exaggerated and pessimistic self talking. But yes, it feels as if it's been that way ever since he's known her.)
He was in his first year in university when his room mate brings her to their dorm room.
She's all soft laces and flowing skirts and her cheeks are apple dotted and her eyes, her eyes, he notes -- they're the loveliest he's seen in his entire life (which doesn't amount to much, really); the loveliest pair of abyss that he can drown into.
"Hello," she intones in a small (cute) voice, "nice to meet you. Shingo-kun talks about you a lot," and Yu thinks she's slightly abashed for being in the dorm room of two decidedly male (when not questioned) schoolmates, and actually thinks she's brave enough to be here. The room across theirs was occupied by a certain short-tempered, enka-loving senior student who detests noisy people when he, in fact, is noisier than Yu and Shingo combined. Next door were Takizawa and Imai, who were certainly good-looking but had been breaking girls' hearts with their inability to part from each other's company, and not to mention Nishicreeper three doors down, who turns the female population off with his disturbingly big smile. Or Nishicreeper's roommate, Maruyama, and his lame puns with his hand.
(He refuses to acknowledge that he, too, was at the same level of ineptitude as that of Takizawa, Imai, Nishikido and Maruyama when dealing with pretty girls like her.)
His throat goes dry and he's not entirely sure why, and he only manages a smile that looks constipated and perhaps a tad bit condescending because she immediately ducks and takes a half-step back, then proceeds to look to the door.
And just when he feels like he's been a major blockhead and a downright asshole to her -- she's already thinking of leaving, what kind of a room mate is he, scaring people off -- there's a knock to the door, and Shingo excuses himself from them to open the door.
Those few seconds felt like they lasted hours with her trying to look anywhere but him while he tried not to stare at her and yet he did and he's trying, really trying to be a nice person, but thankfully his room mate goes back in, two other girls and Nishicreeper from three doors down in tow.
"Hey Kimi, we're going to do our project here today," Shingo's voice takes him out of his stupor, and he immediately detects the hidden message. They'll need the space to move around, and would most likely be making a lot of noise that he'd be unable to accomplish studying.
"Sure, I need to go make sure Aibacchi's limbs are still in tact anyway," he responds, inclining his head a bit at his friend, and then he excuses himself from the group and heads out of the room.
The flecks that danced in her eyes are the last Yu gets a glimpse of as he closes the door, and it is burned in his mind for the rest of the week.
three's a crowd.
It's all Nishicreeper's -- Yu is back to calling him that, that idiot -- fault.
The young woman seated opposite him looks awfully embarrassed, the way her brows knit and her pouty lips quiver once in a while as the silences stretches between them while he tries to get in touch with Ryo, with Hina, with anybody they both know despite there being only a few of them, and all of the only few of them are miraculously unavailable at this moment.
He knows it is futile, refuses to acknowledge the futility, seriously why are they so hell-bent on--
"Uhm--"
"Er--"
They both look up, and Yu realizes just how cute she looks when embarrassed, cheeks suffused and lips slightly pursed in a cat-like curve. Without the sunflowers in her eyes, a voice in his head goes off, but still cute nonetheless.
He opens his mouth to speak, but she beats him to it.
"We--We should probably just proceed as planned, right... Yokoyama-san?"
Yu dislikes how he's tongue-tied, yet again in the midst of a pretty girl, and it takes a few seconds before he responds.
"Might as well, Ishihara-san."
----------------
Yu discovers that she's just as painfully shy as he is when it comes to meeting new people, and while it does make him feel a bit more at ease around her, he's still on tenterhooks for most of the time. Nervous around her, because she makes something in him jump each time she smiles--even when her smiles are not directed at him.
One lunch mishap with Ishihara-san--Satomi-chan turns to two, and becomes dinner and coffee and movies and whole day outings and Yu finds himself gaining more confidence, more footing with regards to his jumpy reactions when she makes those little gestures and one day he finally takes action to stop Satomi-chan from the future possibility of giving him a series of heart attacks for being so smiley--
He holds her hand.
Satomi freezes, looks up at him from beside him and Yu thinks he's done for, for being so forward and for being unable to look at her while he's done so (but it's way past the third date! That usually counts as something), because he's felt this way about someone Not Satomi before and he's afraid that when he does look at her and sees her as Satomi and not someone else, he'd be terribly disappointed and--
She laces their fingers together, and Yu finally finds it in himself to look down at her tiny form beside him.
Her face is beaming, radiant, even without the sunflowers in her eyes, and he thinks the sunflowers aren't really that important to him anymore, not when there's this girl that reminds him of his beautiful hometown* where he first felt the stirrings of admiration for beauty; a person who acknowledges that whatever it is they have between them is something that she, too, feels and accepts wholehartedly.
It is enough to make Yu feel like Son Goku on Kinto-un.
seven cycles.
He drinks, blames himself for not noticing, blames himself for being a wayward son, for being a bad first-born.
It took his mother's death for him to even think of coming home; so consumed was he with life and work in Tokyo that he thought the nightly messages to his mom and his brothers were enough to let them know that he was there, that he would never forget, and that he will always be taking care of their family in his father's stead.
And he drinks to forget the pain, to dull the voices out. He still has the handkerchief from his younger days, a handkerchief that his mother knitted his name on. He was ten and he was embarrassed, a bit of a rebel that disliked being coddled and receiving intimacy from his mother in public.
He downs a glass of whatever it is that he's been served in one go, and motions for the bartender to refill his glass.
"You're already drunk, sir."
"Of course not," he retorts almost immediately, eyes narrowing at the bartender.
A female bartender, whose gaze was just as sharp as what he's thrown, and whose blood red lips are pursed into a thin, disappointed line.
"We serve drinks but we don't want our customers piss-drunk." And she places a glass of cold water in front of him instead. "Clear your head and then go home."
He sits up straight, a vein on his temple ticking at the patronizing tone that the female bartender has taken to, and just when he's about to retort, Yu feels a prickle that sends him blinking and furrowing his brows. "Tsk," he reaches up to press on his temples, willing away the shitty sensation that is blossoming from his head from drinking more than he can handle, but is surprised to feel soft pads of fingers pressing gently on one of his temples.
When the throbbing disappears he opens his eyes, lips quivering as he smiles at the bartender--her name tag reads Mirei--
--and promptly conks out on the table.
two and a half.
It's torturous, he knows, but it's not like he'd want to stop them. For one, his roommate would only find out that he's not asleep (who would be when they're so noisy in the middle of the night and with just a horribly thin gypsum wall between them?), not when he had been so intent on pretending he was sleeping by loudly faux-snoring since he was too tired to get up and open the door.
He hears, listens from his bed, just a few feet away from them. Her hushing him, her soft giggles, her breathy sighs mingled with barely-toned down grunts and pants from him, the mattress squeaking and the slight shaking, and his traitorous body comes to life while his mind conjures an image of her, hair around her face as she looks down on him, eyes bright and very much alive in the middle of the night as she smiles and closes the gap between them.
He forgets the noises he hears and drowns in his own imagery.
Yu finds that he can't look at neither Hina nor Becky the next morning, and feels so dirty, so appalled at himself and his lack of self-control.
four corners.
She is beautiful, even in tears.
And Yu is not exactly sure why he is the first to realise this. Or if he was the first.
Him and Aiba are no good when it comes to women, what more with women who are crying, so he wonders why, of all her connections, of all her actually female friends, they're the ones with her during this time.
(Granted she lived at the next door apartment complex from the flat he and Aiba shared in Tokyo, still.)
She's even prettier when she laughs through her tears at Aiba's failed attempt to console her.
"I am sorry for traumatizing you guys, even as you're friends with Shin-kun," she says through hiccups as she downs a glass of water, "and you guys are male, to boot."
Aiba is quick to negate, verbally. "It's okay, Becky-chan. We might be Hina's friends first, but you're our friend, too."
Yu nods to reaffirm Aiba's statement, but awkwardly and inadvertently stills midway when her eyes meet his.
"Shin-kun and I are okay though. We talked about it and agreed to end it since we didn't see each other in the same light as before anymore."
He tries not to think too much about it, tries not to read too much into her actions or words, or why it feels like she's staring and seeing right through him; suddenly he feels so exposed and vulnerable for no apparent reason.
A week later he finds himself in the midst of another beautiful woman, still so beautiful even while crying, and Yu feels like a downright douchebag for breaking her heart.
Maybe we should stop seeing each other.
eight-fold path.
He's still on the king-sized bed, staring at his reflection on the mirror ceiling, still unable to catch his breath. And she's already halfway dressed.
"Go back to Tokyo."
Yu feels tiny at her words, so small even as his limbs are long and sprawled under the sheets. He only manages to blink up at his mirror image in response. He's only known her for a couple of weeks and already it feels like they've known each other since young-- their life stories, their woes, their worries and problems, their littlest quirks, their tragic, non-existent loves.
"Stop running away from them. They care for you. She cares for you."
"I don't know what you're talking about." It tumbled out of his mouth instantly.
Mirei chucks a pillow from the nearby love seat at him. "Idiot. At least get the name of your partner right when you're having mind-blowing sex."
Even smaller still.
"I'm leaving. Don't even think of coming back to the bar or else I'll have your existence eradicated. Besides, my boyfriend in Tokyo will have your head if he finds out."
Yu shudders in ill-concealed mirth. Mirei chucks another throw his way.
"What's so funny?" He finally manages to sit up; he finds Mirei towering over him from the foot of the bed with an angry expression on her already made-up face.
He shakes his head in response before getting off the bed (he completely misses the small smile that grows on her face as she sees him move from his supine position) and reaches over to look at his phone:
Twelve missed calls, Fifteen e-mails. One reads:
Aiba-kun and I--we never worked out, but we became the best of friends.
Yu doesn't notice her leave the room; Mirei didn't really wait for him to get dressed and see her off.
Neither did Yu actually notice the shaky breath she took, the forlorn expression on her face, nor the brightness in her eyes as she tried to keep the tears at bay.
Be happy.
five times infinity.
Maki was, and has always been, one of his crushes. An unrequited one since childhood. But who wouldn't like her, really, he says to himself, when she's some sort of proof of the right mix of sugar and spice and everything nice. She did, after all, liked playing Dragonball with the rest of the boys and didn't act like a sissy when she gets tagged or "dies" in battle like Chiaotzu* did and always brought along seven rice balls that she's helped her mom make (they're the precious Dragon balls, after all). And her hair smelled very nice even after they've played in the sun all day.
And she grew up pretty, even prettier than ever, and he likes to think that she hasn't changed, even as her family moved to Kiyose when she was 9, and they've mostly lost touch during their growing up years.
But Yu is happy to see her with one of his close colleagues, and perhaps a tad bit proud that he had been the instigator, the reason that she is now one half of the happy couple garbed in white with their hands joined as they cut through the massive, mostly Styrofoam, macaron wedding cake.
Sometimes he imagines himself as Maki's groom, but less than ten seconds into his fantasy he internally guffaws, because really, he knows Maki can do so much bette--
"Hey."
"Hey."
The chair beside him moves and she takes a seat, and the clanking of wine glasses and the hoots and catcalls as the newlyweds share a kiss to heed the congregation's request dissipate into silence; all he can hear is the mad thumping of his heart at the nearness of her.
"In a wedding again, huh. This has been happening quite often, don't you think?"
Indeed it has, we meet in a wedding again, don't you think this is a sign? but he only nods, and smiles that crooked, socially inept smile of his that he knows now she understands. "Yeah."
He wonders if he should tell her just how many weddings they've attended together, separately -- he's always gone solo and she's always with--
"Aiba-kun tells me that Maki-chan is a childhood friend of yours."
"Yes," he croaks even after sipping from his water goblet, "and Sho works as an Assistant Manager in our company. Apparently they've been eyeing each other way before I've introduced them since our companies were in the same office building."
She leans closer to him -- Yu tries not to suffer from a coronary on the spot -- and her eyes twinkle as the chandelier lights hit those orbs. "And Aiba-kun says he's been Sho's partner for a time before he switched over to your company. Such a small world, don't you think?"
Yes it is. It's even smaller because you know, Aiba-chan also just happens to be one of my closest friends from Baseball club during high school, like how Hina was my closest buddy during university, and you're his girlfriend right now, too, but Yu only manages to nod, foregoing whatever's going on in his head.
He wonders, belatedly, if, had he actually made a move on Becky when she and Hina had amicably gone their separate ways when they were juniors during university, things would have been different -- maybe he wouldn't be friends with Hina now. Maybe Sho and Maki wouldn't end up together. Maybe Ryo had remained Nishicreeper from three doors down and had not become just Dokkun to him. Maybe Erika and Hina would have never had kids or wouldn't have known each other at all. Maybe Satomi-chan may not have gone to Rio de Janeiro with her boss because he'd never had broken her heart.
"You know," her voice cuts through his reverie, and he straightens up in his chair a bit, "I actually liked you first back then--not Hina."
He thinks he's misheard, but when he moves his head to look at her, the redness on her cheeks were undeniable.
nine lives.
He doesn't hesitate -- not even as his brothers, Tsutomu and Mitsuru, watch as he flings all his belongings hurriedly inside his bag, as if they'd all fit into the duffel bag he's received from being part of the high school varsity baseball team. He knows they understand, assumes they understand, because they've both been such considerate children, always taking care of their mother while he was slaving away in Tokyo to make sure there was food on their table and a roof over their heads back here in Osaka.
"Take care of yourselves," he tells them later, when they've driven him to the bus station, "you know I'm only a phone call away, right?"
Mitsuru--the younger one--nods immediately, and Yu wants to smack his youngest brother for the tears he's been keeping at bay. "When will you be back, Kimi-nii?"
He only pats his head twice, and then proceeds to ruffle his head -- just like how he used to do when he was but a little kid. The younger Yokoyama dislikes it, but bears with the nostalgic gesture, for old times' sake.
"Wait two more years--I'll become a doctor, aniki," Tsutomu declares. He has always been the more serious out of them three. "And when I earn enough money, you can come home to Osaka."
Yu laughs boisterously at his brothers, eyes crinkling as he tries to clear his bleary vision without wiping at his eyes. "Do what you want to do, Tsutomu. You can become a musician, a garbage collector or a real estate agent for all I care -- I just need you both to take care of yourselves, and that's all that matters."
----------------
He arrives in Tokyo close to midnight.
He knocks at the door and rings the bell incessantly. There has to be someone home.
A female voice, and then--the door opens.
"I'm back," Yu greets, grinning.
"Welcome home," she responds cheekily, brimming with joy and excitement and what Yu wants to imagine as--
"--or you'll catch a cold, idiot."
She grabs at his wrist and pulls him in, letting him into her apartment and into her life.
ten to one.
She is light and frail and all swaddled pink towel, cheeks red like apples freshly-picked from the farms of Aomori. Her fingers, so tiny against his big ones, melding perfectly in his hand. So perfect in fact that it scares him if he lets go and she flies away, far away from him again, what with the hand's lightness and gentleness that of a feather.
And her eyes -- her eyes, Yu notes -- one of the loveliest pair of swirling abyss of grey specks and something peeking from under those long, naturally-curled lashes, like sunflowers on a cloudy day.
Just like her mother's.
Yu thinks he's fallen deeply in love, the second time around.
end.
Notes:
*beautiful hometown, which is probably what Satomi's name would look like if written in kanji (里美), since her real name is 石黒国子, child of the country.
*Kinto-un, Son Goku's cloud vehicle in Dragon Ball.
*Chiaotzu, a character in Dragon Ball Z who resembles a small kid with rosy cheeks and has a pale (if not white) complexion.
*Kimi; Kimi-nii, short for Kimitaka -- Yoko's real name.
*Tsutomu and Mitsuru, real names of Yoko's younger brothers.
*aniki, a more informal, masculine form of onii-san, meaning older brother.
Written and finished 16 March 2013.
Originally posted here. I am pretty sure I could've done better if I had actually taken time to sit down and research, but all I can come up with given RL responsibilities, crimes accidents, workload and study load, is something this flimsy lol. I guess I had been aiming too high when it was pretty obvious I couldn't. /wry smile Pretty much most of my knowledge outside of Becky, Arashi, Maki and Satomi in this fic couldn't have known if not for dalampasigan, who also speed-beta'ed this one (and lightning fast, too, even when she was busy embracing the loveliness of the beach during that time). XD
Title: Countdown to Start
Pairing: Yokoyama Yu x (Vaughan) Becky
Rating: PG-13 to R
Word Count: 3,448 words
Summary: Not all love stories make sense. In fact, all love stories don't make that much sense. {AU}
A/N: Any and all mistakes are solely of my own negligence and lack of time to re-process this fic before submitting; liberties were taken as small bits of canon were tweaked to fit into the AU storyline.
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six summers.
He's in love with her, and she's in love with someone else.
More specifically -- he's in love with her, and she has been in love with his best friend(s) since time immemorial.
And yet he's standing here, holding her hand in his, under the shade of an old maple tree, waiting for the rain to stop.
Even better still, she doesn't pull away.
one step.
He is in love with her, and she's been in love with Shingo since forever. (Though that may be his extremely exaggerated and pessimistic self talking. But yes, it feels as if it's been that way ever since he's known her.)
He was in his first year in university when his room mate brings her to their dorm room.
She's all soft laces and flowing skirts and her cheeks are apple dotted and her eyes, her eyes, he notes -- they're the loveliest he's seen in his entire life (which doesn't amount to much, really); the loveliest pair of abyss that he can drown into.
"Hello," she intones in a small (cute) voice, "nice to meet you. Shingo-kun talks about you a lot," and Yu thinks she's slightly abashed for being in the dorm room of two decidedly male (when not questioned) schoolmates, and actually thinks she's brave enough to be here. The room across theirs was occupied by a certain short-tempered, enka-loving senior student who detests noisy people when he, in fact, is noisier than Yu and Shingo combined. Next door were Takizawa and Imai, who were certainly good-looking but had been breaking girls' hearts with their inability to part from each other's company, and not to mention Nishicreeper three doors down, who turns the female population off with his disturbingly big smile. Or Nishicreeper's roommate, Maruyama, and his lame puns with his hand.
(He refuses to acknowledge that he, too, was at the same level of ineptitude as that of Takizawa, Imai, Nishikido and Maruyama when dealing with pretty girls like her.)
His throat goes dry and he's not entirely sure why, and he only manages a smile that looks constipated and perhaps a tad bit condescending because she immediately ducks and takes a half-step back, then proceeds to look to the door.
And just when he feels like he's been a major blockhead and a downright asshole to her -- she's already thinking of leaving, what kind of a room mate is he, scaring people off -- there's a knock to the door, and Shingo excuses himself from them to open the door.
Those few seconds felt like they lasted hours with her trying to look anywhere but him while he tried not to stare at her and yet he did and he's trying, really trying to be a nice person, but thankfully his room mate goes back in, two other girls and Nishicreeper from three doors down in tow.
"Hey Kimi, we're going to do our project here today," Shingo's voice takes him out of his stupor, and he immediately detects the hidden message. They'll need the space to move around, and would most likely be making a lot of noise that he'd be unable to accomplish studying.
"Sure, I need to go make sure Aibacchi's limbs are still in tact anyway," he responds, inclining his head a bit at his friend, and then he excuses himself from the group and heads out of the room.
The flecks that danced in her eyes are the last Yu gets a glimpse of as he closes the door, and it is burned in his mind for the rest of the week.
three's a crowd.
It's all Nishicreeper's -- Yu is back to calling him that, that idiot -- fault.
The young woman seated opposite him looks awfully embarrassed, the way her brows knit and her pouty lips quiver once in a while as the silences stretches between them while he tries to get in touch with Ryo, with Hina, with anybody they both know despite there being only a few of them, and all of the only few of them are miraculously unavailable at this moment.
He knows it is futile, refuses to acknowledge the futility, seriously why are they so hell-bent on--
"Uhm--"
"Er--"
They both look up, and Yu realizes just how cute she looks when embarrassed, cheeks suffused and lips slightly pursed in a cat-like curve. Without the sunflowers in her eyes, a voice in his head goes off, but still cute nonetheless.
He opens his mouth to speak, but she beats him to it.
"We--We should probably just proceed as planned, right... Yokoyama-san?"
Yu dislikes how he's tongue-tied, yet again in the midst of a pretty girl, and it takes a few seconds before he responds.
"Might as well, Ishihara-san."
----------------
Yu discovers that she's just as painfully shy as he is when it comes to meeting new people, and while it does make him feel a bit more at ease around her, he's still on tenterhooks for most of the time. Nervous around her, because she makes something in him jump each time she smiles--even when her smiles are not directed at him.
One lunch mishap with Ishihara-san--Satomi-chan turns to two, and becomes dinner and coffee and movies and whole day outings and Yu finds himself gaining more confidence, more footing with regards to his jumpy reactions when she makes those little gestures and one day he finally takes action to stop Satomi-chan from the future possibility of giving him a series of heart attacks for being so smiley--
He holds her hand.
Satomi freezes, looks up at him from beside him and Yu thinks he's done for, for being so forward and for being unable to look at her while he's done so (but it's way past the third date! That usually counts as something), because he's felt this way about someone Not Satomi before and he's afraid that when he does look at her and sees her as Satomi and not someone else, he'd be terribly disappointed and--
She laces their fingers together, and Yu finally finds it in himself to look down at her tiny form beside him.
Her face is beaming, radiant, even without the sunflowers in her eyes, and he thinks the sunflowers aren't really that important to him anymore, not when there's this girl that reminds him of his beautiful hometown* where he first felt the stirrings of admiration for beauty; a person who acknowledges that whatever it is they have between them is something that she, too, feels and accepts wholehartedly.
It is enough to make Yu feel like Son Goku on Kinto-un.
seven cycles.
He drinks, blames himself for not noticing, blames himself for being a wayward son, for being a bad first-born.
It took his mother's death for him to even think of coming home; so consumed was he with life and work in Tokyo that he thought the nightly messages to his mom and his brothers were enough to let them know that he was there, that he would never forget, and that he will always be taking care of their family in his father's stead.
And he drinks to forget the pain, to dull the voices out. He still has the handkerchief from his younger days, a handkerchief that his mother knitted his name on. He was ten and he was embarrassed, a bit of a rebel that disliked being coddled and receiving intimacy from his mother in public.
He downs a glass of whatever it is that he's been served in one go, and motions for the bartender to refill his glass.
"You're already drunk, sir."
"Of course not," he retorts almost immediately, eyes narrowing at the bartender.
A female bartender, whose gaze was just as sharp as what he's thrown, and whose blood red lips are pursed into a thin, disappointed line.
"We serve drinks but we don't want our customers piss-drunk." And she places a glass of cold water in front of him instead. "Clear your head and then go home."
He sits up straight, a vein on his temple ticking at the patronizing tone that the female bartender has taken to, and just when he's about to retort, Yu feels a prickle that sends him blinking and furrowing his brows. "Tsk," he reaches up to press on his temples, willing away the shitty sensation that is blossoming from his head from drinking more than he can handle, but is surprised to feel soft pads of fingers pressing gently on one of his temples.
When the throbbing disappears he opens his eyes, lips quivering as he smiles at the bartender--her name tag reads Mirei--
--and promptly conks out on the table.
two and a half.
It's torturous, he knows, but it's not like he'd want to stop them. For one, his roommate would only find out that he's not asleep (who would be when they're so noisy in the middle of the night and with just a horribly thin gypsum wall between them?), not when he had been so intent on pretending he was sleeping by loudly faux-snoring since he was too tired to get up and open the door.
He hears, listens from his bed, just a few feet away from them. Her hushing him, her soft giggles, her breathy sighs mingled with barely-toned down grunts and pants from him, the mattress squeaking and the slight shaking, and his traitorous body comes to life while his mind conjures an image of her, hair around her face as she looks down on him, eyes bright and very much alive in the middle of the night as she smiles and closes the gap between them.
He forgets the noises he hears and drowns in his own imagery.
Yu finds that he can't look at neither Hina nor Becky the next morning, and feels so dirty, so appalled at himself and his lack of self-control.
four corners.
She is beautiful, even in tears.
And Yu is not exactly sure why he is the first to realise this. Or if he was the first.
Him and Aiba are no good when it comes to women, what more with women who are crying, so he wonders why, of all her connections, of all her actually female friends, they're the ones with her during this time.
(Granted she lived at the next door apartment complex from the flat he and Aiba shared in Tokyo, still.)
She's even prettier when she laughs through her tears at Aiba's failed attempt to console her.
"I am sorry for traumatizing you guys, even as you're friends with Shin-kun," she says through hiccups as she downs a glass of water, "and you guys are male, to boot."
Aiba is quick to negate, verbally. "It's okay, Becky-chan. We might be Hina's friends first, but you're our friend, too."
Yu nods to reaffirm Aiba's statement, but awkwardly and inadvertently stills midway when her eyes meet his.
"Shin-kun and I are okay though. We talked about it and agreed to end it since we didn't see each other in the same light as before anymore."
He tries not to think too much about it, tries not to read too much into her actions or words, or why it feels like she's staring and seeing right through him; suddenly he feels so exposed and vulnerable for no apparent reason.
A week later he finds himself in the midst of another beautiful woman, still so beautiful even while crying, and Yu feels like a downright douchebag for breaking her heart.
Maybe we should stop seeing each other.
eight-fold path.
He's still on the king-sized bed, staring at his reflection on the mirror ceiling, still unable to catch his breath. And she's already halfway dressed.
"Go back to Tokyo."
Yu feels tiny at her words, so small even as his limbs are long and sprawled under the sheets. He only manages to blink up at his mirror image in response. He's only known her for a couple of weeks and already it feels like they've known each other since young-- their life stories, their woes, their worries and problems, their littlest quirks, their tragic, non-existent loves.
"Stop running away from them. They care for you. She cares for you."
"I don't know what you're talking about." It tumbled out of his mouth instantly.
Mirei chucks a pillow from the nearby love seat at him. "Idiot. At least get the name of your partner right when you're having mind-blowing sex."
Even smaller still.
"I'm leaving. Don't even think of coming back to the bar or else I'll have your existence eradicated. Besides, my boyfriend in Tokyo will have your head if he finds out."
Yu shudders in ill-concealed mirth. Mirei chucks another throw his way.
"What's so funny?" He finally manages to sit up; he finds Mirei towering over him from the foot of the bed with an angry expression on her already made-up face.
He shakes his head in response before getting off the bed (he completely misses the small smile that grows on her face as she sees him move from his supine position) and reaches over to look at his phone:
Twelve missed calls, Fifteen e-mails. One reads:
Aiba-kun and I--we never worked out, but we became the best of friends.
Yu doesn't notice her leave the room; Mirei didn't really wait for him to get dressed and see her off.
Neither did Yu actually notice the shaky breath she took, the forlorn expression on her face, nor the brightness in her eyes as she tried to keep the tears at bay.
Be happy.
five times infinity.
Maki was, and has always been, one of his crushes. An unrequited one since childhood. But who wouldn't like her, really, he says to himself, when she's some sort of proof of the right mix of sugar and spice and everything nice. She did, after all, liked playing Dragonball with the rest of the boys and didn't act like a sissy when she gets tagged or "dies" in battle like Chiaotzu* did and always brought along seven rice balls that she's helped her mom make (they're the precious Dragon balls, after all). And her hair smelled very nice even after they've played in the sun all day.
And she grew up pretty, even prettier than ever, and he likes to think that she hasn't changed, even as her family moved to Kiyose when she was 9, and they've mostly lost touch during their growing up years.
But Yu is happy to see her with one of his close colleagues, and perhaps a tad bit proud that he had been the instigator, the reason that she is now one half of the happy couple garbed in white with their hands joined as they cut through the massive, mostly Styrofoam, macaron wedding cake.
Sometimes he imagines himself as Maki's groom, but less than ten seconds into his fantasy he internally guffaws, because really, he knows Maki can do so much bette--
"Hey."
"Hey."
The chair beside him moves and she takes a seat, and the clanking of wine glasses and the hoots and catcalls as the newlyweds share a kiss to heed the congregation's request dissipate into silence; all he can hear is the mad thumping of his heart at the nearness of her.
"In a wedding again, huh. This has been happening quite often, don't you think?"
Indeed it has, we meet in a wedding again, don't you think this is a sign? but he only nods, and smiles that crooked, socially inept smile of his that he knows now she understands. "Yeah."
He wonders if he should tell her just how many weddings they've attended together, separately -- he's always gone solo and she's always with--
"Aiba-kun tells me that Maki-chan is a childhood friend of yours."
"Yes," he croaks even after sipping from his water goblet, "and Sho works as an Assistant Manager in our company. Apparently they've been eyeing each other way before I've introduced them since our companies were in the same office building."
She leans closer to him -- Yu tries not to suffer from a coronary on the spot -- and her eyes twinkle as the chandelier lights hit those orbs. "And Aiba-kun says he's been Sho's partner for a time before he switched over to your company. Such a small world, don't you think?"
Yes it is. It's even smaller because you know, Aiba-chan also just happens to be one of my closest friends from Baseball club during high school, like how Hina was my closest buddy during university, and you're his girlfriend right now, too, but Yu only manages to nod, foregoing whatever's going on in his head.
He wonders, belatedly, if, had he actually made a move on Becky when she and Hina had amicably gone their separate ways when they were juniors during university, things would have been different -- maybe he wouldn't be friends with Hina now. Maybe Sho and Maki wouldn't end up together. Maybe Ryo had remained Nishicreeper from three doors down and had not become just Dokkun to him. Maybe Erika and Hina would have never had kids or wouldn't have known each other at all. Maybe Satomi-chan may not have gone to Rio de Janeiro with her boss because he'd never had broken her heart.
"You know," her voice cuts through his reverie, and he straightens up in his chair a bit, "I actually liked you first back then--not Hina."
He thinks he's misheard, but when he moves his head to look at her, the redness on her cheeks were undeniable.
nine lives.
He doesn't hesitate -- not even as his brothers, Tsutomu and Mitsuru, watch as he flings all his belongings hurriedly inside his bag, as if they'd all fit into the duffel bag he's received from being part of the high school varsity baseball team. He knows they understand, assumes they understand, because they've both been such considerate children, always taking care of their mother while he was slaving away in Tokyo to make sure there was food on their table and a roof over their heads back here in Osaka.
"Take care of yourselves," he tells them later, when they've driven him to the bus station, "you know I'm only a phone call away, right?"
Mitsuru--the younger one--nods immediately, and Yu wants to smack his youngest brother for the tears he's been keeping at bay. "When will you be back, Kimi-nii?"
He only pats his head twice, and then proceeds to ruffle his head -- just like how he used to do when he was but a little kid. The younger Yokoyama dislikes it, but bears with the nostalgic gesture, for old times' sake.
"Wait two more years--I'll become a doctor, aniki," Tsutomu declares. He has always been the more serious out of them three. "And when I earn enough money, you can come home to Osaka."
Yu laughs boisterously at his brothers, eyes crinkling as he tries to clear his bleary vision without wiping at his eyes. "Do what you want to do, Tsutomu. You can become a musician, a garbage collector or a real estate agent for all I care -- I just need you both to take care of yourselves, and that's all that matters."
----------------
He arrives in Tokyo close to midnight.
He knocks at the door and rings the bell incessantly. There has to be someone home.
A female voice, and then--the door opens.
"I'm back," Yu greets, grinning.
"Welcome home," she responds cheekily, brimming with joy and excitement and what Yu wants to imagine as--
"--or you'll catch a cold, idiot."
She grabs at his wrist and pulls him in, letting him into her apartment and into her life.
ten to one.
She is light and frail and all swaddled pink towel, cheeks red like apples freshly-picked from the farms of Aomori. Her fingers, so tiny against his big ones, melding perfectly in his hand. So perfect in fact that it scares him if he lets go and she flies away, far away from him again, what with the hand's lightness and gentleness that of a feather.
And her eyes -- her eyes, Yu notes -- one of the loveliest pair of swirling abyss of grey specks and something peeking from under those long, naturally-curled lashes, like sunflowers on a cloudy day.
Just like her mother's.
Yu thinks he's fallen deeply in love, the second time around.
end.
Notes:
*beautiful hometown, which is probably what Satomi's name would look like if written in kanji (里美), since her real name is 石黒国子, child of the country.
*Kinto-un, Son Goku's cloud vehicle in Dragon Ball.
*Chiaotzu, a character in Dragon Ball Z who resembles a small kid with rosy cheeks and has a pale (if not white) complexion.
*Kimi; Kimi-nii, short for Kimitaka -- Yoko's real name.
*Tsutomu and Mitsuru, real names of Yoko's younger brothers.
*aniki, a more informal, masculine form of onii-san, meaning older brother.
Written and finished 16 March 2013.