(no subject)
I feel like a utter mess and I can't believe what I have gotten myself into. Last night I spent over an hour getting yelled at by my parents. My dad has never been so angry and hurt by me and for that I just would rather not exist. Not overly dramatic, honest. I need to be good for myself but I don't even know what that looks like because apparently I haven't ever my in my entire life. I layed out today and tried to get tan but it's already too late, whatever. I fall asleep so early and get like 40 plus missed calls and realize that I'm missing out on life with sleeping but I need my rest too, right? I want to have things more put together but I'm the only person that can change that. I'm going on this wilderness leadership trip in Canada for july, I think. I'm so confused. I'll write more in a little bit, okay? Love you.