lets go, dont wait.. i may never be back to normal
picky,picky. no lies. no tears and we'll be okay.
I've been thinking a lot lately. Just how some people act when they are around certain people, then fake, then real(maybe) and then fake. I dont know, just a train of thought.
i seem to always be out to impress someone who isnt their. I dont know why i think that i have to impress people to get their approval of me. it seems like i have to act a certain way, or be nice, or mean, kind, or gentle, and i dont like knowing that becauseof the way i am, one default will result in people not liking me. maybe, i am the only one who thinks that, maybe i am just in over my head with everyone, maybe i need ot keep to myself more, but then, i feel depresed, and lonely, and i feel that i have no one their for me, and no one cares. i know josh will always be their to care and comfort me and save me when i need to be saved, and thats all i need, but then i feel like i have to prove to him that i am okay without having to be saved. saved from what? I guess that i depend way to much on what people think of me. i depend on my ersonality to much, the one that i dont have, and i want to, but i can't have my own, i need everyones, then i wont be able to impress people. why do i have ot impress anyone who isnt their?
caught off guard all worked up, rise as dark and cold as night, let me go, im not one, i swear i'll just take opne life time. i wont lie i wont sin, maybe i dont wanna go, can't you wait, maybe i dont wanna go, i should have asked, i could have helped, atleast a fucking thousand times before, will this offer get me in, or does this prove that they gave more, and i, i wont lie, and i wont sin, maybve i dont wana go, cant you wait, maybe i dont wanna go.
i never thought i'd die alone. i laughted the loudest hoot alone...im too depresedto go on, you'll be sorry when im gone.