LaFayette, I have returned.
By chance and the fees of thousands of dollars the wind has blown some of the grains, so very slowly, back to the spots where they used to rest en masse. I know this because it's obvious, because my face is a little less murderous and my reflexes a little more quick; my eyes are capable, now, of seeing connections rather than spotlighted shapes.
Sometime during the fragmentation I either forgot reckless amounts or learned to lose the past that had prior to been tailing me with an oddly fierce motivation. I don't know how it happened, but it did. And I'm grateful for that. I am capable, now, of viewing memories fondly (or indifferently, or comically) rather than dropping to my knees in their uninvited presence. Thus it looks to be the latter.
I still know, however, that there are things about myself that I cannot change, no matter how much effort I exert, and there are still grains that will disperse into the environment, only to stick to the careless feet of couples on vacation, and then be swept away in a flow of water and taken into the pipes under a hotel. It is not something that is limited to defining me, no no. I've made amends.
Sometime during the fragmentation I either forgot reckless amounts or learned to lose the past that had prior to been tailing me with an oddly fierce motivation. I don't know how it happened, but it did. And I'm grateful for that. I am capable, now, of viewing memories fondly (or indifferently, or comically) rather than dropping to my knees in their uninvited presence. Thus it looks to be the latter.
I still know, however, that there are things about myself that I cannot change, no matter how much effort I exert, and there are still grains that will disperse into the environment, only to stick to the careless feet of couples on vacation, and then be swept away in a flow of water and taken into the pipes under a hotel. It is not something that is limited to defining me, no no. I've made amends.