(no subject)
ok so Im sorry for not commenting at all, I havent checked my flist once in months, but I really need to vent and dont want random people to see it.
I just had a small talk with mom (cus we never have big talks) and she said she wants me to go to the school counslor or some children psychologist so I can tell them things that I dont vent to other people irl. guess what? I hate that idea. I'm not gonna talk to somebody I dont know, really. especially if they somehow relates to my mom. things I really need to vent I tell my online friends and that's it.
I guess it may seem like Im mad about my mom or something and.. yeah I kinda am. she said this really offenimg thing to me the other day, she erased all my future dreams in one sentence (without letting me talk) and thought I was some hooker that plays with guys. WTH MOM I DONT FUCKING LEAVE THE HOUSE, HOW THE FUCK?!
tho the first part bothered me the most. the convo went something like this:
mom: so have you thought about your future yet?
me: ..... I was thinking of---
mom: art doesnt have any money in it... thought about you becoming a singer? .... neh it won't work. singing and drawing are just for hobby, right?
me: ...no... I want to study art...
mom: but you already do (in school)
me: ..........yeah.......
it was hard enough to talk about my future with mym mom, but having her reject that is really painful.
Im so happy she's not sleeping at home today because I started craying when I recalled it, Im so touchy~
this part I told to a friend and I DID feel better after that, but that small talk mentioned earlier was my main trigger.
so I told my mom I was CGing things FOR the con and hoped she'd leave me alone for being on the pc all day. I was so proud of being part of the con's decoration committee cus I've wished for that for two years, ever since I started attending cons. (short-ranged dream, yes) my dad was happy to hear that but mom wasnt too impressed, she just asked what I get from it.
I get nothing and I dont care.
well, I do get in for free. OH! now she suddenly asks if I can get her in for free, too. no mom, I dont want you to come.
so yeah, I dont hang out with my irl friends. that's bacause I.. can't really trust them. I love spending recess time with them, but if we really look at it, aside from that I do really have things to do with them. and they have friends much closer than me, they hang out with them.
I think I'll be a NEET when I grow up OTL
I just had a small talk with mom (cus we never have big talks) and she said she wants me to go to the school counslor or some children psychologist so I can tell them things that I dont vent to other people irl. guess what? I hate that idea. I'm not gonna talk to somebody I dont know, really. especially if they somehow relates to my mom. things I really need to vent I tell my online friends and that's it.
I guess it may seem like Im mad about my mom or something and.. yeah I kinda am. she said this really offenimg thing to me the other day, she erased all my future dreams in one sentence (without letting me talk) and thought I was some hooker that plays with guys. WTH MOM I DONT FUCKING LEAVE THE HOUSE, HOW THE FUCK?!
tho the first part bothered me the most. the convo went something like this:
mom: so have you thought about your future yet?
me: ..... I was thinking of---
mom: art doesnt have any money in it... thought about you becoming a singer? .... neh it won't work. singing and drawing are just for hobby, right?
me: ...no... I want to study art...
mom: but you already do (in school)
me: ..........yeah.......
it was hard enough to talk about my future with mym mom, but having her reject that is really painful.
Im so happy she's not sleeping at home today because I started craying when I recalled it, Im so touchy~
this part I told to a friend and I DID feel better after that, but that small talk mentioned earlier was my main trigger.
so I told my mom I was CGing things FOR the con and hoped she'd leave me alone for being on the pc all day. I was so proud of being part of the con's decoration committee cus I've wished for that for two years, ever since I started attending cons. (short-ranged dream, yes) my dad was happy to hear that but mom wasnt too impressed, she just asked what I get from it.
I get nothing and I dont care.
well, I do get in for free. OH! now she suddenly asks if I can get her in for free, too. no mom, I dont want you to come.
so yeah, I dont hang out with my irl friends. that's bacause I.. can't really trust them. I love spending recess time with them, but if we really look at it, aside from that I do really have things to do with them. and they have friends much closer than me, they hang out with them.
I think I'll be a NEET when I grow up OTL