The Ascent [Chapter 1]
Title: The Ascent Chapter 1
Pairing: HanHae [Han Geng x Donghae], mentioned EunHae, HaeJia friendship.
Rating: R Overall. PG-13 this chapter, for themes.
Summary: Donghae just got out of a dead relationship, leaving him with nothing but depression he tries to escape from. Will leaving Korea help him?
A/N: I can't stop writing this. It just keeps flowing.
I was miserable, in that state of constant depression that nothing could shake. I felt as if my relationship were falling to pieces and yet I didn’t care. Things with Hyukjae had gone stale ages ago. He took everything so seriously. At least, he took everything I didn’t want him to take seriously, seriously. Sex didn’t even interest us, at least, it didn’t interest him. Not like it once did. I suppose he got bored of me all around. It was becoming too much. And when he left one day, I wasn’t surprised.
I wasn’t surprised when he came to get his things. I wasn’t surprised when he tried to pin the blame on me. Sure I had my faults. I contributed to our downfall just as much as he did. But I knew in the end he would push it all on me, like I had been the one to break his heart. He was the one that left me.
I moved away. I didn’t want to stay there in that apartment with all those mixed emotions, memories that clung to the dull gray walls. I didn’t want to even stay in the same city. I got away as fast as I could, hoping for a fresh start, a new me to emerge from these inner ashes like some mythical phoenix at sunrise.
It took me a year to finally settle down again, relying on my photography to feed me at the end of the day. I chose Beijing. That seemed to be far enough away for me, yet still close enough to home if I wanted to make a quick return. I was twenty one, not even fluent in Mandarin but I supposed that would come easily once I submersed myself in the language. I was truly starting from the bottom, recreating myself.
I got a tiny apartment with the money I had saved from odd photography jobs. Work here came a lot easier as the city was fairly large. Pretty soon I was not only making a name for myself, but was making friends as well. I became particularly close to Meng Jia, a brilliant, gorgeous artist with long orange hair that seemed to draw all eyes to her when she walked into a room.
We became roommates and that seemed to suit us just fine. She convinced me to dye my hair orange, stating that it was a reflection of my inner fire and passion. Apparently that was the same reason she had dyed her own hair orange.
"We’re soulmates, it’s only fitting," she had said. Turns out orange suited me a lot better than I had expected and it was true-- we were so alike, we were soulmates. I was just more socially awkward, which she also felt a need to help me with. Clubbing became our thing and if I hadn’t been so stubborn then, I would have seen that I was using it as an escape. My feelings hadn’t been so easily left behind in Korea. I didn’t want to move on, but I needed to. I needed someone, someone to at least pretend with.
I stared into the glass on the bar in front of me, lost in thought when I felt a light touch on my shoulder. I looked up and paused, feeling something click inside me as I met eyes with the stranger who was smiling at me softly. That was the first time I saw him, the moment that my life changed radically.
I remembered to blink, eliciting a soft laugh that seemed to reverberate inside my head despite the house music that was surrounding us, charging the air with energy to keep the bodies on the dance floor moving and grinding to the beat.
“Are you alone?” His voice was softer than I expected, but loud enough to slice through the music where I could understand him. I looked to my side, noticing that Jia had disappeared, no doubt with the guy she had been attached to since we had first arrived. I turned my eyes back to the stranger and shrugged.
“I guess so,” I nodded. He smiled, letting his gaze linger a moment before he threw a signal to the bartender, who obviously knew what two fingers raised meant. There was awkwardness, probably on my part, until he leaned over a little so he wouldn’t have to yell as much.
“You look foreign. Where are you from?”
I smiled a little and nodded again. “Korea.” The man seemed a little shocked but grinned.
“I love Korea! My korean sucks though. What brings you here?”
“Starting over.”
He tilted his head curiously and I couldn’t help feeling like I’d seen him somewhere before. He repeated my response as a question and I snapped out of my mental identification methods with a nod.
“It’s a long, pitiful story I don’t feel like burdening a stranger with.”
“Ahhh,” he nodded and laughed again-I liked that laugh. “One of those things. Are you staying around here?”
“Yeah. I’ve been here for about four months now. Does summer ever end?” He found my question hilarious apparently and took a drink from the bottle the bartender put in front of him.
“It does, but then you start asking if winter ever ends.” He turned around in his seat and watched the crowd, looking at me after a few minutes to catch me staring. “It’s really hard for me to believe you’re here alone.”
I smiled and shook my head. “I’m here with a friend but she disappeared.”
“A friend?”
A nod. “Just a friend.”
He leaned over then, closer than before, his breath on my ear as he talked in a low timbre, sending a shiver down my spine. “You should disappear with me.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes.
“Why should I?” I protested. “I don’t even know you.”
“That’s why you should disappear with me, so you can get to know me.”
I disappeared with him, sending a text to Jia before I hopped off the bar stool. I never did this. I never left with someone I had just met, but something in those eyes caused an equally unknown something to stir inside me; I felt like I needed to follow him. Like if I didn’t, I would miss something big. When he had me pinned down to a bed in the closest hotel, going straight for an erogenous zone Hyukjae hadn’t discovered in three years of our shitty relationship, I knew I’d made the right choice.
It was hot and he was so good and it felt good to just get laid. But more than that it felt different. It was as if he were avidly trying to please me, make me moan, make me feel good. I had never experienced anything like it.
Perhaps the alcohol clouded my judgement a bit, perhaps it was sudden, perhaps it was just because he'd fucked me so well, but when he collapsed next to me, sweaty and breathing hard, I knew I wanted him. I wanted this stranger I didn't even have a name for.
I knew how one night stands went. Wasn't this supposed to be one? Why wasn't he leaving? I fell asleep staring at him, wondering what made him linger, what made him put his arm around my waist and caress the small of my back. I knew he'd be gone in the morning regardless, so I didn't worry too much.
I was right. He was long gone when I woke up, and that made me a little upset. I didn't even get his name, but I was certain I'd never forget his face. As I passed by countless people on the street back to the apartment, I looked at each person, foolishly hoping to see him again. I climbed the stairs to my shared apartment with Jia, a frown on my face as I unlocked the door.
Jia looked up from a canvas she was stretching and looked me over.
"Well?"
I sighed, not knowing where to start and from the smirk on her face I could tell I didn't have to explain anything. She could read me like a book anyway. I chuckled and shook my head.
"I'm going to shower."
She accepted that, letting me leave without any protest. I leaned against the shower wall and as the water pelted against me, I felt depressed all over again. I wouldn't see him again, there's no way I'd see him again. I'd never shake this feeling that haunted me.
~
.
Pairing: HanHae [Han Geng x Donghae], mentioned EunHae, HaeJia friendship.
Rating: R Overall. PG-13 this chapter, for themes.
Summary: Donghae just got out of a dead relationship, leaving him with nothing but depression he tries to escape from. Will leaving Korea help him?
A/N: I can't stop writing this. It just keeps flowing.
I was miserable, in that state of constant depression that nothing could shake. I felt as if my relationship were falling to pieces and yet I didn’t care. Things with Hyukjae had gone stale ages ago. He took everything so seriously. At least, he took everything I didn’t want him to take seriously, seriously. Sex didn’t even interest us, at least, it didn’t interest him. Not like it once did. I suppose he got bored of me all around. It was becoming too much. And when he left one day, I wasn’t surprised.
I wasn’t surprised when he came to get his things. I wasn’t surprised when he tried to pin the blame on me. Sure I had my faults. I contributed to our downfall just as much as he did. But I knew in the end he would push it all on me, like I had been the one to break his heart. He was the one that left me.
I moved away. I didn’t want to stay there in that apartment with all those mixed emotions, memories that clung to the dull gray walls. I didn’t want to even stay in the same city. I got away as fast as I could, hoping for a fresh start, a new me to emerge from these inner ashes like some mythical phoenix at sunrise.
It took me a year to finally settle down again, relying on my photography to feed me at the end of the day. I chose Beijing. That seemed to be far enough away for me, yet still close enough to home if I wanted to make a quick return. I was twenty one, not even fluent in Mandarin but I supposed that would come easily once I submersed myself in the language. I was truly starting from the bottom, recreating myself.
I got a tiny apartment with the money I had saved from odd photography jobs. Work here came a lot easier as the city was fairly large. Pretty soon I was not only making a name for myself, but was making friends as well. I became particularly close to Meng Jia, a brilliant, gorgeous artist with long orange hair that seemed to draw all eyes to her when she walked into a room.
We became roommates and that seemed to suit us just fine. She convinced me to dye my hair orange, stating that it was a reflection of my inner fire and passion. Apparently that was the same reason she had dyed her own hair orange.
"We’re soulmates, it’s only fitting," she had said. Turns out orange suited me a lot better than I had expected and it was true-- we were so alike, we were soulmates. I was just more socially awkward, which she also felt a need to help me with. Clubbing became our thing and if I hadn’t been so stubborn then, I would have seen that I was using it as an escape. My feelings hadn’t been so easily left behind in Korea. I didn’t want to move on, but I needed to. I needed someone, someone to at least pretend with.
I stared into the glass on the bar in front of me, lost in thought when I felt a light touch on my shoulder. I looked up and paused, feeling something click inside me as I met eyes with the stranger who was smiling at me softly. That was the first time I saw him, the moment that my life changed radically.
I remembered to blink, eliciting a soft laugh that seemed to reverberate inside my head despite the house music that was surrounding us, charging the air with energy to keep the bodies on the dance floor moving and grinding to the beat.
“Are you alone?” His voice was softer than I expected, but loud enough to slice through the music where I could understand him. I looked to my side, noticing that Jia had disappeared, no doubt with the guy she had been attached to since we had first arrived. I turned my eyes back to the stranger and shrugged.
“I guess so,” I nodded. He smiled, letting his gaze linger a moment before he threw a signal to the bartender, who obviously knew what two fingers raised meant. There was awkwardness, probably on my part, until he leaned over a little so he wouldn’t have to yell as much.
“You look foreign. Where are you from?”
I smiled a little and nodded again. “Korea.” The man seemed a little shocked but grinned.
“I love Korea! My korean sucks though. What brings you here?”
“Starting over.”
He tilted his head curiously and I couldn’t help feeling like I’d seen him somewhere before. He repeated my response as a question and I snapped out of my mental identification methods with a nod.
“It’s a long, pitiful story I don’t feel like burdening a stranger with.”
“Ahhh,” he nodded and laughed again-I liked that laugh. “One of those things. Are you staying around here?”
“Yeah. I’ve been here for about four months now. Does summer ever end?” He found my question hilarious apparently and took a drink from the bottle the bartender put in front of him.
“It does, but then you start asking if winter ever ends.” He turned around in his seat and watched the crowd, looking at me after a few minutes to catch me staring. “It’s really hard for me to believe you’re here alone.”
I smiled and shook my head. “I’m here with a friend but she disappeared.”
“A friend?”
A nod. “Just a friend.”
He leaned over then, closer than before, his breath on my ear as he talked in a low timbre, sending a shiver down my spine. “You should disappear with me.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes.
“Why should I?” I protested. “I don’t even know you.”
“That’s why you should disappear with me, so you can get to know me.”
I disappeared with him, sending a text to Jia before I hopped off the bar stool. I never did this. I never left with someone I had just met, but something in those eyes caused an equally unknown something to stir inside me; I felt like I needed to follow him. Like if I didn’t, I would miss something big. When he had me pinned down to a bed in the closest hotel, going straight for an erogenous zone Hyukjae hadn’t discovered in three years of our shitty relationship, I knew I’d made the right choice.
It was hot and he was so good and it felt good to just get laid. But more than that it felt different. It was as if he were avidly trying to please me, make me moan, make me feel good. I had never experienced anything like it.
Perhaps the alcohol clouded my judgement a bit, perhaps it was sudden, perhaps it was just because he'd fucked me so well, but when he collapsed next to me, sweaty and breathing hard, I knew I wanted him. I wanted this stranger I didn't even have a name for.
I knew how one night stands went. Wasn't this supposed to be one? Why wasn't he leaving? I fell asleep staring at him, wondering what made him linger, what made him put his arm around my waist and caress the small of my back. I knew he'd be gone in the morning regardless, so I didn't worry too much.
I was right. He was long gone when I woke up, and that made me a little upset. I didn't even get his name, but I was certain I'd never forget his face. As I passed by countless people on the street back to the apartment, I looked at each person, foolishly hoping to see him again. I climbed the stairs to my shared apartment with Jia, a frown on my face as I unlocked the door.
Jia looked up from a canvas she was stretching and looked me over.
"Well?"
I sighed, not knowing where to start and from the smirk on her face I could tell I didn't have to explain anything. She could read me like a book anyway. I chuckled and shook my head.
"I'm going to shower."
She accepted that, letting me leave without any protest. I leaned against the shower wall and as the water pelted against me, I felt depressed all over again. I wouldn't see him again, there's no way I'd see him again. I'd never shake this feeling that haunted me.
~
.