Things are wierd

[shouldabeenyou]

I feel really wierd right now. I have no idea what the deal is and I'm in the right state of mind. I'm just wondering what the hell happened and all that. I'm also paranoid, because I'm watching out for Jackies mom. Umm... I have an idea. Hmm... Should I be proud or just talk? Now I feel like a fucking asshole, I feel stupid and I waisted money. Son of a Fucking Bitch!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to scream at the top of my lungs. Jackie said not to stress it, but I hate being in the dark about thing and I'm just frustrated. If I was outside or in a more comfortable place I'd scream and jump and go crazy and take out all this bad energy and crash out so I would stop thinking of this bullshit. I didn't even drink today when I could have. I didn't want to really, but that was main reason. Grrr... Maybe I think about shit too much; or I stress things too much. Or maybe , I just make a big deal out of nothing; but then I could be acting too mellow about it when should bemore assertive and find out what the hell i want to find out. Shit I'd bet some one who reads will think of me wrong ( the whole livejournal thing), because I only really put shit on here when I'm mad or something like that. I only put negative shit on this thing, because I know nobody's really going to read it. I've deleted my account acouple times too, because I get mad at it. hahaa nvm. Well the cd is skipping, how fucking great? I love skipping cds, it just shows everything gets fucked up fast or that someone doesn't know how to take care of their cd. It's not my cd by the way, but acouple of mine skip too. Okay enough of this bullshit, I'm going to do something to ge my mind off things. What the hell is there to do? Shit I'll find something.
Naturally,
Julia