Halp
I'm kind of a little bit of an emotional wreck internally when it comes to what I may want to do as far as completing higher education in my life goes. I also have other issues going on, that are fueling my emotions.
I would really appreciate any input anyone may have to offer. I apologize to anyone who reads this, mostly because I'm kind of exhausted at the moment and am certainly going to get a bit sarcastic and cynical at some points. But, if you are taking the time to read this...I promise, I value your opinion.
First things first: I'm still teetering on the edge as to whether or not I actually care about having a BA/BS. I'm actually not 100% sure at this point in my life if I'm ever going to actually know if I care about having one or not. I am not a career-oriented girl. I am a "pursue happiness" kind of person, who understands the relevance of being level-headed about money...but, I have very, very simple needs. I do not have any great material need in my life. The only reason why I actually think that I should be wanting to pursue a career is because it's an absolute shame not to live up to one's potential and I would like to be able to support myself (which is LAUGHABLE, but I'm not going to rant about that.)
Some background information...I went to college after high school because that's what smart, middle-class kids did in 2004. I went for two years, ended up "taking a break" to establish residency in another state, then life happened and I didn't go back to any sort of school. On top of taking such a long "break," I defaulted on my student loans. I'm in the process of working that out. I should be eligible for financial aid again by the Summer 2013; not too bad. The problem is that grant money isn't adequate for what I want to do (loans + straight-up cash aren't an option.)
I went to school for Journalism and Mass Communications, but took mostly general education classes. The classes I took would (likely) fulfill about 42 credits toward a BA/BS. The only issue with this is that I owe the university I went to $1,000 (which, I have to pay, and will, and have the money for...but, it's still an added stress) before I can send my transcripts off to any school.
I didn't like the Journalism classes. I doubt that I would like them if I went to take them again. I choose Journalism because my dad suggested it, because it was a good option for someone who wanted to make a career out of writing. I didn't realize that "making a career out of writing" entailed being made to give up any level of true creativity for your first couple/few years of career years. Anyway. It's not really that I wouldn't go and do that...it's just...really not what I want to do.
What I would really like to do is be an editor (of books, at a magazine, whatever) or be an English high school teacher. Those are pretty much the only paths that make me go, "Hey, I think I'd actually enjoy going and doing THAT every day!" Otherwise, I would be happy with a job that was heavily writing-oriented (because that is my primary skill in life) but that wasn't super-d00per interesting to me, such as technical writing.
On top of trying to choose how I may want to go to college, I'm under the strain of trying to make moving to Canada (staying as a visitor/temporary resident) work.
The moving to Canada thing makes it so I have to pick an online college. That's...easier said than done, for someone with my interests (yay, thank you God for making me an artsy, creative, Liberal Arts type of girl...thank you failtastic colleges online who do not have English/Writing degrees online. I AM SO APPRECIATIVE OF THIS AWESOMENESS.)
Anyway!
Along with online colleges having very little options that interest me, the issue of the cost of higher education comes into play. I'm sure it's no surprise such a dilemma has had me trying to find something, anything that I find remotely interesting to pursue, even if it's not the best option.
Thee reason why I've considered such things is because I need a financial plan before I do anything. I don't and won't have petty cash laying around to pay for any college expenses. I'm going to be relying 100% on grant money for this venture: otherwise, it's not going to happen at all.
The actual Question (kind of a run-on question): The general consensus of the world + the internet + any adult in my life I would ask would be this: any sort of general education would be a waste of time. For someone in my shoes, who has nothing in the way of full formal education, who wants to do certain things in her life that (yes, may look incredibly foolish to some, meaning the moving to Canada bit), how terrible of a thing is that really? I've considered just getting an Associate's degree in something. Other than that, a BA/BS (whatever the school would offer) in General Studies. Or, trying to see if this BA/BS in Interdisciplinary Studies thing is possible.
My validation for thinking that any of these options would be valid is that: I can always go back to school for further education (with the Associate's); OR, with the BA/BS in General Studies, I could get some sort of certification for something that I find interesting. I presume the BA/BS in Interdisciplinary Studies is almost always a Professional Adult sought degree, that I don't have enough credits for at the moment.
My further validation is this...if I wanted to pursue any career in writing (and I do. The teaching thing isn't something I think I'd ACTUALLY be good at, because I'm not really a big people person), a huge part of success in writing comes from building a portfolio. Which takes time. Which, sure, I could do more successfully in an entry-level English/Writing job, but I can also write even when I'm not in such a job? I realize that a job in editing might not be possible without a BA in English/a similar field, but I think anyone can tell at this point that I'm still on the fence about what I'd actually want to do for a career.
The bottom line here is that I'm trying to pursue what makes me happy. I'm tired of feeling like I have to do something because anyone else tells me that that's what I should do: the inner voice inside me that totally has valid, logical reasons; my parents; society; friends; family.
My quest for true happiness lies in moving to Canada where my boyfriend and one of my best friends currently lives. Honestly, the long-distance relationship is too hard on either of us. It's that plain and simple, even if it sounds immature or unwise. I've made these kinds of choices for men in the past. I know that women are prone to sacrificing a lot, and I know that that kind of thing looks stupid to parents and other women seeing another woman do it. I have done a great, GREAT deal of thinking in the past couple of months about this. Feel free to give your opinion on this matter, but it's not what I'm looking for. <3 I don't consider myself to be a foolish person, and I can see why someone would suggest that I put myself first before thinking about what I should could be doing living with my boyfriend...but, fact of the matter is, I am unhappy not being with him, and that needs to change. I could ramble on about why I oh-so desperately want to be with him, but I won't? He's worth is, we're in love, and both of those are good enough for me.
Anywhoo! I can see how the part about Canada raises red flags. I appreciate any concern in that area as well, but I promise when I say this: I have wanted to live in Canada for several years now. It's not just because of my boyfriend, but I would be a liar if I said that wasn't the primary reason.
I would really appreciate advice on the college question up there, if you have the time and energy. :)
I would really appreciate any input anyone may have to offer. I apologize to anyone who reads this, mostly because I'm kind of exhausted at the moment and am certainly going to get a bit sarcastic and cynical at some points. But, if you are taking the time to read this...I promise, I value your opinion.
First things first: I'm still teetering on the edge as to whether or not I actually care about having a BA/BS. I'm actually not 100% sure at this point in my life if I'm ever going to actually know if I care about having one or not. I am not a career-oriented girl. I am a "pursue happiness" kind of person, who understands the relevance of being level-headed about money...but, I have very, very simple needs. I do not have any great material need in my life. The only reason why I actually think that I should be wanting to pursue a career is because it's an absolute shame not to live up to one's potential and I would like to be able to support myself (which is LAUGHABLE, but I'm not going to rant about that.)
Some background information...I went to college after high school because that's what smart, middle-class kids did in 2004. I went for two years, ended up "taking a break" to establish residency in another state, then life happened and I didn't go back to any sort of school. On top of taking such a long "break," I defaulted on my student loans. I'm in the process of working that out. I should be eligible for financial aid again by the Summer 2013; not too bad. The problem is that grant money isn't adequate for what I want to do (loans + straight-up cash aren't an option.)
I went to school for Journalism and Mass Communications, but took mostly general education classes. The classes I took would (likely) fulfill about 42 credits toward a BA/BS. The only issue with this is that I owe the university I went to $1,000 (which, I have to pay, and will, and have the money for...but, it's still an added stress) before I can send my transcripts off to any school.
I didn't like the Journalism classes. I doubt that I would like them if I went to take them again. I choose Journalism because my dad suggested it, because it was a good option for someone who wanted to make a career out of writing. I didn't realize that "making a career out of writing" entailed being made to give up any level of true creativity for your first couple/few years of career years. Anyway. It's not really that I wouldn't go and do that...it's just...really not what I want to do.
What I would really like to do is be an editor (of books, at a magazine, whatever) or be an English high school teacher. Those are pretty much the only paths that make me go, "Hey, I think I'd actually enjoy going and doing THAT every day!" Otherwise, I would be happy with a job that was heavily writing-oriented (because that is my primary skill in life) but that wasn't super-d00per interesting to me, such as technical writing.
On top of trying to choose how I may want to go to college, I'm under the strain of trying to make moving to Canada (staying as a visitor/temporary resident) work.
The moving to Canada thing makes it so I have to pick an online college. That's...easier said than done, for someone with my interests (yay, thank you God for making me an artsy, creative, Liberal Arts type of girl...thank you failtastic colleges online who do not have English/Writing degrees online. I AM SO APPRECIATIVE OF THIS AWESOMENESS.)
Anyway!
Along with online colleges having very little options that interest me, the issue of the cost of higher education comes into play. I'm sure it's no surprise such a dilemma has had me trying to find something, anything that I find remotely interesting to pursue, even if it's not the best option.
Thee reason why I've considered such things is because I need a financial plan before I do anything. I don't and won't have petty cash laying around to pay for any college expenses. I'm going to be relying 100% on grant money for this venture: otherwise, it's not going to happen at all.
The actual Question (kind of a run-on question): The general consensus of the world + the internet + any adult in my life I would ask would be this: any sort of general education would be a waste of time. For someone in my shoes, who has nothing in the way of full formal education, who wants to do certain things in her life that (yes, may look incredibly foolish to some, meaning the moving to Canada bit), how terrible of a thing is that really? I've considered just getting an Associate's degree in something. Other than that, a BA/BS (whatever the school would offer) in General Studies. Or, trying to see if this BA/BS in Interdisciplinary Studies thing is possible.
My validation for thinking that any of these options would be valid is that: I can always go back to school for further education (with the Associate's); OR, with the BA/BS in General Studies, I could get some sort of certification for something that I find interesting. I presume the BA/BS in Interdisciplinary Studies is almost always a Professional Adult sought degree, that I don't have enough credits for at the moment.
My further validation is this...if I wanted to pursue any career in writing (and I do. The teaching thing isn't something I think I'd ACTUALLY be good at, because I'm not really a big people person), a huge part of success in writing comes from building a portfolio. Which takes time. Which, sure, I could do more successfully in an entry-level English/Writing job, but I can also write even when I'm not in such a job? I realize that a job in editing might not be possible without a BA in English/a similar field, but I think anyone can tell at this point that I'm still on the fence about what I'd actually want to do for a career.
The bottom line here is that I'm trying to pursue what makes me happy. I'm tired of feeling like I have to do something because anyone else tells me that that's what I should do: the inner voice inside me that totally has valid, logical reasons; my parents; society; friends; family.
My quest for true happiness lies in moving to Canada where my boyfriend and one of my best friends currently lives. Honestly, the long-distance relationship is too hard on either of us. It's that plain and simple, even if it sounds immature or unwise. I've made these kinds of choices for men in the past. I know that women are prone to sacrificing a lot, and I know that that kind of thing looks stupid to parents and other women seeing another woman do it. I have done a great, GREAT deal of thinking in the past couple of months about this. Feel free to give your opinion on this matter, but it's not what I'm looking for. <3 I don't consider myself to be a foolish person, and I can see why someone would suggest that I put myself first before thinking about what I should could be doing living with my boyfriend...but, fact of the matter is, I am unhappy not being with him, and that needs to change. I could ramble on about why I oh-so desperately want to be with him, but I won't? He's worth is, we're in love, and both of those are good enough for me.
Anywhoo! I can see how the part about Canada raises red flags. I appreciate any concern in that area as well, but I promise when I say this: I have wanted to live in Canada for several years now. It's not just because of my boyfriend, but I would be a liar if I said that wasn't the primary reason.
I would really appreciate advice on the college question up there, if you have the time and energy. :)