College
I am not going to spend time trying to make up for the memories I didn't record here. I know them, my friends know them. Good enough for me. Plus, I'm lazy.
I'm in college now, and lets just say it's not all I had hoped for. Lets disect the fundamentals of my life, in regards to college...
Friends: I go from having dozens on friends, most of which I would do anything for, to barely any at all. It's nice to have Justyne here at UConn with me, but I really miss my close high school friends, which I will list because it makes me happy: Liz, Andrew, Felicia, Mikala, Cat, Kristine, Josh, Ryan, Lisa, Mel, Steph, Calley, Hannah, Evan, Mitch, Alicia, Patty,... the list just goes on of the people I would give GINORMOUS hugs to right now if I could. I have made a few friends on campus, but mostly upperclassman, which gives me no comfort for the coming years if I stay at UConn...
which leads me to:
Transfering: I have been heavily considering transfering to Cedarville University in the Spring Semester, for a few very good reasons. First, I want to change my major I think. I have been working on sermons for the last few months and find myself more and more into the idea of becoming a Pastor somewhere. For that, I would need atleast a Christian college. Secondly, I know I would have fun at a Christian college around people who are more like me and not drunken idiots (future David Wells's abide in Storrs, CT). Cedarville comes as an obvious choice because I have gotten so many good reviews of it, from the friends I know and trust who go there now. Its in Ohio: a problem.
which leads me to:
Family: I miss my family more now than I ever have in my life. I know this sounds a little ridiculous, but like, its the smallest things around my family I miss more than anything in my high school life. Things like talking with my mom on the couch at night while watching Law and Order, going to the store with my dad, driving around with my brother: all these now-distant memories are so fragile and yet fresh in my mind. I am going home this weekend, but what if I move to Ohio, does that make me selfish?
lol which leads me to:
Faith: my faith is stronger than ever now, being put through a fire of agnosticism. its amazing how strongly I believe in Christ now. Its the only thing I can really hold strong about in my life.
Overall, I feel kind of lost right now here at UConn, deciding what to do day by day, by month, year, and lifetime. Everything seems to be going so slow and so fast, depending on the occasion and environment. Ethan Frome is how I will explain my mood here. Its the neutrality of all my emotions here than I feel is making my life so poorly UConn. I feel like that one fading red blush of a cheek in a world of snow.
I know its sad, and I in no way am upset by any of it, as hard as that is to believe. Accepting it has been one of the hardest things over the last 18 years, and I hope I don't.
I'm in college now, and lets just say it's not all I had hoped for. Lets disect the fundamentals of my life, in regards to college...
Friends: I go from having dozens on friends, most of which I would do anything for, to barely any at all. It's nice to have Justyne here at UConn with me, but I really miss my close high school friends, which I will list because it makes me happy: Liz, Andrew, Felicia, Mikala, Cat, Kristine, Josh, Ryan, Lisa, Mel, Steph, Calley, Hannah, Evan, Mitch, Alicia, Patty,... the list just goes on of the people I would give GINORMOUS hugs to right now if I could. I have made a few friends on campus, but mostly upperclassman, which gives me no comfort for the coming years if I stay at UConn...
which leads me to:
Transfering: I have been heavily considering transfering to Cedarville University in the Spring Semester, for a few very good reasons. First, I want to change my major I think. I have been working on sermons for the last few months and find myself more and more into the idea of becoming a Pastor somewhere. For that, I would need atleast a Christian college. Secondly, I know I would have fun at a Christian college around people who are more like me and not drunken idiots (future David Wells's abide in Storrs, CT). Cedarville comes as an obvious choice because I have gotten so many good reviews of it, from the friends I know and trust who go there now. Its in Ohio: a problem.
which leads me to:
Family: I miss my family more now than I ever have in my life. I know this sounds a little ridiculous, but like, its the smallest things around my family I miss more than anything in my high school life. Things like talking with my mom on the couch at night while watching Law and Order, going to the store with my dad, driving around with my brother: all these now-distant memories are so fragile and yet fresh in my mind. I am going home this weekend, but what if I move to Ohio, does that make me selfish?
lol which leads me to:
Faith: my faith is stronger than ever now, being put through a fire of agnosticism. its amazing how strongly I believe in Christ now. Its the only thing I can really hold strong about in my life.
Overall, I feel kind of lost right now here at UConn, deciding what to do day by day, by month, year, and lifetime. Everything seems to be going so slow and so fast, depending on the occasion and environment. Ethan Frome is how I will explain my mood here. Its the neutrality of all my emotions here than I feel is making my life so poorly UConn. I feel like that one fading red blush of a cheek in a world of snow.
I know its sad, and I in no way am upset by any of it, as hard as that is to believe. Accepting it has been one of the hardest things over the last 18 years, and I hope I don't.