Look, she can update on occasion
Have you ever spent every waking moment without having a single ONE of those moments to yourself?
I do. Every single day.
There are a few people on my list wondering why I wasn't responding yesterday, or hardly at all lately. It's because I'm fucking tired. I work, and have been working for EIGHT months straight now. Five days a week, 12-16 hours a day? And I get pulled in every which direction by people, people who demand my attention and my words. And I am at my wits end with it, honestly.
If it's not my Mom, it's my Dad. If it's not my parents, it's my other two siblings. If it's not them, it's Meladi or James, or friends from South Dakota.
My lack of time alone is causing me to withdraw from the world completely, and I'm happy with that fact. The faster I withdraw, the quicker they'll quit demanding my goddamn attention and just let me breathe. But, that's not a GOOD thing by other people's views, as much as I would actually LIKE to be ALONE.
How can one want to exist in their own world when their own world is smothering them?
I want to disappear. I want to just up and go and not tell a soul, just so I can be alone for once. So this is a message to everyone on here who may be wondering, because they ALL have the same idea that Megan needs to be around constantly.
I'm glad I'm important to people, don't get me wrong. But I'm a human being, not superman. I can't cater to everyone's needs all the time, and having people demand answers as to WHY I don't when I don't just...makes me feel like fucking shit.
If I don't respond? Just remember that maybe...just MAYBE, Megan NEEDS to be left alone? She's human too, and not a caterer to what other people want at all times.
EDIT: I try to be a good friend to every one of you; I feel like an asshole putting this up. I do. But it's time for me to draw a line, get selfish and say HEY, can you think of MY feelings now? Otherwise, it's in Megan's nature to pick fights, and I want to AVOID this.
I love being there for my friends, and I love striving to be the best friend I can be to anyone. But it's time for me to ask for time to breathe.
I do. Every single day.
There are a few people on my list wondering why I wasn't responding yesterday, or hardly at all lately. It's because I'm fucking tired. I work, and have been working for EIGHT months straight now. Five days a week, 12-16 hours a day? And I get pulled in every which direction by people, people who demand my attention and my words. And I am at my wits end with it, honestly.
If it's not my Mom, it's my Dad. If it's not my parents, it's my other two siblings. If it's not them, it's Meladi or James, or friends from South Dakota.
My lack of time alone is causing me to withdraw from the world completely, and I'm happy with that fact. The faster I withdraw, the quicker they'll quit demanding my goddamn attention and just let me breathe. But, that's not a GOOD thing by other people's views, as much as I would actually LIKE to be ALONE.
How can one want to exist in their own world when their own world is smothering them?
I want to disappear. I want to just up and go and not tell a soul, just so I can be alone for once. So this is a message to everyone on here who may be wondering, because they ALL have the same idea that Megan needs to be around constantly.
I'm glad I'm important to people, don't get me wrong. But I'm a human being, not superman. I can't cater to everyone's needs all the time, and having people demand answers as to WHY I don't when I don't just...makes me feel like fucking shit.
If I don't respond? Just remember that maybe...just MAYBE, Megan NEEDS to be left alone? She's human too, and not a caterer to what other people want at all times.
EDIT: I try to be a good friend to every one of you; I feel like an asshole putting this up. I do. But it's time for me to draw a line, get selfish and say HEY, can you think of MY feelings now? Otherwise, it's in Megan's nature to pick fights, and I want to AVOID this.
I love being there for my friends, and I love striving to be the best friend I can be to anyone. But it's time for me to ask for time to breathe.