I'm Falling
I don't know how I did it... But I need to keep it a secret... I had the suspicion that I was falling in love with her too. No not Anne. I love her and always will. No this person is different. I don't know how it happened... Maybe when she was at my house and just talking to me. Maybe it was all the times I made her mad. When I made her really mad. Maybe it was when she hangs out with her friends and makes me jealous. Or how I wait for her to get back. How I feel so lonely when she's gone. This shouldn't happen again. This really shouldn't be happening. I looked at her this last time... And I thought she was so pretty and everything... I hope that it's not true. I hope that I don't love her... I really hope that because I don't wanna fall again... I don't want to... But everytime she talks to me... I more andmore wanna flirt and talk and hug than I want to just be a regular clown. Maybe it's because she's known me too... Maybe because now I've let her in even though I've tried so hard to keep everyone out... I just realized it... I really did... I looked at her... I felt jealous of the people close to her... I am over protective of her... And I realize that everytime her herself is jealous... She pulls me away from everyone I try to seduce. Everytime I say "Screw it, lets seduce someone." Her anger. Her smiles. Her laughter. Her overall self. It makes me pull away from everyone and go back to her. I can't fall in love with her. I can't... I don't want to go through it all. I can't love anyone else. I need to be alone... I need to make her feel like she's just like every other person... I refuse to fall in love with my best friend... I refuse... I refuse to love anyone ever again. Just let me be a friend and be alone. But don't make me start the cycle again. I don't want it.