This is the letter I wrote to my sister... Tell me what you think
Crystal-
I dont even know were to start. You are my sister and with that fact alone, I love you. But that isnt the only reason. You are outgoing and caring and loud and I love you for all of those and so many more. You love regardless and seem to have a craving for life that many wish they could have. I have never been on a family vacation, with you there, that I didnt have fun.. even if we fought a lot. In fact, when we went to Paris, I really didn't have a great time. Yea, it was beautiful and.. jesus, it was Paris, there was no one there for me to hang out with, someone for me to relate to. It made me realize how much i enjoy and appreciate your company.
Ever since I was litte, I have always looked up to you. When you were a teenager I was a teenager in training. Now that we have become more equal in status, I have looked to you for guidance. Recently, I have been examining our relationship. I can't imagine my life without you in it. Part s the reason I decieded to live in Spokane after Medical school is, not only because this is my home, but also because I can't imagine being far from my sisters. You guys are some of the most important people in my life, they always will be. Up until Iowa I thought we had a great relationship. I remember telling Josh how much I love being your sister. Not i know there are some problems. In Iowa, I realized that I didn't feel comfertable coming to you with how i felt. Mainly because I didnt want you to shoot down my feelings and tell me I shouldn't feel that way and why. I cant help how I feel. I feel like, when I do come to you, your reaction is, "Oh, well, Im sorry, don't feel like that." Sometimes I just need someone to listen and give me a hug. Nothing more. I want so badly for you to be that person. But, right now, you arnt.
The whole time you stayed with us there was riction. I felt like you were riding my ass the whole time about everything. I was going to do what you requested, after my paper was done. When you are writing a paper, you need to come to a natural stopping point, otherwise you get off track and the potential for tha paper goes down. You need to understand that I was going to move the damn shoes... in 10 minutes. Then, for me to explain this to you and or you to start bitching at me abd tell me im lazyis, to me, inappropriate. At the time, I felt like 'I dont have to listen to this shit.' So i hung up. After my paper i moved the shoes.
Then after you get home to start the fight.. Sheesh! talk about frustration! I thought maybe we would play it offf as if nothing happened.. like we usually do. I know that this isnt the ideal way of dealing with this stuff, but, thats how it usually goes. I know i wasn't right of me to walk away from you while you were talking, but you were really frustrating me an making me angry and I wanted to walk away before we both said stuff we would regret. Then you followed me to my room. Following the retreat to my room, you degraded me and my character for 10 minutes, pulling out all my flaws. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? To hear my own sister, the one I look up to, breaking me down bit by bit. It was devistating. I would never say such things to someone I love, even if I was thinking them I dont know if you remember but you called me lazy, selfish, disrespectul and immature. Does a lazy, selfish, disrespectul and immature person get up evey morning and go to school? Or work at Schul, teaching little kids hebrew? Or reguest applications to college, on their own, and then take the time to apply? Or even go to Iowa and meet everyone? That took a lot for me. If I am so selffish then why would I ever volenteer my time for someone? Or work at camp and get paid shit for it? I do it because I enjoy it, not because someone is making me. I almost feel like you expect respect from us.. but you dont return any of it. I wasnt to be respected.. not just as your sister, but as a person, an adult, too. Just like you, and mom, and Dad I want to feel appreciated.
Crys, you really hurt me. i cried myself to sleep that night. You degraded me and my character. What kind of sister does that? You didn't even come in and shut the door. Instead, you left it open and let the girls listen to every word. What if, nowm they think its okay to treat me like that? They are young an impressionable. If they see a sister treating another sister like that what do you think will go throught their heads? You broke one of the unspoken, sacred rules of being a sister... you hurt me.. on purpose. How can we work on our relationship when this is what is happening? yea.. I dont know either.
I love you, crystal, I do, so much. But I think you need to realize that i am not a child anymore. I have my own thoughts, and opinions, and morals. I can think for myself and I know the difference between right and wrong. I know we were both wrong, and Im sorry if I hurt you. Il work on that.
Happy birthday Crys. i love you
Luv, Kelsi Lynn
I dont even know were to start. You are my sister and with that fact alone, I love you. But that isnt the only reason. You are outgoing and caring and loud and I love you for all of those and so many more. You love regardless and seem to have a craving for life that many wish they could have. I have never been on a family vacation, with you there, that I didnt have fun.. even if we fought a lot. In fact, when we went to Paris, I really didn't have a great time. Yea, it was beautiful and.. jesus, it was Paris, there was no one there for me to hang out with, someone for me to relate to. It made me realize how much i enjoy and appreciate your company.
Ever since I was litte, I have always looked up to you. When you were a teenager I was a teenager in training. Now that we have become more equal in status, I have looked to you for guidance. Recently, I have been examining our relationship. I can't imagine my life without you in it. Part s the reason I decieded to live in Spokane after Medical school is, not only because this is my home, but also because I can't imagine being far from my sisters. You guys are some of the most important people in my life, they always will be. Up until Iowa I thought we had a great relationship. I remember telling Josh how much I love being your sister. Not i know there are some problems. In Iowa, I realized that I didn't feel comfertable coming to you with how i felt. Mainly because I didnt want you to shoot down my feelings and tell me I shouldn't feel that way and why. I cant help how I feel. I feel like, when I do come to you, your reaction is, "Oh, well, Im sorry, don't feel like that." Sometimes I just need someone to listen and give me a hug. Nothing more. I want so badly for you to be that person. But, right now, you arnt.
The whole time you stayed with us there was riction. I felt like you were riding my ass the whole time about everything. I was going to do what you requested, after my paper was done. When you are writing a paper, you need to come to a natural stopping point, otherwise you get off track and the potential for tha paper goes down. You need to understand that I was going to move the damn shoes... in 10 minutes. Then, for me to explain this to you and or you to start bitching at me abd tell me im lazyis, to me, inappropriate. At the time, I felt like 'I dont have to listen to this shit.' So i hung up. After my paper i moved the shoes.
Then after you get home to start the fight.. Sheesh! talk about frustration! I thought maybe we would play it offf as if nothing happened.. like we usually do. I know that this isnt the ideal way of dealing with this stuff, but, thats how it usually goes. I know i wasn't right of me to walk away from you while you were talking, but you were really frustrating me an making me angry and I wanted to walk away before we both said stuff we would regret. Then you followed me to my room. Following the retreat to my room, you degraded me and my character for 10 minutes, pulling out all my flaws. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? To hear my own sister, the one I look up to, breaking me down bit by bit. It was devistating. I would never say such things to someone I love, even if I was thinking them I dont know if you remember but you called me lazy, selfish, disrespectul and immature. Does a lazy, selfish, disrespectul and immature person get up evey morning and go to school? Or work at Schul, teaching little kids hebrew? Or reguest applications to college, on their own, and then take the time to apply? Or even go to Iowa and meet everyone? That took a lot for me. If I am so selffish then why would I ever volenteer my time for someone? Or work at camp and get paid shit for it? I do it because I enjoy it, not because someone is making me. I almost feel like you expect respect from us.. but you dont return any of it. I wasnt to be respected.. not just as your sister, but as a person, an adult, too. Just like you, and mom, and Dad I want to feel appreciated.
Crys, you really hurt me. i cried myself to sleep that night. You degraded me and my character. What kind of sister does that? You didn't even come in and shut the door. Instead, you left it open and let the girls listen to every word. What if, nowm they think its okay to treat me like that? They are young an impressionable. If they see a sister treating another sister like that what do you think will go throught their heads? You broke one of the unspoken, sacred rules of being a sister... you hurt me.. on purpose. How can we work on our relationship when this is what is happening? yea.. I dont know either.
I love you, crystal, I do, so much. But I think you need to realize that i am not a child anymore. I have my own thoughts, and opinions, and morals. I can think for myself and I know the difference between right and wrong. I know we were both wrong, and Im sorry if I hurt you. Il work on that.
Happy birthday Crys. i love you
Luv, Kelsi Lynn