Girls
Recently, I've contemplated dating again.
I've had my sights set on a very unique and challenging girl named Jillian. When I first began spending time with her, she was not terribly kind, or any of the qualities I look for in a girl. Still, she was brilliant and a party girl. Someone who knew how to get her work done and make the grade as well as have fun. Someone who could stay out and get drunk, and then be setting the curve on the Multivariable Calculus for Engineering Students exams had to be brilliant as she was beautiful and fun. I was intrigued by this and tried to spend more time with her. I quickly grew tired of her lack of respect for my feelings or wishes, and almost as soon as I began to think she was not worth it, something amazing happened: I gained her trust.
Trust is not something she gives out readily like most. Her past is a bit troubled, so she has a predisposition to be distant and only look out for her own interests. When she began to trust me, it was a complete shift from what I had expected. Suddenly the girl who seemed slightly bitch had a vounerable side, and when we were alone, and when the situation was right, she displayed qualities of a little kid - hardly the hardened bad girl persona she gave most.
Now here is where she began to spell trouble for me. She is still not nearly all the things I look for in a girl, and does not show or take affection well unless we are alone and she is in the right mood.
Her brilliance and now the fact that she trusts me and has shown me a side of her not often seen - especially since the silly little kid aspect is something I really look for, and in her is especially surprising, makes her very attractive to me.
Now we've developed a little history together and I asked her about dating. In short, she's not interested. "Why would you date in college?" she asks, "You get drunk, something will inevitably happen, and I'll fuck it up", referring to the time she got drunk in Mexico and was spotted by her boyfriend making out with some random guy.
I've had my sights set on a very unique and challenging girl named Jillian. When I first began spending time with her, she was not terribly kind, or any of the qualities I look for in a girl. Still, she was brilliant and a party girl. Someone who knew how to get her work done and make the grade as well as have fun. Someone who could stay out and get drunk, and then be setting the curve on the Multivariable Calculus for Engineering Students exams had to be brilliant as she was beautiful and fun. I was intrigued by this and tried to spend more time with her. I quickly grew tired of her lack of respect for my feelings or wishes, and almost as soon as I began to think she was not worth it, something amazing happened: I gained her trust.
Trust is not something she gives out readily like most. Her past is a bit troubled, so she has a predisposition to be distant and only look out for her own interests. When she began to trust me, it was a complete shift from what I had expected. Suddenly the girl who seemed slightly bitch had a vounerable side, and when we were alone, and when the situation was right, she displayed qualities of a little kid - hardly the hardened bad girl persona she gave most.
Now here is where she began to spell trouble for me. She is still not nearly all the things I look for in a girl, and does not show or take affection well unless we are alone and she is in the right mood.
Her brilliance and now the fact that she trusts me and has shown me a side of her not often seen - especially since the silly little kid aspect is something I really look for, and in her is especially surprising, makes her very attractive to me.
Now we've developed a little history together and I asked her about dating. In short, she's not interested. "Why would you date in college?" she asks, "You get drunk, something will inevitably happen, and I'll fuck it up", referring to the time she got drunk in Mexico and was spotted by her boyfriend making out with some random guy.