paranoia and drinking
The paranoia thing is a pain. The worst of it has thankfully past. It all started because an old kind of friend turned up in Huddersfield again, and was talking to my amazing girlfriend. That didn't bother me.
What was bothering me was he did something very shitty to me a long time ago, involving my then girlfriend. She didn't tell me about it straight away because she didn't want me getting mad at him for what he tried to do. In my recent life, somebody I thought was a friend tried a similar thing with the amazing Ritchie.
From what she told me, he told her he loved her, and tried to make her dump me for him. She carried on being his friend and he seemed happy with this, recently however he has stopped talking to her except to cry like a big girl about her.
The thing that made me paranoid was the thought that he may have done more than the gorgeous Ritchie has let on. Be it trying to kiss her, sending her porno txts or emails, or worse. I have now been convinced that nothing like that happened, but even if it did, she is only not telling me because it would get me more pissed off. I don't blame her for that. I really don't. I don't think I will ever be able to trust him though. He could have done stuff. Bastard.
Luckily, as I said, I'm fine now. Just wanted to rant for a while into the internet void.
Went out last night after the game, which was awesome again. It is really nice to go back to Fifty as a GM.
I spent some drunken time talking to many people, found out that the girl who insulted me on a forum recently, had also been badmouthing me when we were working together.
Unfortunately, after the night out, when I was drunk, I misunderstood something the beautiful Ritchie said on the way home, and because we both thought we were in the right, neither of us wanted to back down. It turned into a big argument. There were tears and shouting. Luckily, I realised where I had misunderstood her and was then willing to back down. It's not that I was wrong, if she had said what I thought she said, I was right. But I'm not going to be such a bastard as let that stop us making up.
It turns out the reason the wonderful Ritchie was getting so upset is she thought I was just arguing to try and find a way out of our relationship.
After my stupid paranoia, I don't blame her for thinking that.
In every other relationship I have had, its about this time, approaching 18 months, that I start thinking of exit strategies. I see the grass on the other side, and it looks so green. So very green.
Not this time. This time all I see is the barbacue that has been left outside since summer, full of rain and scum. The broken swings.
For people who don't know me, or haven't realised yet, I'm in love. I don't want it to end, and even if stupid paranoia turned out to be true, I would still live her.
Now for more bad news. My best friend is going through money troubles. For people who know her, it's Jo, and I would appreciate it if nobody tells her any of this.
I owe her a bit of cash, and she needs it for this month, I wasn't expecting her to want it this month, I thought I could get it back to her in a while.
What this means to me is I probably won't be able to afford to go to the Nationals. I was going to be struggling as it was, but now, I think I will be spending the weekend at home.
I weekend away from the divine Ritchie as she is going.
The reason I don't want anybody to tell Jo is I don't want her to feel guilty. I DO owe her the money, it's not her fault I'm a bit short this month. (insert short joke here)
Other than that, life isn't too bad. I have a new shiny C.V. so I can start looking for a new job in earnest.
And I am in love with best girl I have ever met.
What was bothering me was he did something very shitty to me a long time ago, involving my then girlfriend. She didn't tell me about it straight away because she didn't want me getting mad at him for what he tried to do. In my recent life, somebody I thought was a friend tried a similar thing with the amazing Ritchie.
From what she told me, he told her he loved her, and tried to make her dump me for him. She carried on being his friend and he seemed happy with this, recently however he has stopped talking to her except to cry like a big girl about her.
The thing that made me paranoid was the thought that he may have done more than the gorgeous Ritchie has let on. Be it trying to kiss her, sending her porno txts or emails, or worse. I have now been convinced that nothing like that happened, but even if it did, she is only not telling me because it would get me more pissed off. I don't blame her for that. I really don't. I don't think I will ever be able to trust him though. He could have done stuff. Bastard.
Luckily, as I said, I'm fine now. Just wanted to rant for a while into the internet void.
Went out last night after the game, which was awesome again. It is really nice to go back to Fifty as a GM.
I spent some drunken time talking to many people, found out that the girl who insulted me on a forum recently, had also been badmouthing me when we were working together.
Unfortunately, after the night out, when I was drunk, I misunderstood something the beautiful Ritchie said on the way home, and because we both thought we were in the right, neither of us wanted to back down. It turned into a big argument. There were tears and shouting. Luckily, I realised where I had misunderstood her and was then willing to back down. It's not that I was wrong, if she had said what I thought she said, I was right. But I'm not going to be such a bastard as let that stop us making up.
It turns out the reason the wonderful Ritchie was getting so upset is she thought I was just arguing to try and find a way out of our relationship.
After my stupid paranoia, I don't blame her for thinking that.
In every other relationship I have had, its about this time, approaching 18 months, that I start thinking of exit strategies. I see the grass on the other side, and it looks so green. So very green.
Not this time. This time all I see is the barbacue that has been left outside since summer, full of rain and scum. The broken swings.
For people who don't know me, or haven't realised yet, I'm in love. I don't want it to end, and even if stupid paranoia turned out to be true, I would still live her.
Now for more bad news. My best friend is going through money troubles. For people who know her, it's Jo, and I would appreciate it if nobody tells her any of this.
I owe her a bit of cash, and she needs it for this month, I wasn't expecting her to want it this month, I thought I could get it back to her in a while.
What this means to me is I probably won't be able to afford to go to the Nationals. I was going to be struggling as it was, but now, I think I will be spending the weekend at home.
I weekend away from the divine Ritchie as she is going.
The reason I don't want anybody to tell Jo is I don't want her to feel guilty. I DO owe her the money, it's not her fault I'm a bit short this month. (insert short joke here)
Other than that, life isn't too bad. I have a new shiny C.V. so I can start looking for a new job in earnest.
And I am in love with best girl I have ever met.